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#47822 - 18 Mar 07 15:37 Roy's Hair Column
riccardo Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 12 Oct 05
Posts: 2195
Loc: Jakarta
I'm taking the liberty to post the most recent column from our own "Roy's Hair" here. I liked it and since it's almost impossible to find these things online at the JP 24 hrs hence, we can all read it here at our leisure.

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Fishnets and chips

I teleported down to the Jakarta Convention Center again last weekend for the Computer Mega Bazaar exhibition.

Geek orgies such as these often serve to intensify the vertiginous feeling many of us have whilst we watch technology accelerate into the future at breakneck speed.

Techno fear aside though, there were plenty of shiny plastic and metal objects of lust on show for the computer-savvy Jakartan to feast on, and the public were out at the JCC in their droves.

Computer-wise, prices are still being whittled away by the increasing cheapness of microprocessors. A locally assembled desktop computer can be had for as little as Rp 2.7 million whilst laptop prices have plummeted as low as Rp 5 million.

It's not quite the Bill Gates millennium vision of the US$100 computer for the developing world, but it's not far off. I can remember when laptops used to cost a small fortune in the city's electronics stores.

I resisted the endless upgrade path this time, though, and decided to stick with my more modest desktop machine. Presumably this means that when Rp 20,000 copies of Windows Vista finally start showing up in the city's dodgy software shops, my old crate won't be able to handle its new, high-tech 3-D graphic interface.

Never mind, at least I could seek solace in the sexy dance show at the LG stand. They were wearing fishnet body stockings, by the way. I'm not sure how this fits in with the overall LG techno marketing strategy but it certainly got me to stop long enough for the stand's staff to thrust several deciduous forests-worth of glossy product brochures into my hands.

Sex still sells, even in the deodorized, uber-geek, motherboard-fetishizing world of the computer show.

After the dancers, I trundled slowly through the thronging masses to see what other semi-conducting objects of desire could be had.

There were MP3 players the size of postage stamps that can hold about 20 albums worth of songs going for a mere Rp 250,000. There were huge flat-screen computer monitors.

There were projectors which, starting at about Rp 7 million, are a cheaper alternative to those expensive widescreen plasma TVs currently in vogue.

I also saw the latest graphics cards producing quite amazing, almost photographic quality visuals. I even managed to scoff at some ludicrously overpriced laptop backpacks which looked no different from any backpack that you would find at the markets of Blok M for Rp 50,000 on a Saturday afternoon.

It was an interesting exhibition, though, and thoroughly demonstrated how computers have permeated every facet of the modern, urbane sophisticate's life.

From laptops to notebooks to music players, cameras and a million-and-one plug-in USB gizmos, your middle-class Jakartan is as wired as anyone on the planet.

Brave new world

It seems that we increasingly rely on computers to mediate every aspect of our existence. If every computer in the world in 1960 had suddenly stopped functioning, few people would have noticed.

Perhaps a few scientists would have had a problem with their punch-card printouts. Circa 2007, the same event would be a different matter entirely. All electrical power distribution would grind to a halt, for a start.

Anything with embedded microprocessors would also go dead: telephones, radios, televisions, walkmans, e-mail, the Web, the lot.

You wouldn't be able to get your money out of your bank. Business and government would operate at only the most primitive level. And if all the data in all the computers vanished as well, then we would really be in trouble.

This seems to be just as valid a hypothesis in Indonesia as in any other country. Computers rule here too, from the girl in my local warung who seems to be unable, to my endless exasperation, to add up Rp 12,000 and Rp 7000 without her trusty calculator, to the corrupt elites seeking to hide their ill gotten gains through endless, dodgy computerized bank transactions.

That tactic didn't seem to work so well last week when we all found out that the government have been kindly laundering jailbird murderer Tommy Soeharto's money for him -- talk about the war on corruption taking a cease-fire!

Futurists such as Marvin Minsky or Ray Kurzweil in his books The Age of Spiritual Machines and The Singularity assert that we are only at the start of a future far more mind-blowing that any Star Wars-style sci-fi flick.

They state that technology amounts to no less than evolution of our species by other means. Leading on from this proposition they assert that the inexorable and exponential increases in computational power will eventually give us sentient machines (within the next 20 to 30 years).

After this, brain-scanning techniques (already in their infancy today) will enable humans to upload their consciousnesses into computer hardware and thus we will merge with our own technology into a super brain singularity.

Makes Bluetooth look like peanuts, doesn't it? Nanotechnology also holds the promise of the creation of a real virtual reality.

Walls and houses constantly morphing and changing; computer/human consciousnesses able to actualize themselves as real, physical nano-robot-swarm humans within seconds.

High fallutin' stuff, to be sure, and it certainly beats the cod religious symbolism and half-arsed cops-and-robbers-in-space narrative of Star Wars if you ask me.

Mind you, if the various members of SBY's cabinet were to upload their minds into a conscious computer singularity, there probably wouldn't be enough combined megahertz to run a game of Tetris.


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#47825 - 18 Mar 07 15:51 Re: Roy's Hair Column [Re: riccardo]
Capt. Mainwaring Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 16 Aug 06
Posts: 3225
Loc: here
Odd , you normally butcher back long uninteresting posts .
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I also made a vegetarian version,with tempe and tofu chunks for myself and others.Get over it.
Kosong.Wolo.Setunggal.Setunggal.Setunggal.Kosong.Pitu.Setunggal.Kosong.Wolo=Tempik

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#47828 - 18 Mar 07 17:07 Re: Roy's Hair Column [Re: Capt. Mainwaring]
riccardo Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 12 Oct 05
Posts: 2195
Loc: Jakarta
Not the original thread-starting post, just the comments afterward...
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Just here proffering my pearls to swine, my throat to wolves and my trousers to the flagpole.

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#48019 - 22 Mar 07 12:17 Re: Roy's Hair Column [Re: riccardo]
Polisi Cepek Offline
Member*

Registered: 17 Mar 07
Posts: 809
Loc: Di tengah hutan
Quoting: riccardo


Mind you, if the various members of SBY's cabinet were to upload their minds into a conscious computer singularity, there probably wouldn't be enough combined megahertz to run a game of Tetris.



Ah, as always the best bit is saved for last.. Did the JP publish this closing line? Should be on the editorial page.
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"Some people think I've been flogging my own sausage," he joked.

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#48506 - 28 Mar 07 10:40 Re: Roy's Hair Column [Re: Polisi Cepek]
naga Offline
Member++

Registered: 18 Jan 07
Posts: 260
Loc: undisclosed location
Whatever happened to Roy's column on parasindonesia?

doesn't seem to be as prolific as before...

the site seems to be going downhill, too opinionated?
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"Keep on rockin' in the free world"

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#48509 - 28 Mar 07 10:53 Re: Roy's Hair Column [Re: naga]
riccardo Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 12 Oct 05
Posts: 2195
Loc: Jakarta
Quoting: naga
Whatever happened to Roy's column on parasindonesia?

doesn't seem to be as prolific as before...

the site seems to be going downhill, too opinionated?


"Roy's Hair" and "Roy of Paras Indonesia" are two different people from different continents. I'm not sure of the exact details, but Paras did some cost-cutting or something and RoyTupai doesn't work with them much, or at all, anymore...
_________________________
Just here proffering my pearls to swine, my throat to wolves and my trousers to the flagpole.

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#48512 - 28 Mar 07 10:59 Re: Roy's Hair Column [Re: riccardo]
naga Offline
Member++

Registered: 18 Jan 07
Posts: 260
Loc: undisclosed location
gotcha....
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"Keep on rockin' in the free world"

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#48589 - 28 Mar 07 20:33 Re: Roy's Hair Column [Re: naga]
Polisi Cepek Offline
Member*

Registered: 17 Mar 07
Posts: 809
Loc: Di tengah hutan
Roy's Hair is to Roy as Hunter S. Thompson is to Bernstein/Woodward.. Well, kind of. Roy's funnier than B/W. But you get the idea, right?
_________________________
"Some people think I've been flogging my own sausage," he joked.

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#48674 - 29 Mar 07 13:49 Re: Roy's Hair Column [Re: Polisi Cepek]
naga Offline
Member++

Registered: 18 Jan 07
Posts: 260
Loc: undisclosed location
not really.....
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"Keep on rockin' in the free world"

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#48745 - 30 Mar 07 10:13 Re: Roy's Hair Column [Re: naga]
Roy's Hair Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 08 Nov 06
Posts: 3974
Loc: jakarta
But what the hell can I write about next week? Got to think of something. The JP give me 500k a pop to supplement my meagre teachers' wages so I'll keep going until they sack me or until a pissed off elite sends the boys round to shoot me.
Thanks for bigging up the column. I've posted em all at http://metromad.blogspot.com/
I'm not Roy Tupai by the way. Just his hair.


Edited by Roy's hair (30 Mar 07 10:16)
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Chinese like more traditional patterns on their ring.

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#48746 - 30 Mar 07 10:14 Re: Roy's Hair Column [Re: Roy's Hair]
Roy's Hair Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 08 Nov 06
Posts: 3974
Loc: jakarta
like the continuing Futurama theme by the way Polisi
_________________________
Chinese like more traditional patterns on their ring.

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#48747 - 30 Mar 07 10:21 Re: Roy's Hair Column [Re: Roy's Hair]
KuKuKaChu Moderator Offline
Pooh Bah

Registered: 09 Oct 05
Posts: 10790
Loc: Centre of the Universe
Quoting: Roy's hair
But what the hell can I write about next week? Got to think of something.

what about a little piece about comparative justice, beheading schoolgirls vs 4 keys of weed. should be a barrel of laughs!
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KuKuKaChu: dangerously too sophisticated

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#48786 - 30 Mar 07 20:32 Re: Roy's Hair Column [Re: KuKuKaChu]
Roy's Hair Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 08 Nov 06
Posts: 3974
Loc: jakarta
yeah. Some poor English lads were busted up in Aceh according to today's paper . They were having a cheeky toke on the beach. They'd have been better off killing a few people perhaps
_________________________
Chinese like more traditional patterns on their ring.

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#48887 - 02 Apr 07 17:21 Re: Roy's Hair Column [Re: Roy's Hair]
naga Offline
Member++

Registered: 18 Jan 07
Posts: 260
Loc: undisclosed location
...so long as they were filthy, heathen, infidel Christians...
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"Keep on rockin' in the free world"

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#49932 - 20 Apr 07 21:22 Re: Roy's Hair Column [Re: naga]
kenyeung Moderator Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 16 Apr 07
Posts: 2374
Loc: Indonesia
Have you ever written a column advising where to find hot women willing for a threesome? Apart from whore-bars and brothels. Thanks.

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#49934 - 21 Apr 07 00:24 Re: Roy's Hair Column [Re: kenyeung]
Capt. Mainwaring Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 16 Aug 06
Posts: 3225
Loc: here
Kenny , is that 3 including yourself , or do you really require a foursome ? Do you have any prerequisites - age etc ? any preference as to blue white or red ? or just fancy a lucky dip ?

As an aside , is everyone going to have their own column ? there is a lot to be said to it , put an end to all the arguments for a start.
_________________________
I also made a vegetarian version,with tempe and tofu chunks for myself and others.Get over it.
Kosong.Wolo.Setunggal.Setunggal.Setunggal.Kosong.Pitu.Setunggal.Kosong.Wolo=Tempik

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#49943 - 21 Apr 07 08:33 Re: Roy's Hair Column [Re: Capt. Mainwaring]
KuKuKaChu Moderator Offline
Pooh Bah

Registered: 09 Oct 05
Posts: 10790
Loc: Centre of the Universe
Quoting: Capt. Mainwaring
As an aside , is everyone going to have their own column ?


sure capt. you up for it??

Quote:
there is a lot to be said to it , put an end to all the arguments for a start.

the arguments are the point. if there were no arguments, if everyone was in complete agreement on everything, it wouldn't be any fun at all! vive la différence!
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KuKuKaChu: dangerously too sophisticated

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#49944 - 21 Apr 07 08:34 Re: Roy's Hair Column [Re: KuKuKaChu]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
As a bonus you may even get the power to delete or edit anything you dont like.....
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Menace to Sobriety


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#49948 - 21 Apr 07 09:17 Re: Roy's Hair Column [Re: Dilli]
Roy's Hair Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 08 Nov 06
Posts: 3974
Loc: jakarta
I've never had a threesome and it's kind o bugging me
_________________________
Chinese like more traditional patterns on their ring.

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#49951 - 21 Apr 07 09:26 Re: Roy's Hair Column [Re: Roy's Hair]
KuKuKaChu Moderator Offline
Pooh Bah

Registered: 09 Oct 05
Posts: 10790
Loc: Centre of the Universe
Quoting: Roy's hair
I've never had a threesome and it's kind o bugging me

smile it's no big deal, really. and a lot depends on the skill and experience of your partners, and your relationship with them.
_________________________
KuKuKaChu: dangerously too sophisticated

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#49957 - 21 Apr 07 09:45 Re: Roy's Hair Column [Re: kenyeung]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Quoting: kenyeung
Have you ever written a column advising where to find hot women willing for a threesome? Apart from whore-bars and brothels. Thanks.


The only civilized reaction to this type of request is a patient shrug. Every adult must at some point have paused during some slapstick piece of debauchery and thought, "Christ, this is ridiculous". (And I'm not going to tell you what the girlfriend was thinking about the two of us in bed with a donkey)

Having testicles is like being chained to the village idiot. Sad, but there it is. And when we have solved every racial, political and economic problem, we will still be stuck with that one.
_________________________
Menace to Sobriety


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#49959 - 21 Apr 07 09:50 Re: Roy's Hair Column [Re: KuKuKaChu]
Diyu Offline
Member+++

Registered: 12 Nov 05
Posts: 324
Loc: new zealand
sisters don,t count KU
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Here pussy pussy

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#49974 - 21 Apr 07 16:18 Re: Roy's Hair Column [Re: Dilli]
Roy's Hair Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 08 Nov 06
Posts: 3974
Loc: jakarta
Quoting: Dilli
Having testicles is like being chained to the village idiot. Sad, but there it is. And when we have solved every racial, political and economic problem, we will still be stuck with that one.


Yeah. I'm a martyr to me knackers as well. Still, a man needs a hobby. Bring on the Sharia I say and we can all get our strength back.
_________________________
Chinese like more traditional patterns on their ring.

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#49990 - 22 Apr 07 08:37 Re: Roy's Hair Column [Re: Roy's Hair]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Q)
Why is it difficult for a woman to wake up in the morning?

A)
They dont have a set of balls to scratch!
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Menace to Sobriety


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#49992 - 22 Apr 07 09:50 Re: Roy's Hair Column [Re: Dilli]
Diyu Offline
Member+++

Registered: 12 Nov 05
Posts: 324
Loc: new zealand
Quoting: Dilli
Q)
Why is it difficult for a woman to wake up in the morning?

A)
They dont have a set of balls to scratch!



And yet some think they have
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Here pussy pussy

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