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#58478 - 12 Aug 07 13:22 Jaksa Horror Story
riccardo Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 12 Oct 05
Posts: 2195
Loc: Jakarta
Disclaimer: this is second-hand gossip and subject to factual flaws depending on the 3 sources who told me.

A certain Jakarta-based Antipodean recently had the kind of fun that can only be had on Jalan Jaksa.

After a long lunch of free-flow alcohol at a nearby hotel, said Antipodean was according to eyewitnesses "way the fuck off his head" after several more drinks on Jalan Jaksa. Someone suggested he head home.

As he was about to leave Jalan Jaksa in the late afternoon, he was approached by the most hideous of local brain-damaged, 50-year-old ex-whores (a.k.a., MHLB-D50eW). Her advances were apparently too much to resist for our luckless Antipodean -- who admitted to not having had a love-making session in several months.

When his roommates found him (and photographed him), he was prone on the floor of their house with MHLB-D50eW waiting for him to regain consciousness so she could get paid.

He awoke, realized he had no cash, so took MHLB-D50eW to an ATM, whereupon she somehow managed to get his pin # and abscond with the card.

A couple of days later, our luckless Antipodean breaks out in a horrifying pustule-filled Rash From Hell, which oozes all up and down his legs -- and likely, though no eyewitnesses were willing to go there - into the groin region.

At least one photo will be appearing shortly.
_________________________
Just here proffering my pearls to swine, my throat to wolves and my trousers to the flagpole.

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#58497 - 12 Aug 07 17:43 Re: Jaksa Horror Story [Re: riccardo]
Capt. Mainwaring Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 16 Aug 06
Posts: 3225
Loc: here
Now, don't for one minute misunderstand me on this issue - I for one am quite happy to hear about such small misfortunes and of course if there is photographic evidence to go with it, then so much the better BUT do you think our viewers will appreciate such things - particularly in light of our PM from Oz?
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I also made a vegetarian version,with tempe and tofu chunks for myself and others.Get over it.
Kosong.Wolo.Setunggal.Setunggal.Setunggal.Kosong.Pitu.Setunggal.Kosong.Wolo=Tempik

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#58506 - 12 Aug 07 20:10 Re: Jaksa Horror Story [Re: Capt. Mainwaring]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
No I do not wnat to see, after all, at this point it's merely gossip!
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Menace to Sobriety


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#58519 - 12 Aug 07 20:59 Re: Jaksa Horror Story [Re: Dilli]
KuKuKaChu Moderator Offline
Pooh Bah

Registered: 09 Oct 05
Posts: 10790
Loc: Centre of the Universe
i want names, dates, and most of all, photos!
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KuKuKaChu: dangerously too sophisticated

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#58523 - 12 Aug 07 21:16 Re: Jaksa Horror Story [Re: KuKuKaChu]
kenyeung Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 16 Apr 07
Posts: 2374
Loc: Indonesia
If any of that is true, victim's identity is already crystal clear. His misery ought not be mocked, as he won't learn.

Not sure about "most hideous of local brain-damaged, 50-year-old ex-whores" though. The few brain-damaged ones are younger (and one is an American male). I should know, having been chief "granny shagger" on Jaksa.

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#58528 - 12 Aug 07 22:19 Re: Jaksa Horror Story [Re: kenyeung]
riccardo Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 12 Oct 05
Posts: 2195
Loc: Jakarta
Quoting: kenyeung
I should know, having been chief "granny shagger" on Jaksa.


Do tell...
_________________________
Just here proffering my pearls to swine, my throat to wolves and my trousers to the flagpole.

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#58683 - 13 Aug 07 23:17 Re: Jaksa Horror Story [Re: riccardo]
The Great Gonzo Offline
Member+

Registered: 13 Dec 06
Posts: 134
Loc: Big Durian
I thought that the one English Steve (Baldy... not Sunderland) was the chief granny shagger.... you know.. the one with the 70 year old girlfriend?
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"Oh, you're not so bad yourself, Cockface. Where are you two from? Nose City?"

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#58689 - 14 Aug 07 07:05 Re: Jaksa Horror Story [Re: The Great Gonzo]
kenyeung Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 16 Apr 07
Posts: 2374
Loc: Indonesia
I am also adept at posting boring, stupid, vulgar rubbbish.


Edited by kenyeung (14 Aug 07 09:17)

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#58692 - 14 Aug 07 07:48 Re: Jaksa Horror Story [Re: kenyeung]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
I understood that you were in competition with Piss on this subject.

He assured me that his mirkin made entirely from "granny pubes" was the finest in Jakarta!
_________________________
Menace to Sobriety


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#58761 - 14 Aug 07 16:19 Re: Jaksa Horror Story [Re: Dilli]
yourfather Offline
Member+

Registered: 10 Apr 07
Posts: 136
Loc: melbourne australia
so u wanna explain really whats goin on?

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#58769 - 14 Aug 07 18:05 Re: Jaksa Horror Story [Re: yourfather]
Choc_Cow Offline
Member**

Registered: 25 May 06
Posts: 1200
Loc: Di Puncak
is pustule-filled Rash actually clap? or something else?

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#58770 - 14 Aug 07 18:12 Re: Jaksa Horror Story [Re: Choc_Cow]
KuKuKaChu Moderator Offline
Pooh Bah

Registered: 09 Oct 05
Posts: 10790
Loc: Centre of the Universe
Quoting: Chocolatea
is pustule-filled Rash actually clap? or something else?

dunno, ask dilli. he knows all about that sort of stuff.
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KuKuKaChu: dangerously too sophisticated

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#58776 - 14 Aug 07 21:09 Re: Jaksa Horror Story [Re: KuKuKaChu]
Roy's Hair Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 08 Nov 06
Posts: 3974
Loc: jakarta
I actually took the photo of my chum's putative granny/ mentalist shagging session if anyone's interested. Be warned though - it'll put you off sex for life.

Poor chap's been receiving messages along the lines of,"Fuck you, you know fuck me no more, cock , tits, fuck off" around seventy times a day. She's clearly a few sticks short of a satay bungkus and came round the other day to wait outside our gate for three hours.


Edited by Roy's hair (14 Aug 07 21:11)
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Chinese like more traditional patterns on their ring.

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#58779 - 14 Aug 07 21:40 Re: Jaksa Horror Story [Re: Roy's Hair]
kenyeung Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 16 Apr 07
Posts: 2374
Loc: Indonesia
I strongly suggest you delete that photo, which I presume was taken with your mobile phone. Cyber bullying through mobile phones has emerged as a new phenomena, where vicious people send embarrassing images of their victims, who were merely passed out with what are known as "Happy slappers". A happy slapper gets the bule to pass out, then his mates film/photograph him with the mobile phone. The footage/image is then blue-toothed around the pub and internet chat-rooms, to the great humiliation of the hapless victim. I'm sure glad we didn't have mobiles when I was at school.

PS - Just send that photo to me before you delete it. thanks.


Edited by kenyeung (14 Aug 07 22:13)

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#58783 - 15 Aug 07 01:01 Re: Jaksa Horror Story [Re: Roy's Hair]
riccardo Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 12 Oct 05
Posts: 2195
Loc: Jakarta
Quoting: Roy's hair

Poor chap's been receiving messages along the lines of,"Fuck you, you know fuck me no more, cock , tits, fuck off" around seventy times a day.


I don't think I heard that part of the story, so you're saying that he gave her his HP#!? ... in addition to his pin#! Maybe the passport as well? Fooooockkkkk.

Anyway, in all seriousness, post that pic. That sweet Jewish fellow you sleep next to promised to send it but he seems to be technologically challenged.
_________________________
Just here proffering my pearls to swine, my throat to wolves and my trousers to the flagpole.

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#58799 - 15 Aug 07 09:09 Re: Jaksa Horror Story [Re: riccardo]
chewwyUK Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 14 Sep 06
Posts: 2392
Loc: Jakarta
For gods sake people ... what are you doing asking him to post the picture here???? Don't listen to them Roy .... I am sure it would be much better if it was published in JP with a nice little article about the dangers of sexual disease
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Edited by Piss Salon
Edit Reason: taste

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#58807 - 15 Aug 07 09:39 Re: Jaksa Horror Story [Re: chewwyUK]
Capt. Mainwaring Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 16 Aug 06
Posts: 3225
Loc: here
Quoting: chewwyUK
For gods sake people ... what are you doing asking him to post the picture here???? Don't listen to them Roy .... I am sure it would be much better if it was published in JP with a nice little article about the dangers of sexual disease


Apart from the obvious - shouldn't the caution be something about "Don't be a complete twat all of your life"

I'm really rather glad I don't have to subject myself to dealing with people like our friend on a day to day basis - and some of you guys have the cheek to say that Javanese can be kampungan.

I wonder what other diseases our friend caught?

Roy. do you really live in the same house as this guy?


Edited by Capt. Mainwaring (15 Aug 07 09:41)
Edit Reason: wondering who lives in a house like this? Over to you Roy.
_________________________
I also made a vegetarian version,with tempe and tofu chunks for myself and others.Get over it.
Kosong.Wolo.Setunggal.Setunggal.Setunggal.Kosong.Pitu.Setunggal.Kosong.Wolo=Tempik

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#58809 - 15 Aug 07 09:43 Re: Jaksa Horror Story [Re: Capt. Mainwaring]
chewwyUK Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 14 Sep 06
Posts: 2392
Loc: Jakarta
He is a very sound guy captain ... you would get on well with him. Obviously this was a very rare lapse in judgement
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Edited by Piss Salon
Edit Reason: taste

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#58820 - 15 Aug 07 10:14 Re: Jaksa Horror Story [Re: chewwyUK]
Roy's Hair Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 08 Nov 06
Posts: 3974
Loc: jakarta
Yes I live With Chr...I mean with the guy. Nice chap but can be scatty - hence she didn't nick his ATM card - he left it in the sodding machine when he went out early doors for to pay the scabby wench. That's about the fifth time he's done that. He was getting sixty missed calls a day from this hell cat loon at one point though...and the calls keep coming...


Edited by Roy's hair (15 Aug 07 10:18)
_________________________
Chinese like more traditional patterns on their ring.

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#58822 - 15 Aug 07 10:19 Re: Jaksa Horror Story [Re: Roy's Hair]
chewwyUK Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 14 Sep 06
Posts: 2392
Loc: Jakarta
When you say that it's the fifth time he has done that ... are you referring to leaving his card in the ATM or paying the "scabby wench" for her services?
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Edited by Piss Salon
Edit Reason: taste

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#58823 - 15 Aug 07 10:25 Re: Jaksa Horror Story [Re: chewwyUK]
Roy's Hair Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 08 Nov 06
Posts: 3974
Loc: jakarta
Sorry...I meant the card. The wench was a one off and he's rubbing Canestan on his running sores swearing to be a bit more discerning next time
_________________________
Chinese like more traditional patterns on their ring.

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#58824 - 15 Aug 07 10:26 Re: Jaksa Horror Story [Re: chewwyUK]
Capt. Mainwaring Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 16 Aug 06
Posts: 3225
Loc: here
It frightens me sometimes Chewwy - the risks people take with their lives - an associate of mine, to be only refered to as the Honey Monster also goes to bed with some pretty girls, but for some reason he wakes up with some right horrors- he too has had the odd runny nose but more frightenly a "proper" health scare just recently . He won't learn bless him.
_________________________
I also made a vegetarian version,with tempe and tofu chunks for myself and others.Get over it.
Kosong.Wolo.Setunggal.Setunggal.Setunggal.Kosong.Pitu.Setunggal.Kosong.Wolo=Tempik

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#58825 - 15 Aug 07 10:30 Re: Jaksa Horror Story [Re: Capt. Mainwaring]
Roy's Hair Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 08 Nov 06
Posts: 3974
Loc: jakarta
It's Casper the Ghost for me everytime. Always have plenty 'o' hats to wear, even go for the mid race tyre change pit stop.


Edited by Roy's hair (15 Aug 07 10:31)
_________________________
Chinese like more traditional patterns on their ring.

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#58826 - 15 Aug 07 10:31 Re: Jaksa Horror Story [Re: Capt. Mainwaring]
chewwyUK Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 14 Sep 06
Posts: 2392
Loc: Jakarta
yes --- 33 years on and not one single sexual disease for me. Mind you I think that more because lack of sex than "doing the right thing"
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Edited by Piss Salon
Edit Reason: taste

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#58827 - 15 Aug 07 10:31 Re: Jaksa Horror Story [Re: Capt. Mainwaring]
Capt. Mainwaring Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 16 Aug 06
Posts: 3225
Loc: here
Do you have to share the same bathroom then Roy?
_________________________
I also made a vegetarian version,with tempe and tofu chunks for myself and others.Get over it.
Kosong.Wolo.Setunggal.Setunggal.Setunggal.Kosong.Pitu.Setunggal.Kosong.Wolo=Tempik

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