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#57844 - 03 Aug 07 11:13 Urgently Need some Help & Advice
chewwyUK Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 14 Sep 06
Posts: 2392
Loc: Jakarta
I will soon be doing battle with a certain JC member in a game of Tennis. Given that I am a bit of a chubber, smoke, drink and have not played tennis for year, I am a little worried about how he will react when i kick his arse. Can anybody advise me on how i should handle the situation when he starts crying like a girl and begging me to take it easy on him?
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#57845 - 03 Aug 07 11:18 Re: Urgently Need some Help & Advice [Re: chewwyUK]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
"A bit of a chubber"?

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#57847 - 03 Aug 07 11:21 Re: Urgently Need some Help & Advice [Re: chewwyUK]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
"A bit of a chubber"?

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#57848 - 03 Aug 07 11:22 Re: Urgently Need some Help & Advice [Re: Dilli]
chewwyUK Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 14 Sep 06
Posts: 2392
Loc: Jakarta
okay so i am probably twice the man he is ...
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#57849 - 03 Aug 07 11:23 Re: Urgently Need some Help & Advice [Re: Dilli]
kenyeung Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 16 Apr 07
Posts: 2374
Loc: Indonesia
No worms to use as bait? No problem, just reel 'em in with your "bit of a chubber".

Urban Dictionary
1. Wicked Chubber: A semi-erect penis that will not go away.
Fuck, man, I had a wicked chubber last night!


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#57850 - 03 Aug 07 11:23 Re: Urgently Need some Help & Advice [Re: kenyeung]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
My point precisely Keny
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#57851 - 03 Aug 07 11:25 Re: Urgently Need some Help & Advice [Re: Dilli]
chewwyUK Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 14 Sep 06
Posts: 2392
Loc: Jakarta
a point your clearly felt you had to make twice dilli
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#57862 - 03 Aug 07 14:28 Re: Urgently Need some Help & Advice [Re: chewwyUK]
Choc_Cow Offline
Member**

Registered: 25 May 06
Posts: 1200
Loc: Di Puncak
please give a hint of which jc member you're going to beat @ tennis?

my suggestion: when he starts crying like a girl begging you to make it easy(is it dilli?), take a quick pic, kick his nuts & ask him to give you $1000 for the waste of time he caused. Then only then..still beat him anyway..

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#57863 - 03 Aug 07 14:30 Re: Urgently Need some Help & Advice [Re: Choc_Cow]
KuKuKaChu Moderator Offline
Pooh Bah

Registered: 09 Oct 05
Posts: 10790
Loc: Centre of the Universe
the winner will be the last one to die of stroke or heart failure.

silly old men.
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KuKuKaChu: dangerously too sophisticated

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#57864 - 03 Aug 07 15:16 Re: Urgently Need some Help & Advice [Re: KuKuKaChu]
chewwyUK Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 14 Sep 06
Posts: 2392
Loc: Jakarta
No not Dilli ..... he is so old i doubt he could even lift a tennis racket
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#57868 - 03 Aug 07 15:55 Re: Urgently Need some Help & Advice [Re: Dilli]
Capt. Mainwaring Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 16 Aug 06
Posts: 3225
Loc: here
Quoting: Dilli
"A bit of a chubber"?



Does that mean he is a bit of a lazy lob ? Would tie up with the tennis angle.
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I also made a vegetarian version,with tempe and tofu chunks for myself and others.Get over it.
Kosong.Wolo.Setunggal.Setunggal.Setunggal.Kosong.Pitu.Setunggal.Kosong.Wolo=Tempik

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#57923 - 05 Aug 07 14:23 Re: Urgently Need some Help & Advice [Re: Capt. Mainwaring]
chewwyUK Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 14 Sep 06
Posts: 2392
Loc: Jakarta
I am pleased to announce that no deaths or serious injuries were incured during this tennis match. While I almost retired hurt after the second point of the match by turning my ankle, I was able to push through the pain to dominate the first set 6-0. The second set proved more challenging as the black swirling spots started to appear. However driven on by fear I may die if the match went to a third set I drew on all my reserves to close out the second 6-4.

Unfortunately no weeping or begging was seen ... maybe next time
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#57924 - 05 Aug 07 14:30 Re: Urgently Need some Help & Advice [Re: chewwyUK]
KuKuKaChu Moderator Offline
Pooh Bah

Registered: 09 Oct 05
Posts: 10790
Loc: Centre of the Universe
where are the photos?!
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KuKuKaChu: dangerously too sophisticated

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#57951 - 06 Aug 07 09:48 Re: Urgently Need some Help & Advice [Re: KuKuKaChu]
chewwyUK Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 14 Sep 06
Posts: 2392
Loc: Jakarta
sadly this moment was not captured on film. Although who knows -- maybe next time! After long and intensive massage therapy last night I am pleased to report I have now achieved "minimum movement" in my legs.
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#58079 - 08 Aug 07 00:50 Re: Urgently Need some Help & Advice [Re: chewwyUK]
Piss Salon Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 27 Jun 06
Posts: 4039
Loc: Jakpus
Fine, I will confess. It was I who disgraced myself but only because of the following factors:

1) The poor bugger nearly went over on his ankle on the second point, so I threw the first few games to build up his confidence.

2) With the annoying rule in tennis that you have to swap ends periodically, I was left playing on a baseline covered in my opponents vast quantities of sweat and could not get a grip.

3) Having such a large man thunder towards you to reach your delicately placed drop shots is more than terrifying and entirely off-putting.

4) He purposely started hitting the balls around the complex and forced me to chase them, therefore causing me to fall into his cunning trap to sap my energy.

5) This isn’t entirely related, but he uses “Head and Shoulders” shampoo. I think this is related to the fact that he has no hair.

6) He uses Rexona Deodorant – Sensitive. Say no more. (And he had two bottles of the stuff.)

7) P.S. He refuses to place a bet on the next game.
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place within us love that truly gives, tenderness that truly unites, self-offering that tells the truth and does not deceive, forgiveness that truly receives, loving physical union that welcomes

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#58103 - 08 Aug 07 09:12 Re: Urgently Need some Help & Advice [Re: Piss Salon]
kenyeung Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 16 Apr 07
Posts: 2374
Loc: Indonesia
Me and my Jimmy Conner's signature racquet all those years in Jakarta and you never asked me for a game.

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#58125 - 08 Aug 07 15:03 Re: Urgently Need some Help & Advice [Re: kenyeung]
Piss Salon Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 27 Jun 06
Posts: 4039
Loc: Jakpus
You are too tall and athletic looking. Wanted my first victim to be more rotund. However, I should have gone for the chain-smoking, beer-swilling hippie.
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place within us love that truly gives, tenderness that truly unites, self-offering that tells the truth and does not deceive, forgiveness that truly receives, loving physical union that welcomes

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#58210 - 09 Aug 07 12:46 Re: Urgently Need some Help & Advice [Re: Piss Salon]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
last night I actually heard that the reason you lost was that you smoke too much and dont exercise....

She also said that will change when you are married....
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#58211 - 09 Aug 07 12:49 Re: Urgently Need some Help & Advice [Re: Dilli]
Piss Salon Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 27 Jun 06
Posts: 4039
Loc: Jakpus
I do about 18 hours of aerobics on various dancefloors each week. That's gotta count for something.

Plus it is a well known scientific fact that smoking and drinking increase heartrates, which is exactly what exercise does. Therefore, they must be the same.
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place within us love that truly gives, tenderness that truly unites, self-offering that tells the truth and does not deceive, forgiveness that truly receives, loving physical union that welcomes

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#58241 - 09 Aug 07 16:27 Re: Urgently Need some Help & Advice [Re: Piss Salon]
kenyeung Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 16 Apr 07
Posts: 2374
Loc: Indonesia
Quoting: Piss Salon
You are too tall and athletic looking. Wanted my first victim to be more rotund. However, I should have gone for the chain-smoking, beer-swilling hippie.


"chain-smoking, beer-swilling hippie" is the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me. Remind me that I still owe you for that dinner at the Incontinental. The one with the cheese-stealing Dutchman and the garrulous German. Whereupon leaving drunk, some New Zealander decided to take piss at the hotel entrance. And rather than wait for a cab on Sudirman, he leapt onto a passing bus and disappeared. Not just common, but ordinary.

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#58262 - 09 Aug 07 22:16 Re: Urgently Need some Help & Advice [Re: kenyeung]
Piss Salon Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 27 Jun 06
Posts: 4039
Loc: Jakpus
The bus. The bus. I forgot about the bus. You also missed out fight with gf, falling over in garden underbrush, 30-minute ojek ride to find the money to pay for meal, abuse of ojek driver, ojek driver taking off on me without waiting for payment and tramping mud through the restaurant.
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place within us love that truly gives, tenderness that truly unites, self-offering that tells the truth and does not deceive, forgiveness that truly receives, loving physical union that welcomes

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#58265 - 09 Aug 07 22:33 Re: Urgently Need some Help & Advice [Re: Piss Salon]
kenyeung Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 16 Apr 07
Posts: 2374
Loc: Indonesia
But they weren't all happy days. Like the time Pinky Tuscadero crashed her motorcycle, or the night I lost all my money to those card sharks and my dad Tom Bosley had to get it back.

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#58493 - 12 Aug 07 17:30 Re: Urgently Need some Help & Advice [Re: kenyeung]
yourfather Offline
Member+

Registered: 10 Apr 07
Posts: 136
Loc: melbourne australia
seriously... if this is the kinda shit you middle aged men get up to.

i'm thinking of trading in my boring 20 something year old friends.

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