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#55531 - 04 Jul 07 12:02 Sporting Nicknames
riccardo Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 12 Oct 05
Posts: 2195
Loc: Jakarta
Chris Berman is arguably the best sports commentator in America over the last 15+ years. He's hilarious and weird and makes up nicknames for sportsmen on the spot and then they stick.

Here are a few documented ones, with the explanations for those of you who may require them -- better if you don't.

Baseball

* Roberto "Remember the" Alomar - play on "Remember the Alamo")
* Kevin "Small Mouth" Bass
* Jeff "Brown Paper" Bagwell
* Bert "Be Home" Blyleven - play on "be home by eleven"; reportedly a favorite of many Major League Baseball players
* Wade "Cranberry" Boggs
* Scott "Supercalifragilisticexpiali-" Brosius - Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
* Ron "Born in the U.S." Cey - Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the U.S.A."
* Jose "Caribbean" Cruz - or any other play on the "Cruise" homonym for any player named Cruz
* Jose "Won't You Let Me Take You on a Sea" Cruz - from a 1950s song
* Karim "Of The Crop" Garcia (play on the expression "cream of the crop")
* "Nomar Mr. Nice Guy" Garciaparra (a takeoff of the phrase "no more mister nice guy")
* Barry "U.S." Bonds - rock performer Gary "U.S." Bonds
* Jim "Two Silhouettes on" Deshaies (classic oldies song Silhouettes)
* Dwight "Johnny B." Gooden - Chuck Berry's "Johnny B. Goode"
* Von "Purple" Hayes - play on "purple haze"
* Dave "Harry and the" Henderson
* LaMarr "Where Does It" Hoyt - play on "where does it hurt"
* Chuck "New Kids on" Knoblauch -group New Kids on the Block
* John "I am not a" Kruk - President Richard Nixon's infamous comment
* Oddibe "Young Again" McDowell - play on "oh to be young again, one of the few nicknames using a player's first name instead of his/her last
* "Me And Willie McGee" - Janis Joplin song "Me and Bobby McGee" (words and music by Kris Kristofferson)
* Fred "The Crime Dog" McGriff - McGruff the Crime Dog
* Mark "Eve of Destruction" McGwire - Barry McGuire's "Eve of Destruction"
* Eddie "Eat, Drink, and Be" Murray - play on "eat, drink, and be merry"
* Ken "Good Evening Mister" Phelps - catchphrase from Mission: Impossible
* Mike "Pepperoni" Piazza - pepperoni pizza
* Kirby "Union Gap" Puckett - Gary Puckett & The Union Gap
* Albert "Winnie the" Pujols - Winnie the Pooh
* Tim "Purple" Raines - Prince's Purple Rain
* Dave "Prince" Righetti - brand of spaghetti
* Jose "Blame it on" Rijo - movie Blame It on Rio
* Tom "Leave it to" Seaver - TV sitcom Leave it to Beaver
* Gary Sheffield "of Dreams" - baseball movie, Field of Dreams
* Sammy "Say It Ain't" Sosa - Shoeless Joe Jackson, started when Sosa was caught with a corked bat
* Frank Tanana "Daiquiri" - mixed drink, Banana Daiquiri
* Miguel "Tejada they come.....Tejada they fall" - (a takeoff of the phrase "The harder they come the harder they fall")
* Manny "Kingston" Trillo - The Kingston Trio
* Todd "Snap, Crackle," Van Poppel - reference to Rice Krispies
* Robin Ventura "Highway" - America's "Ventura Highway"
* Gary "Hospital" Ward
* Geoff "Wrath of" Zahn - movie Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

Chris Berman - Football

* David "Green" Akers - a reference to the 1960's TV comedy show Green Acres
* Shaun "Alexander's Ragtime Marching Band" - reference to an old Irving Berlin song.
* Mike "You're in good hands with" Alstott - slogan for Allstate insurance
* Eric "Sleeping with" Bienemy - The movie Sleeping with the Enemy
* Matt "Werewolves of" Blundin - reference to Warren Zevon song "Werewolves of London"
* Tom "Here's the story of a man named" Brady - reference to the theme song to The Brady Bunch
* "The Reverend" Isaac Bruce
* Tedy "Ice Cold" Bruschi - a reference to a cold beer (or "brewski")
* Marc "Ray" Bulger - a reference to actor Ray Bolger who played the scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz, usually accompanied with a few lines of the scarecrow song
* Matt "White" Cassel - White Castle fast food chain
* Chris Chambers - after the Miami Dolphins wide receiver makes a catch, Berman exclaims "Time Has Come Today!" This is a reference to The Chambers Brothers song.
* Ben "Winter" Coates - "Winter coat"
* Jose "Baby" Cortez - reference to musician Dave "Baby" Cortez
* Alge "Cinnamon" Crumpler
* Karlos "Tiny" Dansby - reference to Elton John song "Tiny Dancer"
* Jake "Daylight Come and You Gotta" Delhomme - reference to a line from Harry Belafonte's "Banana Boat Song"
* Willie "Soviet" Drewery - Soviet Jewry
* Warrick "Well" Dunn
* Tim Dwight "Good Night"
* Kevin "Slicin" Dyson
* "Marshall Marshall Marshall" Faulk - parody of phrase "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia" from The Brady Bunch
* Christian "Eu" Fauria - "euphoria"
* Jeff "Philadelphia" Feagles (Feagles actually did play for the Eagles at one point in his career)
* Jay "See Me" Feely Kicky Goody - sung to the tune "See Me Feel Me" by The Who
* A.J. "Touchy" Feeley
* Jay Fiedler "on the roof" - parody of Fiddler on the Roof
* "Werewolves of" London Fletcher - reference to Warren Zevon song "Werewolves of London"
* Deshaun "Bananas" Foster
* Samkon "In" Gado "We Trust"- twist on the motto of the United States of America
* Rich "Loose" Gannon- Gannon rhymes with cannon, hint loose cannon which also explains his arm
* Robbie "Solid" Gould- Reference to TV show Solid Gold
* "Starvin" Marvin Harrison - reference to the gas station chain
* Joe "don't bother me, I'm on the" Horn - reference to his 2003 end zone celebration where he pulled a cell phone (horn) from under a goalpost
* "Temple" Bethel Johnson - Many Jewish temples go by the name Temple Beth-El
* "Grandmama" Larry Johnson - a reference to the basketball player of the same name who starred in a commercial where he dressed up as an old lady.
* Pacman Jones - any NFL Primetime highlight featuring Jones, Berman and co-host Tom Jackson make sound effects from the popular video game Pac-Man. Note that this nickname is not a Berman creation, as Jones had that nickname at West Virginia University, and possibly earlier.
* John Kasay "at the foot" - parody of poem "Casey at the Bat"
* Jon Kitna "Kaboodle" - reference to the phrase "the whole kit and kaboodle"
* Sean "Personal" Landeta
* Ty "I fought the" Law "and the law won" - reference to Sonny Curtis and The Clash song "I Fought the Law"
* Curtis "My Favorite" Martin - TV sitcom My Favorite Martian
* Josh "Tears of" McCown - Smokey Robinson and the Miracles' song "The Tears of a Clown", often accompanied with a line of the song.
* Luke "Send in" McCown (Josh McCown's brother) - Stephen Sondheim song "Send in the Clowns"
* Natrone "Refried" Means
* Rick "No Time to Wallow in the" Mirer - line from The Doors hit "Light My Fire"
* Mike "After Dinner" Minter
* "Waltzing" Mewelde Moore - the song "Waltzing Matilda"
* Christian "The Nigerian Nightmare" Okoye
* Da Da Da Da Da... Heeeere's Carson (Carson Palmer) - parody of the introduction to the The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson
* Doug "Bats in the" Pelfrey - expression "bats in the belfry"
* Ricky Proehl "Shampoo" - reference to Prell shampoo
* Andre "Bad Moon" Rison - expression "bad moon rising"; also a reference to the Creedence Clearwater Revival song "Bad Moon Rising"
* Samari "Shake, Rattle, N" Rolle
* Sage "Drew" Rosenfels - reference to sports agent Drew Rosenhaus
* Sean Salisbury "Steak"
* Lance "Sergeant" Schulters - reference to Hogan's Heroes character Sgt. Schultz
* Lito "Whoa-ohhh" Sheppard - referencing the lyric to the Boz Scaggs song "Lido Shuffle"
* George "Iced" Teague - "Iced Tea"
* Steve "A Tisker a" Tasker - reference to A Tisket a Tasket
* "The well-dressed" Amani Toomer - reference to upscale clothing brand Armani. Another variation is Amani "It's Not A" Toomer. Refers to Arnold Schwarzenegger quote from film Kindergarten Cop
* Michael Turner "Overdrive" - reference to Bachman-Turner Overdrive.
* Rob "My" Bironas - reference to the song "My Sharona".
* Reggie "Bruce" Wayne to the batcave - reference to the Batman series
* Dom Dom Dom, Dom Be Dooby Dom Dom Dom (Dom Capers) - reference to the Clarence E. Quick pop song. Berman has also used the popular beginning to the theme of Dragnet, after a Houston Texans loss.
* Hey you get off of (Mike Cloud) - reference to the Rolling Stones song
* Jed "Friedman" Weaver - reference to Brooklyn icon Jedediah Friedman.
* Troy Brown and his Band of Renown - reference to Les Brown and his Band of Renown, a swing band for over 50 years.
_________________________
Just here proffering my pearls to swine, my throat to wolves and my trousers to the flagpole.

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#55532 - 04 Jul 07 13:29 Re: Sporting Nicknames [Re: riccardo]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Could not resist this one!


Edited by riccardo (04 Jul 07 21:40)
Edit Reason: reminded me of my mother

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#55533 - 04 Jul 07 13:47 Re: Sporting Nicknames [Re: Dilli]
Capt. Mainwaring Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 16 Aug 06
Posts: 3225
Loc: here
Absolutely rib-splittingly hilarious Riccardo - it only further underlines the chasm that divides American "humor" and English humour .

That is about as funny as a lorry full of dead babies .
_________________________
I also made a vegetarian version,with tempe and tofu chunks for myself and others.Get over it.
Kosong.Wolo.Setunggal.Setunggal.Setunggal.Kosong.Pitu.Setunggal.Kosong.Wolo=Tempik

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#55548 - 04 Jul 07 21:20 Re: Sporting Nicknames [Re: Capt. Mainwaring]
riccardo Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 12 Oct 05
Posts: 2195
Loc: Jakarta
Quoting: Capt. Mainwaring
Absolutely rib-splittingly hilarious Riccardo - it only further underlines the chasm that divides American "humor" and English humour .


Ya well, the joke is on you then. All of the somewhat switched-on Americans can happily enjoy both kinds of humor, they don't get their knickers in a bunch about it, they don't get all patriotic and nationalistic about it, they just laugh if they feel it's funny.

Nonetheless, the thing that y'all miss with these written Chris Berman quips is his dry, witty, perfectly timed delivery, which even David Letterman is envious of... It'll be the middle of a crucial game, a crucial play and he'll just come out with "...oh my, a big crushing tackle by Teddy 'Ice Cold' Bruschi to save the game..." It's all in the placement and delivery and just catching fans at their most intense moment, and he tosses in his deadpanned delivery of his newly coined nickname that just works to a T as you are chugging down an Icy Cold Brewskie....

Very much one of those "you had to be there" kind of thing. And it sort of requires that you like sports, which, strangely, very few Jakchatters do, with the exception of Chewwy and his Wolves.
_________________________
Just here proffering my pearls to swine, my throat to wolves and my trousers to the flagpole.

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#55549 - 04 Jul 07 21:36 Re: Sporting Nicknames [Re: riccardo]
riccardo Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 12 Oct 05
Posts: 2195
Loc: Jakarta
oh yeah, it also helps if you remember really silly classic 60s-70s TV sitcoms:

Tom "Here's the story of a man named" Brady
Geoff "Wrath of" Zahn
Tom "Leave it to" Seaver
Ken "Good Evening Mister" Phelps

Or songs from the 60s-70s:

Rick "No Time to Wallow in the" Mirer
Jim "Two Silhouettes on" Deshaies
Dwight "Johnny B." Gooden
Von "Purple" Hayes
Mark "Eve of Destruction" McGwire

Or famous quotes from corrupt presidents:
John "I am not a" Kruk

Or really bad Canadian boy bands:

Chuck "New Kids on" Knoblauch
_________________________
Just here proffering my pearls to swine, my throat to wolves and my trousers to the flagpole.

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#55552 - 04 Jul 07 22:14 Re: Sporting Nicknames [Re: riccardo]
Capt. Mainwaring Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 16 Aug 06
Posts: 3225
Loc: here
Quoting: riccardo
Quoting: Capt. Mainwaring
Absolutely rib-splittingly hilarious Riccardo - it only further underlines the chasm that divides American "humor" and English humour .


Ya well, the joke is on you then. All of the somewhat switched-on Americans can happily enjoy both kinds of humor, they don't get their knickers in a bunch about it, they don't get all patriotic and nationalistic about it, they just laugh if they feel it's funny.

Very much one of those "you had to be there" kind of thing. And it sort of requires that you like sports, which, strangely, very few Jakchatters do, with the exception of Chewwy and his Wolves.


One has to laugh - "all of the somewhat switched-on Americans" - that narrows it down somewhat eh ? you don't get many of those .

Where do you get the "patriot" angle from ? It just wasn't funny - and "if you had to be there" then you posting it is a bit benign , again the only reason I mention it is you saw fit to delete a number of postings based upon the fact that the postings didn't agree with your way of thinking .

If you think your post was dry humour then most English humour must be powdered.
_________________________
I also made a vegetarian version,with tempe and tofu chunks for myself and others.Get over it.
Kosong.Wolo.Setunggal.Setunggal.Setunggal.Kosong.Pitu.Setunggal.Kosong.Wolo=Tempik

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#55553 - 04 Jul 07 22:30 Re: Sporting Nicknames [Re: Capt. Mainwaring]
flingwing Offline
Member++

Registered: 28 May 07
Posts: 188
Loc: Jakarta
Ah yes! Some examples of the finest in British humour (i.e., humor)
-------------------------------------

AMUSING SIGNS
Sign in a London department store: Bargain basement upstairs.

In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.

In an office: After tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

English sign in a German cafe: Mothers, please wash your hands before eating.

Outside a secondhand shop: We exchange anything--bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.

Sign outside a new town hall to be opened by the Prince of Wales: The town hall is closed until opening. It will remain closed after being opened. Open tomorrow.

Outside a photographer's studio: Out to lunch: if not back by five, out for dinner also.

Seen at the side of a Sussex road: Slow cattle crossing, no overtaking for the next 100 yrs.

Outside a disco: Smart is the most exclusive disco in town, everyone welcome.

Sign warning of quicksand: Quicksand, any person passing this point will be drowned, by order of the district council.

Notice sent to residents of a Wiltshire parish: Due to increasing problems with the letter louts and vandals, we must ask anyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep them in order.

Notice in a dry cleaner's window: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

Sign on motorway garage: Please do not smoke near our petrol pumps. Your life may not be worth much but our petrol is.

Spotted in a safari park: Elephants, please stay in your car.

Seen during a conference: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor.

Notice in a field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.

Message on a leaflet: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.

Sign on a repair shop door: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door, the bell doesn't work.)

Spotted in a toilet in a London office block: Toilet out of order please use floor below.

-------------------------------------

Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman were in a pub, talking about their sons. My son was born on St George's Day," commented the English man. "So we obviously decided to call him George" "That's a real coincidence," remarked the Scot.

"My son was born on St Andrew's Day, so obviously we decided to call him Andrew."

"That's incredible, what a coincidence, "said the Irishman. "Exactly the same thing happened with my son Pancake."

-------------------------------------

You know you've been in UK too long when . . .

* You believe that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are all good nights for drinking. Sunday day is also entirely reasonable.

* You have given up complaining about the Victorian banking services offered in the UK.

* You have given up explaining why you are half an hour late to work as no-one notices or cares.

* Coming to work with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed expected at least once a week.

* You can actually give directions to some of those annoying tourists in Oxford Street!

* You actually step over a drunk in the tube station rather than offering to help them.

* You don't even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the day is like. You know it is overcast.

* You consider a suit to be normal attire for the pub.

* You expect men to actually cut, comb and style their hair (using hair products). And to wear decent clothes. Jeans and a T-shirt are no longer socially acceptable.

* You dissolve in laughter when listening to the funny accent of the Aussie international telephone operator (or on TV!).

* You think 40 pounds sterling for a haircut is quite reasonable.

* You have stopped calling people 'a dag' because you don't want to have to explain it.

* You can't remember what 'customer service' means.

* After a big night out you find yourself looking for a Curry house, and not a 24-hour McDonalds.
FW Note: why does this sound like it was written for Brits in Jakarta?

* More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive.

* You don't think twice about tipping your hairdresser

* You finish every sentence with 'Cheers' or 'Yeah'.

* You only just realise you have lost your sunnies; you left them in Greece two summers ago.

* You start thinking English cuisine isn't all that bad after all, I mean, it's hard to beat a full English breakfast.

* You are on to your 6th umbrella and your second overcoat.

* A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn't even enter your head.

* You don't think twice about buying a packaged sandwich.

* A sunny lunchtime means searching for a patch of grass and stripping off practically down to your underwear

* You start to accept queuing as a way of life.

* You actually say, 'Sor'ed'.

-----ooo-------

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#55563 - 05 Jul 07 00:32 Re: Sporting Nicknames [Re: Capt. Mainwaring]
riccardo Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 12 Oct 05
Posts: 2195
Loc: Jakarta
Quoting: Capt. Mainwaring


One has to laugh - "all of the somewhat switched-on Americans" - that narrows it down somewhat eh ? you don't get many of those .

Where do you get the "patriot" angle from ? It just wasn't funny - and "if you had to be there" then you posting it is a bit benign , again the only reason I mention it is you saw fit to delete a number of postings based upon the fact that the postings didn't agree with your way of thinking .

If you think your post was dry humour then most English humour must be powdered.


You really are sad and miserable Pvt Whingemeister. What does it take for you to realize that some posts are just simply not your cup of tea and thus not something you understand or want to know about... AND that you just don't have any business commenting on these types of things. Ever heard of the expression "none of your fucking business..."? Move on and find something else interesting in your life. This thread is for men. Men who dig sports and humor. You are obviously none of the above. If one happens to be a N. American sports fan or spent time there, they get it even more... and you don't, and never will. Nothing more to it, so just move along.

And, of course, you ARE lying your ass off -- once again -- in your childish, crude way of trying to defame and slander people (me, in this instance). The only deletion was the massive .gif image of a hideous fat woman that took ages to load and had nothing to do with anything on this thread, but wasn't offensive to me or anyone else. If that sort of woman is your cup of tea, ask Dill to send you a copy so you can do what you need to do with it.
_________________________
Just here proffering my pearls to swine, my throat to wolves and my trousers to the flagpole.

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#55774 - 07 Jul 07 15:12 Re: Sporting Nicknames [Re: riccardo]
Capt. Mainwaring Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 16 Aug 06
Posts: 3225
Loc: here
For such a wanker you really do have an overated opinion of yourself .

What the fuck is this "AND that you just don't have any business commenting on these types of things. Ever heard of the expression "none of your fucking business..."?"

You boil your head - I'll comment on what I like, or the more to annoy you .

Completely typical of the stereotypical childish American - toys out of the pram when you don't get your way .

What was it you deleted in the shoutbox yesterday Riccardo ?
Remind me ?
_________________________
I also made a vegetarian version,with tempe and tofu chunks for myself and others.Get over it.
Kosong.Wolo.Setunggal.Setunggal.Setunggal.Kosong.Pitu.Setunggal.Kosong.Wolo=Tempik

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#55776 - 07 Jul 07 15:18 Re: Sporting Nicknames [Re: Capt. Mainwaring]
Capt. Mainwaring Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 16 Aug 06
Posts: 3225
Loc: here
Something to appeal to your sense of "humor"

http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/teletubbies/
_________________________
I also made a vegetarian version,with tempe and tofu chunks for myself and others.Get over it.
Kosong.Wolo.Setunggal.Setunggal.Setunggal.Kosong.Pitu.Setunggal.Kosong.Wolo=Tempik

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#55777 - 07 Jul 07 15:23 Re: Sporting Nicknames [Re: flingwing]
Capt. Mainwaring Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 16 Aug 06
Posts: 3225
Loc: here
Quoting: flingwing
Ah yes! Some examples of the finest in British humour (i.e., humor)
-------------------------------------

AMUSING SIGNS
Sign in a London department store: Bargain basement upstairs.

In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.

In an office: After tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

English sign in a German cafe: Mothers, please wash your hands before eating.

Outside a secondhand shop: We exchange anything--bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.

Sign outside a new town hall to be opened by the Prince of Wales: The town hall is closed until opening. It will remain closed after being opened. Open tomorrow.

Outside a photographer's studio: Out to lunch: if not back by five, out for dinner also.

Seen at the side of a Sussex road: Slow cattle crossing, no overtaking for the next 100 yrs.

Outside a disco: Smart is the most exclusive disco in town, everyone welcome.

Sign warning of quicksand: Quicksand, any person passing this point will be drowned, by order of the district council.

Notice sent to residents of a Wiltshire parish: Due to increasing problems with the letter louts and vandals, we must ask anyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep them in order.

Notice in a dry cleaner's window: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

Sign on motorway garage: Please do not smoke near our petrol pumps. Your life may not be worth much but our petrol is.

Spotted in a safari park: Elephants, please stay in your car.

Seen during a conference: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor.

Notice in a field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.

Message on a leaflet: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.

Sign on a repair shop door: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door, the bell doesn't work.)

Spotted in a toilet in a London office block: Toilet out of order please use floor below.

-------------------------------------

Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman were in a pub, talking about their sons. My son was born on St George's Day," commented the English man. "So we obviously decided to call him George" "That's a real coincidence," remarked the Scot.

"My son was born on St Andrew's Day, so obviously we decided to call him Andrew."

"That's incredible, what a coincidence, "said the Irishman. "Exactly the same thing happened with my son Pancake."

-------------------------------------

You know you've been in UK too long when . . .

* You believe that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are all good nights for drinking. Sunday day is also entirely reasonable.

* You have given up complaining about the Victorian banking services offered in the UK.

* You have given up explaining why you are half an hour late to work as no-one notices or cares.

* Coming to work with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed expected at least once a week.

* You can actually give directions to some of those annoying tourists in Oxford Street!

* You actually step over a drunk in the tube station rather than offering to help them.

* You don't even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the day is like. You know it is overcast.

* You consider a suit to be normal attire for the pub.

* You expect men to actually cut, comb and style their hair (using hair products). And to wear decent clothes. Jeans and a T-shirt are no longer socially acceptable.

* You dissolve in laughter when listening to the funny accent of the Aussie international telephone operator (or on TV!).

* You think 40 pounds sterling for a haircut is quite reasonable.

* You have stopped calling people 'a dag' because you don't want to have to explain it.

* You can't remember what 'customer service' means.

* After a big night out you find yourself looking for a Curry house, and not a 24-hour McDonalds.
FW Note: why does this sound like it was written for Brits in Jakarta?

* More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive.

* You don't think twice about tipping your hairdresser

* You finish every sentence with 'Cheers' or 'Yeah'.

* You only just realise you have lost your sunnies; you left them in Greece two summers ago.

* You start thinking English cuisine isn't all that bad after all, I mean, it's hard to beat a full English breakfast.

* You are on to your 6th umbrella and your second overcoat.

* A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn't even enter your head.

* You don't think twice about buying a packaged sandwich.

* A sunny lunchtime means searching for a patch of grass and stripping off practically down to your underwear

* You start to accept queuing as a way of life.

* You actually say, 'Sor'ed'.

-----ooo-------


Why not just post the link ?

http://www.uksignboards.com/viewtopic.php?p=220676

And you still don't understand it.




_________________________
I also made a vegetarian version,with tempe and tofu chunks for myself and others.Get over it.
Kosong.Wolo.Setunggal.Setunggal.Setunggal.Kosong.Pitu.Setunggal.Kosong.Wolo=Tempik

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#55778 - 07 Jul 07 15:27 Re: Sporting Nicknames [Re: Capt. Mainwaring]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Can I post the fat lady again please!
_________________________
Menace to Sobriety


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#55779 - 07 Jul 07 15:28 Re: Sporting Nicknames [Re: Capt. Mainwaring]
Capt. Mainwaring Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 16 Aug 06
Posts: 3225
Loc: here
* Scott "Supercalifragilisticexpiali-" Brosius -A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Sorry, it is just so fucking imbecilic I have to post it.
_________________________
I also made a vegetarian version,with tempe and tofu chunks for myself and others.Get over it.
Kosong.Wolo.Setunggal.Setunggal.Setunggal.Kosong.Pitu.Setunggal.Kosong.Wolo=Tempik

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#55780 - 07 Jul 07 15:31 Re: Sporting Nicknames [Re: Dilli]
Capt. Mainwaring Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 16 Aug 06
Posts: 3225
Loc: here
Quoting: Dilli
Can I post the fat lady again please!


Don't upset him whatever you do- you've been telt .
_________________________
I also made a vegetarian version,with tempe and tofu chunks for myself and others.Get over it.
Kosong.Wolo.Setunggal.Setunggal.Setunggal.Kosong.Pitu.Setunggal.Kosong.Wolo=Tempik

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#55782 - 07 Jul 07 15:33 Re: Sporting Nicknames [Re: Capt. Mainwaring]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
How about a real Daily Record Sports Headline

SuperCalleyarefantasticCelticwereattrocious"

After Glasgow Celtic were gubbed by Inverness Caledonian
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#55830 - 08 Jul 07 12:16 worth less than a truckload of dead rats in a tampon factory [Re: Capt. Mainwaring]
kenyeung Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 16 Apr 07
Posts: 2374
Loc: Indonesia
Quoting: Capt. Mainwaring
a lorry full of dead babies.


Culture is all very well, but I fear that serious efforts are afoot to undermine Australia's image as a nation of foul-mouthed, boorish, beer-swilling yobs.

Example, the weekend newspaper's magazine has an article on beer, which mentions:

Quote:
Redoak Special Reserve, a dark ale fermented three times and matured in oak for more than two years... A modest 250ml glass of the Special Reserve costs $49.50 but, like a fortified wine, this is a beer for savouring. "Rich beers with high alcohol content are slow sippers," says Watson. "You don't drink them by the pint. It would be like drinking a pint of vintage port at a time, or a pint of supremely fine whisky."


Strike! What is happening to Australia?

Quote:
"What distinguishes Redoak’s Special Reserve is that it has gone through three fermentations and is matured on various types of oak for over 2 years which adds a unique dimension and complexity to the beer.

Special Reserve Brewer’s tasting notes - It has a lovely aroma of alcohol with hints of vanilla. There is a sweet light maltiness on the palate which dominates the palate initially then dissipates as the flavour of vanilla comes forth and then explodes leaving an ‘exotic liquer-like’ finish. The beer is served in a custom-made crystal goblet to enhance the oak aromas, release the alcohol and develop the full flavours."


For shame, etc.

Thanks.


Edited by kenyeung (08 Jul 07 12:38)
Edit Reason: sober

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#55841 - 08 Jul 07 13:24 Re: worth less than a truckload of dead rats in a tampon factory [Re: kenyeung]
Dilli Offline
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Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
It looks much nicer with the little yellow quote borders Keny.

Nice work, put a gold star in your jotter
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#55883 - 08 Jul 07 21:48 Re: worth less than a truckload of dead rats in a tampon factory [Re: Dilli]
kenyeung Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 16 Apr 07
Posts: 2374
Loc: Indonesia
I preferred Maccabee when in Israel, although Goldstar was often the only beer that could be stolen from the soldiers on yom shabat.
Anyway, why did you guys stray off topic? this has nothing to do with sportsmen with risible nicknames. And why change the title to "worth less than a truckload of dead rats in a tampon factory"? Sick.

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#55888 - 09 Jul 07 01:19 About as amusing as a mass grave . [Re: kenyeung]
Capt. Mainwaring Offline
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Registered: 16 Aug 06
Posts: 3225
Loc: here
Heineken Export dug out of the sand in Al-Mafrac Yemen on the way to Taiz from Hodeidha - wouldn't normally touch the stuff but it was either that or a bottle of ethanol from the lab served with ice and orange juice .
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I also made a vegetarian version,with tempe and tofu chunks for myself and others.Get over it.
Kosong.Wolo.Setunggal.Setunggal.Setunggal.Kosong.Pitu.Setunggal.Kosong.Wolo=Tempik

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#55892 - 09 Jul 07 06:59 Re: About as amusing as a mass grave . [Re: Capt. Mainwaring]
Dilli Offline
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Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Beer in Yemen was not difficult to find. Heineken had a brewery in Aden before the end of the civil war, when unfortunately the northern fundamentalists shut it (more like shot it) down.

Thereafter, beer became a valuable commodity, while surprisingly, a case off Stolichnya could be easily bought for US$100.....

Ah, Yemen, I think I have posted earlier that despite its political problems it was one of the most interesting and beautiful countries I ever worked in!
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#55900 - 09 Jul 07 10:10 Re: About as amusing as a mass grave . [Re: Dilli]
kenyeung Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 16 Apr 07
Posts: 2374
Loc: Indonesia
Yemenite women are babes, before they get married and too old.

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#55910 - 09 Jul 07 13:16 Re: About as amusing as a mass grave . [Re: kenyeung]
Dilli Offline
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Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Got to agree with you there Keny!


Attachments
2188-jijab.jpg


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#55920 - 09 Jul 07 13:37 Re: About as amusing as a mass grave . [Re: Dilli]
Capt. Mainwaring Offline
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Registered: 16 Aug 06
Posts: 3225
Loc: here
Quoting: Dilli
Beer in Yemen was not difficult to find. Heineken had a brewery in Aden before the end of the civil war, when unfortunately the northern fundamentalists shut it (more like shot it) down.

Thereafter, beer became a valuable commodity, while surprisingly, a case off Stolichnya could be easily bought for US$100.....

Ah, Yemen, I think I have posted earlier that despite its political problems it was one of the most interesting and beautiful countries I ever worked in!


Shame KuKu hasn't shaken himself into action and got the photo album sorted out -

As you say alcohol was pretty easy to get , and getting through the checkpoints was only a matter of a bribe, however if you got caught without the necessary bribe in place then the guys would make you open all of the bottles and poor them into the sand .

Mate of mine was madly in love with a girl - she was a little darling, but the threat of the inevitable stoning that would be a wedding present kind of cooled him down a bit .

What part of Yemen were you in Dilli ? Yemen Hunt oil had a few guys there around Al-Hodeidah while I was there .
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I also made a vegetarian version,with tempe and tofu chunks for myself and others.Get over it.
Kosong.Wolo.Setunggal.Setunggal.Setunggal.Kosong.Pitu.Setunggal.Kosong.Wolo=Tempik

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#55926 - 09 Jul 07 13:47 Re: About as amusing as a mass grave . [Re: Capt. Mainwaring]
Dilli Offline
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Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Mostly Marib, (was sad to hear about the spansih tourists, visited the Queens palace many times, in fact the Halliburton camp had steps into the cabins which were stones from the palace)
lot of time in Ataq, Shabwah and was shagging an old girlfriend from Dubai who had moved to Aden with Yemen Hunt.

Still remember the white knuckle car ride from Sanaa to Marib down through the mountains......
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#55930 - 09 Jul 07 14:02 Re: About as amusing as a mass grave . [Re: Dilli]
Dilli Offline
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Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
I remember we used to put our Vodka into water bottles after they got wise to the locked toolbox being full off boose.

Unfortunately, as it was mine, I did not inform any of the other occupants of the truck.

At a check point, windows down, guns poking around, an american travelling companion reached for a fullwater bottle and took a huge slug from it!

Only to see it being spat out all over Yemens finest rag tag & bobtails - he had quaffed the equivalent of a 1/4 bottle of neat Smirnoff. (We got away with it, fuck knows how)
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