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The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being but to remind him that he is already degraded.
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Laughterwards
A TV show, Film or situation that was not really funny or marginally funny that for whatever reason is much funnier aftwrwards.
You have to watch Portlandia, but it's a laughterwards, so just give it a chance to kick in.
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#6338 - 06 Apr 06 14:19 Classes for men and women
D'ruby Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 13 Feb 06
Posts: 2177
Loc: My
CLASSES FOR MEN..

Evening classes for men. Starting this month! Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty of their contents, each course will accept amaximum of eight participants each.

Topic 1. How to fill ice-cube trays. Step by step with slide presentation.

Topic 2. Lavatory paper rolls: do they grow on the holders?
Round-table discussion.

Topic 3: Differences between the laundry basket and the floor.
Pictures and explanatory graphics.

Topic 4. The after-dinner dishes and silverware: can they levitate and fly into the kitchen sink? Examples on video.

Topic 5. Loss of identity: losing the remote to your significant other.
Helpline and support groups.

Topic 6. Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming. An open forum.!

Topic 7. Health watch: bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health.
Graphics and audio tape.

Topic 8. Real men ask for directions when lost. Real-life testimonials.

Topic 9. Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel parks?
Driving simulation.

Topic 10. Learning to live: basic differences between mother And wife.
Online class and role playing.

Topic 11. How to be the ideal shopping companion. Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.

Topic 12. How to fight cerebral atrophy: remembering birthdays, anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you're Going to be late. Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.

===================================================

CLASSES FOR WOMEN..

Women think they already know everything, but wait . training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:

1. Silence, The Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before

2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits

3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits

4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game

5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too

6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His

7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First

8. Communication Skills II : Thinking Before Speaking

9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging

10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire

11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up

12. Introduction to Parking

13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space

14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat

15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter

16. Cooking II: Brand and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption

17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People

18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully

19. PMS: Your Problem ... Not His

20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To

21. Classic Footwear: Wearing Shoes You Already Have

22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice

23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together

24. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both
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#6339 - 06 Apr 06 14:27 Re: Classes for men and women
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
You missed outsome:

Choose whether they are for males or females yourself.

The toilet seat does not need to be down all the time!

Tampon Etiquette - If you flush them, make sure they have gone before you leave!

Beer is good for breakfast

Sport is good
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Menace to Sobriety


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#6340 - 06 Apr 06 15:07 Re: Classes for men and women
g00f13 Offline
Member*

Registered: 12 Nov 05
Posts: 739
Loc: earth
I have to correct you there Dilli.

Beer is good for ANY occasions (whatever time or place).

I often wonder how toilet paper I've seen at the supermarket actually ended up in the toilet roll holder. My little stupid brain always thought the toilet paper fairy must've done it somehow.

As well as that, those cloths that I chucked on the floor somehow ended up on the cloth line then into the wardrobe nicely folded. Some fairy I tell you.

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#6341 - 06 Apr 06 15:10 Re: Classes for men and women
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Its a bastard when some other guys Y fornts end up in your drawer. Explain that one!

(Happened to me a long time ago, but that is another story)
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