Forums and Chat for Indonesia's English-speaking community
Topic Options
Rate This Topic
#57339 - 26 Jul 07 07:33 Marriage after One (or more) Failed One(s)
Shesca Offline
Member*

Registered: 12 Aug 06
Posts: 852
Loc: Jakarta
Those who were married before know what it took and the consequences. Yet we still want to give it another try. Some manage to make it a successful one and the last one, while for others its another (or even more) bitter pill they have to swallow. Some told me being married to anybody is the same. We will end up with the same shit anyway.
So my question is... what to do and not to do when it comes to giving the (supposedly) decision of the lifetime commitment another try.
_________________________
If you can't describe what you are doing as a process, you don't know what you're doing.

Top
#57341 - 26 Jul 07 07:38 Re: Marriage after One (or more) Failed One(s) [Re: Shesca]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Dont do it!

I've tried it twice and it sucks, but, I think, as the one on the forum who enjoys the taste of wedding cake that Kuku should be able to answer this one!
_________________________
Menace to Sobriety


Top
#57345 - 26 Jul 07 07:45 Re: Marriage after One (or more) Failed One(s) [Re: Dilli]
KuKuKaChu Moderator Offline
Pooh Bah

Registered: 09 Oct 05
Posts: 10790
Loc: Centre of the Universe
something that many people refuse to believe is that marriage relationships are not "forever". sure, some might last a long time, but in a biological sense they were never designed to endure more than 4-5 years; basically, the length of time required to raise a child to a survivable age.

ever hear of the 7-year itch? well, in fact, it's a 4-year itch.

so, when your marriage "fails", don't be too messed up about it. just find another partner. or more, as required. this is what nature intended.

_________________________
KuKuKaChu: dangerously too sophisticated

Top
#57346 - 26 Jul 07 07:50 Re: Marriage after One (or more) Failed One(s) [Re: KuKuKaChu]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Funnily enough I believe in that as well!
_________________________
Menace to Sobriety


Top
#57351 - 26 Jul 07 08:06 Re: Marriage after One (or more) Failed One(s) [Re: Dilli]
chewwyUK Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 14 Sep 06
Posts: 2392
Loc: Jakarta
being new to this wedding game I am kinda taking the idealistic approach and hope that things last forever
_________________________
Edited by Piss Salon
Edit Reason: taste

Top
#57353 - 26 Jul 07 08:08 Re: Marriage after One (or more) Failed One(s) [Re: chewwyUK]
KuKuKaChu Moderator Offline
Pooh Bah

Registered: 09 Oct 05
Posts: 10790
Loc: Centre of the Universe
Quoting: chewwyUK
being new to this wedding game I am kinda taking the idealistic approach and hope that things last forever

good grief. fucking hopeless romantic ...
_________________________
KuKuKaChu: dangerously too sophisticated

Top
#57354 - 26 Jul 07 08:12 Re: Marriage after One (or more) Failed One(s) [Re: KuKuKaChu]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
There is a sucker born every minute!
_________________________
Menace to Sobriety


Top
#57374 - 26 Jul 07 12:21 Re: Marriage after One (or more) Failed One(s) [Re: KuKuKaChu]
bonita Offline
Member+++

Registered: 15 Sep 06
Posts: 364
Loc: at my desk
Quoting: KuKuKaChu
ever hear of the 7-year itch? well, in fact, it's a 4-year itch.


Ooo, now I understand why my French teacher said the same thing.
_________________________
wo lamhe wo bateein koi na jaane...

Top
#57388 - 26 Jul 07 19:06 Re: Marriage after One (or more) Failed One(s) [Re: KuKuKaChu]
Shesca Offline
Member*

Registered: 12 Aug 06
Posts: 852
Loc: Jakarta
Quoting: KuKuKaChu
something that many people refuse to believe is that marriage relationships are not "forever". sure, some might last a long time, but in a biological sense they were never designed to endure more than 4-5 years; basically, the length of time required to raise a child to a survivable age.

ever hear of the 7-year itch? well, in fact, it's a 4-year itch.

so, when your marriage "fails", don't be too messed up about it. just find another partner. or more, as required. this is what nature intended.


Wow, my marriage last for 5 years.. Or is it a coincidence?
_________________________
If you can't describe what you are doing as a process, you don't know what you're doing.

Top
#57389 - 26 Jul 07 19:07 Re: Marriage after One (or more) Failed One(s) [Re: Dilli]
Shesca Offline
Member*

Registered: 12 Aug 06
Posts: 852
Loc: Jakarta
Quoting: Dilli
Dont do it!

I've tried it twice and it sucks, but, I think, as the one on the forum who enjoys the taste of wedding cake that Kuku should be able to answer this one!

Despite the fact that it ended, I prefer to be married than single. Or am I crazy...?
_________________________
If you can't describe what you are doing as a process, you don't know what you're doing.

Top
#57390 - 26 Jul 07 19:15 Re: Marriage after One (or more) Failed One(s) [Re: Shesca]
KuKuKaChu Moderator Offline
Pooh Bah

Registered: 09 Oct 05
Posts: 10790
Loc: Centre of the Universe
Quoting: Shesca
Quoting: KuKuKaChu

ever hear of the 7-year itch? well, in fact, it's a 4-year itch.

so, when your marriage "fails", don't be too messed up about it. just find another partner. or more, as required. this is what nature intended.


Wow, my marriage last for 5 years.. Or is it a coincidence?

no, it ain't a coincidence. trust me. i'm a sociologist. we know these things.
_________________________
KuKuKaChu: dangerously too sophisticated

Top
#57391 - 26 Jul 07 19:21 Re: Marriage after One (or more) Failed One(s) [Re: KuKuKaChu]
KuKuKaChu Moderator Offline
Pooh Bah

Registered: 09 Oct 05
Posts: 10790
Loc: Centre of the Universe
for a scholarly discussion of this, see http://jakchat.com/public/polygamy/4yearitch.htm
_________________________
KuKuKaChu: dangerously too sophisticated

Top
#57393 - 26 Jul 07 19:54 Re: Marriage after One (or more) Failed One(s) [Re: bonita]
Piss Salon Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 27 Jun 06
Posts: 4039
Loc: Jakpus
Quoting: bonita
Quoting: KuKuKaChu
ever hear of the 7-year itch? well, in fact, it's a 4-year itch.


Ooo, now I understand why my French teacher said the same thing.


It starts in the early teens as a four-second itch (though most of us had to relieve ourselves manually) and increases with age till marriage is forced upon us when we run out of things to talk about or want children. Hence, four-year itch, seven-year itch etc etc. Certain members of this forum, who I will not name for reasons of taste, have itches that can only be scratched when the blue pills kick in. Kuku is strange for a white man in that he has a four-wife itch, which, for most of us, is one of those annoying itches you can scratch.
_________________________
place within us love that truly gives, tenderness that truly unites, self-offering that tells the truth and does not deceive, forgiveness that truly receives, loving physical union that welcomes

Top
#57400 - 26 Jul 07 22:25 Re: Marriage after One (or more) Failed One(s) [Re: Shesca]
Traveller Offline
Member

Registered: 08 Jul 07
Posts: 20
Loc: Indonesia
Quoting: Shesca
So my question is... what to do and not to do when it comes to giving the (supposedly) decision of the lifetime commitment another try.


What to do is not to decide that this one is a lifetime commitment. Nothing is forever, the only certainty is the uncertainty. If it makes you happy, why not do it, as far as both agree that it may not last forever, everything will be easier and may add another happiness for both.
_________________________
Travie

Top
#57401 - 26 Jul 07 22:29 Re: Marriage after One (or more) Failed One(s) [Re: Traveller]
Traveller Offline
Member

Registered: 08 Jul 07
Posts: 20
Loc: Indonesia
Indonesian song:

Engkau bukan yang pertama tapi pasti yang terakhir.....

Thats wrong! The right one is:

Engkau bukan yang pertama juga bukan yang terakhir....

You only can sing the first lyric when you are dying.
_________________________
Travie

Top
#57409 - 27 Jul 07 07:22 Re: Marriage after One (or more) Failed One(s) [Re: Traveller]
doremi Offline
Member+++

Registered: 17 Jan 07
Posts: 488
Loc: slouch couch
Quoting: Traveller
Indonesian song:

Engkau bukan yang pertama tapi pasti yang terakhir.....

Thats wrong! The right one is:

Engkau bukan yang pertama juga bukan yang terakhir....

You only can sing the first lyric when you are dying.


For me the lyric should be:
Engkau yg pertama dan juga yg terakhir...(damn good) I am enjoying it even after all those years, forever...I am working on forever.

Shes, your prince charming is waiting for you. You may have to kiss lots of frogs...


Top
#57414 - 27 Jul 07 07:40 Re: Marriage after One (or more) Failed One(s) [Re: doremi]
emmajkt Offline
Member*

Registered: 02 Mar 07
Posts: 698
Loc: here, there and everywhere
Marriage is a scary thought, i see everybody around me getting marry. Some happy some not.

It is need a lot of thinking, it takes years to really know the one that we think we love. There are so many things we have to consider before decide to tight the knot. I just believe everbody will change with time. The question is will you wanna be with the person in the next ten years, when there would be less chemistry and romance.

There's no marriage happiliy ever after, when you decided to marry someone, its like giving some space to another life. Fusion of two different world. Its a hard work, especially coming from different background.

Marriage is not important, why should make everything complicated if you already happy. If you have kids, its a different story
_________________________
bla bla bla






Top


Moderator:  NetCop