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#65228 - 19 Nov 07 06:46 WEEKENDER/Things I don't Understand
KuKuKaChu Moderator Offline
Pooh Bah

Registered: 09 Oct 05
Posts: 10790
Loc: Centre of the Universe
From Jakarta Post's Weekender http://www.thejakartapost.com/weekender/10chit.asp

Things I don't Understand

At this point in life, I'm surprised fewer times than I'd like. It's been awhile since a movie made me heave my popcorn, or a holiday spot took my breath away.

But having moments with the unexpected is important. It keeps your juices flowing, and your wits sharper than a U-turn on Jl. Sudirman.

If nothing excites, delights or ignites you anymore, then it's time to turn in the second handphone and sit back with the pirated DVD collection of Mister Bean.

I'm glad to report that Indonesia is providing me with sights and situations that keep me healthily perplexed.

You probably have your own collection of head-scratchers. I wish someone could provide the answers to my list of 35 things I just don't understand:

1) Why there aren't more traffic accidents on Jakarta's insane city streets.

2) How mosquitoes can survive (and bite) in a freezing overly air-conditioned office.

3) Why ketchup is tomato sauce and kecap is soy sauce (although I now know our English word for the condiment is one of the few derived from Malay).

4) Why motorbike racing is allowed at 3 a.m. on the street in front of my apartment.

5) When I went back to a major department store to return a light bulb that didn't work, why the salesgirl, as she handed me a new one, put the defective one I just returned back on the shelf.

6) The low cost of getting a police officer to let you off without a ticket.

7) The high cost of getting a police officer to let you off without a ticket.

8) How often Vice President Jusuf Kalla gets his picture in the newspaper just for showing up.

9) Why there aren’t more places that deliciously celebrate local cuisine.

10) The appeal of American country-western music.

11) Why MetroMini bus drivers believe it's okay to go down the wrong side of the road heading directly toward your vehicle.

12) Why a woman would accept a dinner invitation that was obviously offered with date intentions, then ask if she can bring her boyfriend along at the last minute.

13) How women in dresses can ride motorbikes sideways.

14) Why the government isn't doing more to help the 700 homeless mudflow families in Sidoarjo living in a cramped vendor marketplace.

15) The incredible talent and poise of former child singing star Sherina Munaf, now a mature 17-year-old and on her way to big things.

16) How all the shops in Jakarta's upscale malls survive when I never see anyone buying anything in them.

17) Why my favorite office colleague routinely pours chili sauce over everything she orders, from foie gras to frog legs, without first tasting the dish.

18) Why there aren't more English-language news programs on Indonesian television networks.

19) The tremendous bargains at the Bunga Pasar flower market near Permata Hijau.

20) How Bali manages to succeed as a world-class resort destination despite the lack of memorable promotion and coordinated marketing.

21) Why there aren't more public complaints about the lack of safe and useable sidewalks in the city.

22) Why I'm charged a $1.60 fee for paying my credit card bill in person with cash.

23) Just how much the female singer Retno in the Sunday afternoon acoustic group Cojos at Plaza Indonesia sounds like Karen Carpenter in a headscarf.

24) How someone first thought of harvesting the most expensive coffee in the world, Indonesia's kopi luwak -- beans salvaged from the feces of the civet.

25) Just how normal (and wild) the nightlife is in the capital of the world's most populous Muslim country.

26) What would have to happen for everyone to attend an office meeting on time.

27) Why Tommy Soeharto doesn't make a huge donation to charity to win some valuable community goodwill.

28) Why all ATMs aren't open 24 hours.

29) Who decided that there should be 10 eggs in a carton instead of 12.

30) Why so many people here like to sing My Way and I Left My Heart in San Francisco at karaoke as they do in Japan.

31) How people can gain weight during the fasting month of Ramadhan.

32) Why anyone would want to buy a "Cinderella" trash can from a street vendor while waiting for the light to change.

33) Why the bride and groom can't enjoy more of their wedding party instead of being stuck on stage the whole time.

34) How dark and gloomy Soekarno-Hatta International Airport feels.

35) How much I enjoy life in Indonesia despite having a long list of things I just don’t understand.

Hawaii native Dalton Tanonaka is the co-anchor of Metro TV’s “Indonesia Now” program, seen on Saturday mornings at 7 a.m. and Sundays at 5:30 p.m. He can be reached at dalton@metrotvnews.com.
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#65328 - 21 Nov 07 19:04 Re: WEEKENDER/Things I don't Understand [Re: KuKuKaChu]
Shesca Offline
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Registered: 12 Aug 06
Posts: 852
Loc: Jakarta
You forgot to add :

How could average Indonesian or even Jakartan earn so low while having their street filled with that many vehicles cost more than 100 Million each?
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#65330 - 21 Nov 07 19:15 Re: WEEKENDER/Things I don't Understand [Re: Shesca]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Easy, the Brown Envelope Pay Packet scheme! Nine out of Ten corruptors swear by it!
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#65331 - 21 Nov 07 19:41 Re: WEEKENDER/Things I don't Understand [Re: Dilli]
Choc_Cow Offline
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Registered: 25 May 06
Posts: 1200
Loc: Di Puncak
I like number 5..

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#65332 - 21 Nov 07 21:06 Re: WEEKENDER/Things I don't Understand [Re: Choc_Cow]
emmajkt Offline
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Registered: 02 Mar 07
Posts: 698
Loc: here, there and everywhere
About the ketchup thing.... Indonesian is not so bad. When i asked 'tomato sauce' a french waiter asked me back if i want a tabasco.. Then i have to said Heinz tomato sauce. He said 'ha!! ketchup!' like i was the idiot one. Its clear written in the bottle 'TOMATO' Ketchup.

Freakin french, like tabasco made of tomato...??
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#65342 - 22 Nov 07 07:36 Re: WEEKENDER/Things I don't Understand [Re: emmajkt]
Dilli Offline
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Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Interesting discovery. If you have a squeezy Heinz tomato ketchup bottle and it has been left in the squeezed position, don't unsqueeze it when upside down then squeeze it again.

This causes a steady stream of ketchup to flow out, saturating you, Bacon Sandwich and the floor!

Trust me on this one!
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#65343 - 22 Nov 07 07:58 Re: WEEKENDER/Things I don't Understand [Re: Dilli]
kenyeung Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 16 Apr 07
Posts: 2374
Loc: Indonesia
Quoting: Dalton Tanonaka
15) The incredible talent and poise of former child singing star Sherina Munaf, now a mature 17-year-old and on her way to big things.


Is Dalton taking the piss? Or is he "turning Japanese" after his stint there - and after his failed run for US Congress? Naughty! But at least he writes with more talent in his little finger than most of the other contributors to The Jakarta Post. Which is saying nothing.


Edited by kenyeung (22 Nov 07 07:59)
Edit Reason: none

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#65345 - 22 Nov 07 08:01 Re: WEEKENDER/Things I don't Understand [Re: kenyeung]
Dilli Offline
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Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Also, when cleaning sauce from surfaces it has been spilt on why do you always get Kittens?




Edited by Dilli (22 Nov 07 08:02)
Edit Reason: Now with more kitten!
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#65346 - 22 Nov 07 08:06 Re: WEEKENDER/Things I don't Understand [Re: Dilli]
kenyeung Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 16 Apr 07
Posts: 2374
Loc: Indonesia
One moment and I'll explain where your kittens come from.

This is from the Bible, so you might have overlooked it:



Edited by kenyeung (22 Nov 07 08:10)

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#65347 - 22 Nov 07 08:10 Re: WEEKENDER/Things I don't Understand [Re: kenyeung]
kenyeung Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 16 Apr 07
Posts: 2374
Loc: Indonesia
And given that your kitten is blood-red, you were probably stroking it too vigorously.

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#65348 - 22 Nov 07 08:14 Re: WEEKENDER/Things I don't Understand [Re: kenyeung]
Dilli Offline
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Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Then explain this one..



I was not stroking anything - honest!



Vets believe the cat, which has two mouths, two noses and four eyes, may have two brains, as one face can go to sleep while the other remains awake and it can blink independently on each one.



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#65349 - 22 Nov 07 08:20 Re: WEEKENDER/Things I don't Understand [Re: kenyeung]
Dilli Offline
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Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Quoting: kenyeung
And given that your kitten is blood-red, you were probably stroking it too vigorously.


And on that subject!

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#65350 - 22 Nov 07 08:25 Re: WEEKENDER/Things I don't Understand [Re: Dilli]
kenyeung Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 16 Apr 07
Posts: 2374
Loc: Indonesia
Now who's being two-faced?

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#65351 - 22 Nov 07 08:27 Re: WEEKENDER/Things I don't Understand [Re: kenyeung]
Dilli Offline
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Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
If I was two faced I would not be wearing the one I have at the moment!
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#65355 - 22 Nov 07 08:39 Re: WEEKENDER/Things I don't Understand [Re: Dilli]
kenyeung Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 16 Apr 07
Posts: 2374
Loc: Indonesia
Your kitten-killing face, as old Ben Chong termed it. You'll never stop the meong throng in Jakarta. How is Ben Chong anyway? If she was a two-faced president she'd be Babe-raham Lincoln. But people would still hate Winnie the Pooh.


Edited by kenyeung (22 Nov 07 11:36)
Edit Reason: Winnie the Pooh

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#65359 - 22 Nov 07 09:44 Re: WEEKENDER/Things I don't Understand [Re: kenyeung]
juminten Offline
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Registered: 08 Dec 05
Posts: 3870
Loc: disana-disini
#12 is soo kewl!!
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#65388 - 22 Nov 07 13:20 Re: WEEKENDER/Things I don't Understand [Re: juminten]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Back to Number 3

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#65635 - 28 Nov 07 19:22 Re: WEEKENDER/Things I don't Understand [Re: Dilli]
emmajkt Offline
Member*

Registered: 02 Mar 07
Posts: 698
Loc: here, there and everywhere
yeah, dilli... it reminds me that i eat too much Bratwurst!
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#65637 - 28 Nov 07 21:03 Re: WEEKENDER/Things I don't Understand [Re: emmajkt]
Roy's Hair Offline
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Registered: 08 Nov 06
Posts: 3974
Loc: jakarta
When you say Bratwurst...
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#65645 - 29 Nov 07 08:33 Re: WEEKENDER/Things I don't Understand [Re: Roy's Hair]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Quoting: Roy's hair
When you say Bratwurst...


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