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#52128 - 23 May 07 22:53 Scottish Olympic TEAM
riccardo Offline

Registered: 12 Oct 05
Posts: 2195
Loc: Jakarta
GRSB scores another coup! Alex Salmond, Scotland's "First Minister" obviously is an avid reader of this blog/forum and after reading our comments about Scots in the Olympics in the lovely American Appreciation thread, he has decided to separate from the GBR team and get Scotland into the Olympics....


Hurdles to jump to get Scots Olympic squad
Wed. 23 May 2007

THE Proclaimers' first big hit, Letter from America, has the poignant line: "You know our sense of timing, we always wait too long ..." Apologies to Scotland's finest, but after hearing of Alex Salmond's Olympian dream, maybe it would have been better to describe our Scottish sense of timing as "wrong". Boy, did our new First Minister get his timing wrong in calling for a Scottish team at the Olympics - top marks for honesty, but nul point for presentation.

I'd love to see Scots athletes compete as Scots at the Olympics. I'd love to feel the same thrill and pride on watching a Scottish swimmer, diver, runner, thrower or cyclist compete with the best in the world, as was shared by almost everyone in Scotland when yet another triumph was reported from the Commonwealth Games.

Yet I wish Alex Salmond hadn't shot from the lip about getting a Scottish team to the Olympics without first doing a warm-up alongside Scottish Úlite athletes. Had he done so, he would have realised that Olympians from Scotland have usually had to overcome difficulties posed by a lack of training facilities, a shortage of sponsorship or financial security, a lack of regular top-flight competition, adverse weather conditions and in some cases a lack of top-flight coaching.

Obviously this will colour their opinions on the Scottish sporting authorities' ability to nurture and grow a team of potential medallists at the Olympics. People like Alan Wells are also likely to be a tad weary of politicians who appear to latch on to sport and sporting heroes when it suits their political objectives.

Remember how, at his Olympics in Moscow, Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher refused her approval of anyone who took part? The Russians invaded Afghanistan at the invitation of the puppet government in Kabul. In the West, governments called off diplomatic contacts with Kabul and the Kremlin. The Americans banned their athletes from going to the Moscow Olympics and appealed to their political allies to follow suit.

Alan Wells, winner of the 100 metres at the Moscow Games, whose participation was in itself a rebuttal of sport being used by politicians, was first out of the blocks. He accused Mr Salmond of being silly to want to cut Scots athletes off from the coaching and facilities offered at a British level. Every medal-winning Olympic track star echoed his comments. But that's still not the whole picture, nor does it anticipate how an Olympic team from Scotland would run its own race, depending on how our national sporting resources and talents are assessed.

The argument pursued by this current generation of Scots Olympians, and former heroes such as Alan Wells and Sir Ming Campbell, rests on Scotland's small size. They argue that we couldn't provide the support for top-flight athletes. Yes, we could, because there are two ways of making sure Úlite athletes get the necessary coaching and facilities.

The Scottish government could build international standard tracks and training facilities, and buy in the top international coaches - but this is unrealistic and would cost far too much.

Alternatively, Scotland's Olympic hopefuls could continue as they do now. Top track stars could do as Liz McColgan and head for the American college system via a sports scholarship - or follow the Commonwealth Games Scottish medallists into the pools at Loughborough or Cardiff.

The second option is the way things are now in international sport: top athletes follow the weather, facilities, and most importantly, coaches.

But underpinning all of this, if we are to produce, per head of our small population, the same number of top athletes as New Zealand, Norway, Sweden and Finland, we need to provide the best local facilities we can afford.

To produce medal winners, there has to be as big a talent reservoir as possible. To produce that, as many people as possible must take part in sport and exercise, and coaching qualifications must be as accessible as possible. If Alex Salmond had started at this end of the equation, he might not have encountered the opposition of the very people he needed to back him.

This is the basic argument in favour of community athletics and sports training facilities being retained at Meadowbank. Additional to the health and welfare benefit to the whole population, a bigger pool of participants is bound to yield a greater number of potential winners.

Also, not every country reaches top level in every sport. Countries tend to go with what their climate dictates: most of the world's top skiers originate from snowy countries, for example.

Distance runners tend to come from high-altitude countries, swimmers from warm places with outdoor pools and bowlers and curlers come from Scotland, Hong-Kong, the Bahamas and Canada.

So a Scottish Olympic team is possible, but not before years of preparation work in building up sport in schools and in the community.
Just here proffering my pearls to swine, my throat to wolves and my trousers to the flagpole.

#52132 - 24 May 07 02:22 Re: Scottish Olympic TEAM [Re: riccardo]
Capt. Mainwaring Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 16 Aug 06
Posts: 3225
Loc: here
Can you write a brief precis of that Riccardo ? to be frank it is as boring as fuck , one assumes that there is a point to it ?
You could always add a few smilies etc , it is at about that standard.

You can't expect us savages to remain on your rusty hook if you are not prepared to put the effort in you know ?
I also made a vegetarian version,with tempe and tofu chunks for myself and others.Get over it.

#52136 - 24 May 07 07:22 Re: Scottish Olympic TEAM [Re: Capt. Mainwaring]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Glasgow to Host 2008 Olympics

In an attempt to influence the members of the international Olympic Committee on their choice of venue for the games the organisers of Glasgow's bid have drawn up an itinerary and schedule of events. A copy has been leaked and is reproduced below.

Opening Ceremony - The Olympic flame will be ignited by a petrol bomb thrown by a native of the city (preferably from the Easterhouse area), wearing the traditional costume of shell suit, baseball cap and balaclava mask. It will burn for the duration of the games in a large chip van situated on the roof of the stadium.

The Events - In previous Olympic games, Scotland's competitors have not been particularly successful. In order to redress the balance, some of the events have been altered slightly to the advantage of local athletes:

100 Metres Sprint- Competitors will have to hold a video recorder and microwave oven(one in each arm) and on the sound of the starting pistol, a police dog will be released from a cage 10 yards behind the athletes.

100 Metres Hurdle - As above but with added obstacles (ie. car bonnets, hedges, garden fences, walls etc.)

Hammer - Competitors may choose the type of hammer they wish to use (claw, sledge, etc) the winner will be the one who can cause the most grievous bodily harm to members of the public within the time allowed.

Fencing - Entrants will be asked to dispose of as much stolen silver and jewelry as possible in 5 minutes

Shooting - A strong challenge is expected from the local men in this event. The first target will be a moving police car, the next a post office van and then a Securicor wages vehicle.

Boxing - Entry to the boxing will be restricted to husband and wife teams, and will take place on a Friday night. The husband will be given 15 pints of Tennents lager while the wife will be told not to make him any tea when he gets home. The bout will then commence.

Cycling Time Trials - Competitors will break into the University bike sheds and take an expensive mountain bike owned by some mummy's boy from the country on his first trip away from home. All against the clock.

Cycling Pursuit- As above but the bike will belong to a visiting member of the Australian rugby team who will witness the theft.

Modern Pentathlon - Amended to include mugging, breaking and entering, flashing, joy-riding and arson.

The Marathon - A safe route has yet to be decided, but competitors will be issued with sharp sticks and bags with which to pick up litter on their way round the course.

Swimming - Competitors will be thrown off the Clyde Suspension Bridge. The first three survivors back will decide the medals.

Men's 50km Walk - Unfortunately this event will have to be cancelled as police cannot guarantee the safety of anyone walking the streets of Glasgow.

Closing Ceremony - Entertainment will include formation rave dancing by members of Glasgow Health in the Community anti-drug campaigners, synchronised rock throwing and music by the Govan Boys Band.

The Olympic flame will be extinguished by someone pissing on it from the top floor of the block of flats next to the stadium.

The stadium will then be boarded up before the local athletes break into it and remove all the copper piping and the central heating boiler.

Menace to Sobriety

#52145 - 24 May 07 09:04 Re: Scottish Olympic TEAM [Re: Dilli]
riccardo Offline

Registered: 12 Oct 05
Posts: 2195
Loc: Jakarta
The original story was an actual opinion piece in the

Just here proffering my pearls to swine, my throat to wolves and my trousers to the flagpole.


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