Forums and Chat for Indonesia's English-speaking community
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 >
Topic Options
Rate This Topic
#60438 - 05 Sep 07 22:29 Eastern vs. Western
Shesca Offline
Member*

Registered: 12 Aug 06
Posts: 852
Loc: Jakarta
Ok. Not trying to be discriminating at all here. There seem to be some postings lately with people of different preferences. Some looking for Indo girl/guy (well, sorta) and some looking for Bule girl/guy. So what in Jakchatters' opinion the strength and weaknesses of either of these two? Let's talk general Eastern and general Western people (no particular race involved, so it's not Indo vs Bule). And im not talking about physical features but more anything else but.
_________________________
If you can't describe what you are doing as a process, you don't know what you're doing.

Top
#60440 - 05 Sep 07 23:30 Re: Eastern vs. Western [Re: Shesca]
Jokie Jokie Girl Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 07 Nov 05
Posts: 2552
Loc: Central Jakarta
let me first...
hope...it's work wink
my parent are Indonesian...all my family are Indonesian..most of my friends are Indonesians..so, I was living in Indonesian society
and then:
my ex..ex..ex..was bule
my ex..ex.. boss was bule
my lovely men is bule and one of my boss is also bule
so, I'living in bule area..
hard to say something..but however, Western and Eastern it's th same..
let's read:
"O, mankind! we are created you from a single (pair) of a male and a women, and made you into Nations and tribes, that you may know each other (not that you despise each other) verily, the most honoured of you in the sight of God is the most righteous of you..and God has full knowledge and is well acquainted"
I got from the Holly Alqur'an smile

hope nyambung and no offence kiss




_________________________
"I am the Island girl, born with the humble life, eat on the floor with the right hand"

Top
#60454 - 06 Sep 07 07:34 Re: Eastern vs. Western [Re: Jokie Jokie Girl]
Ena Offline
Member*

Registered: 26 Nov 05
Posts: 765
Loc: Sydney
cross cultural marriages are hard but rewarding work.I think communication ( as in language differences) are the biggest problem, because it can be that you can't really get each others humour or whatever, so we have to meet halfway. We can learn each others humour and " deeper" thoughts etc-or at least it's not/feels like it's not a direct understanding all the time, its just a matter of investing time/will.
The biggest shock was, for me - having a suddenly huge family-we tend to marry the person not the whole family, but its all ok in the end . I think also you kind of morph into your partner a bit-take on habits etc, and sometimes we forget that not everyone else gets what we are talking about or the meanings we understand very quickly etc.Can feel a bit disconnected at certain times. Ok-thats not a very good explanation, but hopefully you get the general gist of it :-)
Fullstop.

BTW- I get REALLY FUCKING STUPID QUESTIONS from some people

eg-exlaining where is husband from after being asked..and generally by someone surprised that no, people don't actually live in the jungle in jakarta..( based on son being eurasian etc)
One person said to me:
" So how did THAT happen"
Huh???? ..how did I conceive a child..what do you mean ??
I felt like saying
" ah -anything can happen in a bangkok jail" haha

I have more complaints involving idiots in sydney, but I'll leave em for now ..

_________________________
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=bIEOZCcaXzE

..take only what you need..

Top
#60456 - 06 Sep 07 08:33 Re: Eastern vs. Western [Re: Ena]
kenyeung Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 16 Apr 07
Posts: 2374
Loc: Indonesia
I tend to avoid "east vs west", "indo vs bule" threads like ikan asin, but would like to hear more of your "complaints involving idiots in sydney", please Ena.

Thanks.

Top
#60460 - 06 Sep 07 08:52 Re: Eastern vs. Western [Re: kenyeung]
chewwyUK Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 14 Sep 06
Posts: 2392
Loc: Jakarta
Women are like tiles. If you lay them right the first time then you can walk all over them for years wink

With that said I prefer Indonesian women. I like the fact they do not nag, never suffer from jealousy, will do as they are told and are happy to push the super market trolley.

Top
#60461 - 06 Sep 07 09:23 Re: Eastern vs. Western [Re: Ena]
emmajkt Offline
Member*

Registered: 02 Mar 07
Posts: 698
Loc: here, there and everywhere
Quoting: Ena
cross cultural marriages are hard but rewarding work.I think communication ( as in language differences) are the biggest problem, because it can be that you can't really get each others humour or whatever, so we have to meet halfway....I think also you kind of morph into your partner a bit-take on habits etc, and sometimes we forget that not everyone else gets what we are talking about or the meanings we understand very quickly etc.Can feel a bit disconnected at certain times. Ok-thats not a very good explanation, but hopefully you get the general gist of it :-)



Yep sooooooo true about this. First i find that western culture is much better, they have more appreciation with women in General. Western men are very attractive because they have more confident than asian men. I think confident is the key, when people are confident they become attractive and certainly more sexy. And western upbringng make the western guys very obvious if they sorrounded by asian men. In this way of course is not fair for the asian guys, but still it depends on their education and their brain... Different girls like different kind of guys, Every single person is different and have different preferences.

Some of my asian friends don't even attracted with western because they think western guys is too savage. But others like western and never dated any asians. Anyway... The worst part of having relationship wth western men, or personally for me is the language barrier. Even i speak english with him 24/7. There would be a time he doesn't get me.. especially if it involves an emotion. For me who has english as my second language, sometimes i just said whatever popped in in my head, and it can be very frustrating, like saying things i didn't really mean. Strong words, or 'not exactly' the words.. Without each other understanding it can be really hard.. Probably if you have western partner who also has english as a second language, it will be easier.

and i always said i am talking indo-lish

_________________________
bla bla bla






Top
#60462 - 06 Sep 07 09:30 Re: Eastern vs. Western [Re: emmajkt]
KuKuKaChu Moderator Offline
Pooh Bah

Registered: 09 Oct 05
Posts: 10790
Loc: Centre of the Universe
Quoting: emmajkt
The worst part of having relationship wth western men, or personally for me is the language barrier. Even i speak english with him 24/7. There would be a time he doesn't get me.. especially if it involves an emotion.


once you can really lose your temper in a second language, you know you have achieved a high degree of fluency smile

people often find that their second language deserts them when dealing with strong emotions! seems the brain cannot keep up with the feelings!

Quote:
and i always said i am talking indo-lish

your english is just fine.
_________________________
KuKuKaChu: dangerously too sophisticated

Top
#60464 - 06 Sep 07 10:19 Re: Eastern vs. Western [Re: KuKuKaChu]
Lulu Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 19 Feb 06
Posts: 2226
Loc: Indonesia
Quoting: KuKuKaChu


once you can really lose your temper in a second language, you know you have achieved a high degree of fluency smile



English is a very good languange for cursing....really...swear
_________________________
"The human heart feel things the eyes cannot see, and knows what the mind cannot understand"

Top
#60465 - 06 Sep 07 10:21 Re: Eastern vs. Western [Re: kenyeung]
Capt. Mainwaring Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 16 Aug 06
Posts: 3225
Loc: here
Quoting: kenyeung
I tend to avoid "east vs west", "indo vs bule" threads like ikan asin, but would like to hear more of your "complaints involving idiots in sydney", please Ena.

Thanks.


So would I.

I quite like nasi goreng ikan asin - but the ikan must be very asin.
_________________________
I also made a vegetarian version,with tempe and tofu chunks for myself and others.Get over it.
Kosong.Wolo.Setunggal.Setunggal.Setunggal.Kosong.Pitu.Setunggal.Kosong.Wolo=Tempik

Top
#60479 - 06 Sep 07 12:22 Re: Eastern vs. Western [Re: chewwyUK]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Quoting: chewwyUK
Women are like tiles. If you lay them right the first time then you can walk all over them for years wink

With that said I prefer Indonesian women. I like the fact they do not nag, never suffer from jealousy, will do as they are told and are happy to push the super market trolley.


You are such a lying twat on two particular part's of this post!

You know what I am talking about!
_________________________
Menace to Sobriety


Top
#60482 - 06 Sep 07 12:28 Re: Eastern vs. Western [Re: Dilli]
chewwyUK Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 14 Sep 06
Posts: 2392
Loc: Jakarta
I think you will probably find I am wrong on all accounts Dilli
_________________________
Edited by Piss Salon
Edit Reason: taste

Top
#60484 - 06 Sep 07 12:30 Re: Eastern vs. Western [Re: chewwyUK]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
I was referring to paragraphs in the post!
_________________________
Menace to Sobriety


Top
#60487 - 06 Sep 07 12:32 Re: Eastern vs. Western [Re: Dilli]
kenyeung Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 16 Apr 07
Posts: 2374
Loc: Indonesia
The only mistruth in that typically vapid post was the bit about women and tiles. The grout oozes out. Like a trail of toxic slug plasma.


Edited by kenyeung (06 Sep 07 12:37)

Top
#60491 - 06 Sep 07 12:39 Re: Eastern vs. Western [Re: kenyeung]
chewwyUK Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 14 Sep 06
Posts: 2392
Loc: Jakarta
we cant all have the brain the size of a planet marvin
_________________________
Edited by Piss Salon
Edit Reason: taste

Top
#60496 - 06 Sep 07 16:12 Re: Eastern vs. Western [Re: chewwyUK]
Queenie Offline
Member++

Registered: 06 Feb 07
Posts: 200
Loc: Earth
Quoting: chewwyUK
Women are like tiles. If you lay them right the first time then you can walk all over them for years wink

With that said I prefer Indonesian women. I like the fact they do not nag, never suffer from jealousy, will do as they are told and are happy to push the super market trolley.


Me, as a western i dont really care to push the super market trolley but when my hubby is with me he never let me, he says "thats men job..." and i just let him do it. But this is the mirror of his education, some westerm men r not like that, they just dont care and let woman push it...
_________________________
All the good things only last the necessary time to make it unforgettable...

Top
#60497 - 06 Sep 07 16:20 Re: Eastern vs. Western [Re: Queenie]
KuKuKaChu Moderator Offline
Pooh Bah

Registered: 09 Oct 05
Posts: 10790
Loc: Centre of the Universe
Quoting: Queenie
[quote=chewwyUK]Me, as a western i dont really care to push the super market trolley but when my hubby is with me he never let me, he says "thats men job..." and i just let him do it.

how humiliating! has he no shame?
_________________________
KuKuKaChu: dangerously too sophisticated

Top
#60498 - 06 Sep 07 16:22 Re: Eastern vs. Western [Re: emmajkt]
Queenie Offline
Member++

Registered: 06 Feb 07
Posts: 200
Loc: Earth
Quoting: emmajkt
Quoting: Ena
cross cultural marriages are hard but rewarding work.I think communication ( as in language differences) are the biggest problem, because it can be that you can't really get each others humour or whatever, so we have to meet halfway....I think also you kind of morph into your partner a bit-take on habits etc, and sometimes we forget that not everyone else gets what we are talking about or the meanings we understand very quickly etc.Can feel a bit disconnected at certain times. Ok-thats not a very good explanation, but hopefully you get the general gist of it :-)



Yep sooooooo true about this. First i find that western culture is much better, they have more appreciation with women in General. Western men are very attractive because they have more confident than asian men. I think confident is the key, when people are confident they become attractive and certainly more sexy. And western upbringng make the western guys very obvious if they sorrounded by asian men. In this way of course is not fair for the asian guys, but still it depends on their education and their brain... Different girls like different kind of guys, Every single person is different and have different preferences.

Some of my asian friends don't even attracted with western because they think western guys is too savage. But others like western and never dated any asians. Anyway... The worst part of having relationship wth western men, or personally for me is the language barrier. Even i speak english with him 24/7. There would be a time he doesn't get me.. especially if it involves an emotion. For me who has english as my second language, sometimes i just said whatever popped in in my head, and it can be very frustrating, like saying things i didn't really mean. Strong words, or 'not exactly' the words.. Without each other understanding it can be really hard.. Probably if you have western partner who also has english as a second language, it will be easier.

and i always said i am talking indo-lish



For what i know from Indo cuture seems indo guys dont care about the details, for western ppl the details are the most important, maybe thats why they are more confident, what indo thinks its not important, for western it is...

I agree with you about the language, its dificult to express ourself in other languages and sometimes we wanna say something waiting for a good reaction and when we see their reaction we r like... omg what have i said?? wierd but funny sometimes lol
well i talk about myself, my english sucks and sometimes i wanna say someting and got something completly diferent lol
_________________________
All the good things only last the necessary time to make it unforgettable...

Top
#60499 - 06 Sep 07 16:24 Re: Eastern vs. Western [Re: KuKuKaChu]
Queenie Offline
Member++

Registered: 06 Feb 07
Posts: 200
Loc: Earth
Quoting: KuKuKaChu
Quoting: Queenie
[quote=chewwyUK]Me, as a western i dont really care to push the super market trolley but when my hubby is with me he never let me, he says "thats men job..." and i just let him do it.

how humiliating! has he no shame?


lol no hehehe hes a nice guy, always treating me like a "queen" thats why i picked him to marry laugh

by the way you should do the same to your wifes :P
_________________________
All the good things only last the necessary time to make it unforgettable...

Top
#60545 - 06 Sep 07 22:26 Re: Eastern vs. Western [Re: chewwyUK]
Jokie Jokie Girl Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 07 Nov 05
Posts: 2552
Loc: Central Jakarta
Quoting: chewwyUK
Women are like tiles. If you lay them right the first time then you can walk all over them for years wink

With that said I prefer Indonesian women. I like the fact they do not nag, never suffer from jealousy, will do as they are told and are happy to push the super market trolley.


will do as they are told and are happy to push the super market trolley.

not me....I let my lovely men to push the super market trolley, and ofcourse he never let me do that wink
_________________________
"I am the Island girl, born with the humble life, eat on the floor with the right hand"

Top
#60566 - 07 Sep 07 06:44 Re: Eastern vs. Western [Re: Jokie Jokie Girl]
chewwyUK Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 14 Sep 06
Posts: 2392
Loc: Jakarta
It would seem there are more trolley pushers than I first imagined
_________________________
Edited by Piss Salon
Edit Reason: taste

Top
#60572 - 07 Sep 07 08:42 Re: Eastern vs. Western [Re: chewwyUK]
Orang Kanada Offline
Member*

Registered: 30 Sep 06
Posts: 621
Loc: Jakarta
Seriously Chewwy.... picture this:

1) Grocery shopping alone: 15 minutes

2) Grocery shopping with JJG: 1 hour

3) Grocery shopping with JJG pushing the trolley: God only knows 'coz I lose my freakin' mind and take control of the situation before my feet grows roots into the floor...

...and that reminds me one of the first questions I asked when I moved to Indonesia: why Indonesians furiously drive their cars like they should be already at work 1 hour ago but once they're on foot, I feel like I'm in a turtle convention...
_________________________
Spiderpig, spiderpig...

Top
#60586 - 07 Sep 07 12:12 Re: Eastern vs. Western [Re: Orang Kanada]
Roy's Hair Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 08 Nov 06
Posts: 3974
Loc: jakarta
Quoting: Orang Kanada
why Indonesians furiously drive their cars like they should be already at work 1 hour ago but once they're on foot, I feel like I'm in a turtle convention...


F**kin' move it!! Your blockin' the f***kin' doorway/ escalator! Shift your indolent buns I'm trying to get through!!


Edited by Roy's hair (07 Sep 07 12:13)
Edit Reason: Indo blockin doorway
_________________________
Chinese like more traditional patterns on their ring.

Top
#60594 - 07 Sep 07 14:30 Re: Eastern vs. Western [Re: kenyeung]
Ena Offline
Member*

Registered: 26 Nov 05
Posts: 765
Loc: Sydney
Quoting: kenyeung
I tend to avoid "east vs west", "indo vs bule" threads like ikan asin, but would like to hear more of your "complaints involving idiots in sydney", please Ena.

Thanks.

Well, if I start I might end up sounding very bitter....but
People tend to think that
1. Jakarta is in fact in a jungle somewhere , full of islamic terrorists hanging from the trees ready to kidnap white people...
2. They often will not understand " chinese indonesian" One colleague actually said "oh right -like indochina "..ummmm
3. If you marry a race other than your own people often feel compelled to comment on it..eg " so do you understand each other?, does it feel wierd to look different? did you have to covert to islam" " asian guys are really strict aren't they" " is he in the mafia"
ummmm..
Oh so do you cook asian food every night...I love fried rice, oh and jackie chan is so funny
ummmmm
And because I rarely mention the race of my husband in everyday conversations, people tend to say " oh why didn't you telllll me"
Why the f$ck would I TELL you???
I also had one colleague say to me
Your son is really good looking"
Thanks
"You must be really glad he didn't turn out really asian looking"
Hahaha. Like why would you even SAY that???
BTW this is based on people I have worked with over the years.

Edumacation didn't help everyone I'm afraid.
Mostly me..sighhhhhhh grin grin
_________________________
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=bIEOZCcaXzE

..take only what you need..

Top
#60613 - 07 Sep 07 18:24 Re: Eastern vs. Western [Re: Ena]
Roy's Hair Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 08 Nov 06
Posts: 3974
Loc: jakarta
Nothing wrong with Australia. Australian's on the other hand...
_________________________
Chinese like more traditional patterns on their ring.

Top
#60616 - 07 Sep 07 18:45 Re: Eastern vs. Western [Re: Roy's Hair]
kenyeung Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 16 Apr 07
Posts: 2374
Loc: Indonesia
Some of Australians I have meet was very judgmental, aggressive, narrow-minded racism persons. When I was in Bangkok, just before I get the sex change operation, is a group of Australians attack me because they think I am a gay.

Top
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 >


Moderator:  NetCop