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#46291 - 01 Mar 07 23:33 Need Advice
travel2happiness Offline
Member

Registered: 01 Mar 07
Posts: 12
Loc: usa
Love, we all know how tricky that is, even more so when the Internet is involved. I met my guy online a year ago and we have been dating with no real problems. He told me in May he had a girlfriend overseas and I was okay with it because our relationship was new and we didn't discuss their seriousness. In December he told me he was on his way to vacate and see her in Indonesia and I had to bring it out of him that he had known for awhile that we should stop seeing each other. I'm weak and we continued to date through the month until December when I finally told him I had been loving him all along on Christmas and said my emotional goodbye without letting him respond. After he was there for a month, he returned to the states and contacted me on Valentine's Day and seemed adamant to see me. We had a nice awkward dinner, I didnt ask if had in fact proposed or not, and we were intimate. I held back, but he was so affectionate and sweet, and considering he said he would never ever cheat on his wife (and I truly believe him) or once he got engaged, I hope maybe they had called it off. Today I finally get the nerve on the phone to ask their status, and he says he has not given her a ring, but that they are engaged in a way, and in about 6 months one of them will be getting a visa, which, I am not sure, and am puzzled on how that could happen anyways. I had seen her name on yahoo msgr at his second home months ago, and have seen her model pictures on a website. He says it was wrong for him to have returned to the states and emailed me, but that he missed me, which he has never quite admitted of any of his true feelings to me, and that it is up to me if we should have one last time together, and try to leave emotions out. I know I should not go to see him this last time, but I am not sure if I should tell the other woman, who he finally admits would be upset, and rightfully so, seeing as we were an actual couple, and he had feelings for me beyond physical by not wanting me to see others, and he has been in denial of that being other than for sexual health. They met on the Internet a year and a half ago and have spent 3 trips or so together in ID, Amsterdam, and Bali in January. He says his heart is with her, but, do I tell her all the things she may want to know about us and about him? I do not want it to be vindictive, and selfserving, as I know once he finds out I contacted her, he will almost for certin hate me and who knows how he will react. I am confused, hurt, but, more importantly, still in love, and I have good reason to believe from his past that he may contact me again regardless, and in the future, a relationship will not probably work out with her in the long run, as bad as that sounds. I come here because I dont want a negative image in my mind of Indonesia or his fantastical wonderful Balinese fantasy life, or of beautiful bright Indonesian women as I am sure there are many whom I must not bear any ill will towards, because of my envy. Someone please give me their opinion, anything will help.

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#46296 - 02 Mar 07 00:37 Re: Need Advice [Re: travel2happiness]
KuKuKaChu Moderator Offline
Pooh Bah

Registered: 09 Oct 05
Posts: 10790
Loc: Centre of the Universe
my advice is very brief: let it go. find someone else.
_________________________
KuKuKaChu: dangerously too sophisticated

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#46302 - 02 Mar 07 00:48 Re: Need Advice [Re: KuKuKaChu]
Orang Kanada Offline
Member*

Registered: 30 Sep 06
Posts: 621
Loc: Jakarta
my advice: make the story shorter, people here don't like to read for too long. Then you gonna have more advices wink wink wink
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Spiderpig, spiderpig...

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#46305 - 02 Mar 07 00:56 Re: Need Advice [Re: Orang Kanada]
jok Offline
Member**

Registered: 21 Mar 06
Posts: 1099
Loc: Jakarta
You are right Orang Kanada.
and also my Advice is: do not go into a complicated life. please put your life into a simple life, get over it (your complicated life) and start new refresh again with someone new.

_________________________
Little Jungle Bunny

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#46306 - 02 Mar 07 00:57 Re: Need Advice [Re: Orang Kanada]
chewwyUK Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 14 Sep 06
Posts: 2392
Loc: Jakarta
im with kuku -- don't waste your time there are other men in the world .. truth is this guy was horny and alone on valentines day and gave you a booty call. Its not nice to hear but its probably true. Like I have said before judge a person by what they do and not what they say.

What he says - he cares for you / has feelings for you

What he does - is lie to you, piss you about, cheat on you / his g/f or wife.

See its an easy system -- the guys a twat so move on
_________________________
Edited by Piss Salon
Edit Reason: taste

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#46309 - 02 Mar 07 01:01 Re: Need Advice [Re: KuKuKaChu]
doremi Offline
Member+++

Registered: 17 Jan 07
Posts: 488
Loc: slouch couch
I think there isn't anything we,women, can do to change a man's heart once he fall in love with the other woman.

I find him rather selfish: stringing you along, giving you hope (no matter how weak you're)that perhaps you'd be together.

You'll have to let him go (hard to do than say)...


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#46313 - 02 Mar 07 01:07 Re: Need Advice [Re: doremi]
bonita Offline
Member+++

Registered: 15 Sep 06
Posts: 364
Loc: at my desk
Agree with nw. Men!

Find someone else though it's not easy to do but don't give up there.

_________________________
wo lamhe wo bateein koi na jaane...

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#46317 - 02 Mar 07 01:11 Re: Need Advice [Re: travel2happiness]
TeDdYBeAr Offline
Member++

Registered: 20 Jan 07
Posts: 160
Loc: Indonesia
Uhmm its ok even if this is long, but maybe next time better put it in pharagraph so it is more readable and not painin in the eyes smile

My advice : Continue with your live and forget about him. You deserve a better person and I am sure you will find a better man, much better than him. Take it like this : he is the looser, not you smile
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--'--<@ TeDdYBeAr @>--'--
Appriciate what you have before you lose it
love love love love love love

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#46336 - 02 Mar 07 02:16 Re: Need Advice [Re: TeDdYBeAr]
jok Offline
Member**

Registered: 21 Mar 06
Posts: 1099
Loc: Jakarta
but Ladies...., we need to understand ms. travel2happynes.
so what you could do if you don't want to let him go? because of you really Love that Twat or Looser, bastard or whatever you name him, oh please what you can do in that situation?
do you think it's easy to find a better man that she really deserve properly? or maybe she can just find the ar$ehole more worse than him wink ohh.. No...........!!
_________________________
Little Jungle Bunny

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#46339 - 02 Mar 07 02:33 Re: Need Advice [Re: jok]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Have a problem, need some help and advice on Men, send your questions to JakChat's very own Agony Bunny, Ela!

No matter what the issue, her soothing responses will be sure to assist!
_________________________
Menace to Sobriety


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#46340 - 02 Mar 07 02:36 Re: Need Advice [Re: jok]
Just Offline
Member+++

Registered: 09 Dec 06
Posts: 457
Loc: Obviously not your place!
I am with all the others. Let him go, plenty men out there, you just need to open your heart and mind again.

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#46343 - 02 Mar 07 02:41 Re: Need Advice [Re: Just]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
And your legs!
_________________________
Menace to Sobriety


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#46345 - 02 Mar 07 02:43 Re: Need Advice [Re: Dilli]
jok Offline
Member**

Registered: 21 Mar 06
Posts: 1099
Loc: Jakarta
haha! Dili, you never be serious and always smile
_________________________
Little Jungle Bunny

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#46346 - 02 Mar 07 02:44 Re: Need Advice [Re: jok]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Glad to be of service Ms Jungle Bunny
_________________________
Menace to Sobriety


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#46348 - 02 Mar 07 03:01 Re: Need Advice [Re: Dilli]
juminten Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 08 Dec 05
Posts: 3870
Loc: disana-disini
Quoting: Dilli
And your legs!

cepek dulu dong...
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I need more money and power and less shit from you people!

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#46350 - 02 Mar 07 03:07 Re: Need Advice [Re: travel2happiness]
juminten Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 08 Dec 05
Posts: 3870
Loc: disana-disini
Quoting: travel2happiness
He says his heart is with her, but, do I tell her all the things she may want to know about us and about him?

NO you DON'T...just leave them alone ! he made it clear that he wants her, not you.
_________________________
I need more money and power and less shit from you people!

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#46358 - 02 Mar 07 03:15 Re: Need Advice [Re: juminten]
Yes Offline
Member++

Registered: 17 Oct 06
Posts: 177
Loc: Bali, Indonesia
hes got the fever....let him go...sounds like to much heartache for you
_________________________
Jauh di Mata dekat di Hati

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#46369 - 02 Mar 07 03:36 Re: Need Advice [Re: travel2happiness]
Jokie Jokie Girl Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 07 Nov 05
Posts: 2552
Loc: Central Jakarta
haloha TH, welcome to JC..the one and only asslick:

well, TH..you better send your story to me and I'm gonna make it as a short story wink

love..love and love...men..men..and men..it's never end!

start from now on...stop thinking about him and try to find a new one...
ada yang lebih baik akan Tuhan berikan kepada kamu help wink

cherrs
jokie

_________________________
"I am the Island girl, born with the humble life, eat on the floor with the right hand"

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#46371 - 02 Mar 07 03:40 Re: Need Advice [Re: KuKuKaChu]
Jokie Jokie Girl Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 07 Nov 05
Posts: 2552
Loc: Central Jakarta
Quoting: KuKuKaChu
my advice is very brief: let it go. find someone else.


it's a simpel word but deepest smile
kayak nggak ada laki-laki lain aja ya Ku wink
_________________________
"I am the Island girl, born with the humble life, eat on the floor with the right hand"

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#46374 - 02 Mar 07 03:43 Re: Need Advice [Re: Jokie Jokie Girl]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Get a mini skirt, stockings, suspenders, low cut top, go out, I am sure that you may meet a real gentlemen!
_________________________
Menace to Sobriety


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#46377 - 02 Mar 07 03:46 Re: Need Advice [Re: Yes]
travel2happiness Offline
Member

Registered: 01 Mar 07
Posts: 12
Loc: usa
I thank you guys all tremendously. You dont know how much it helped, honestly. Im going to try and let my feelings for him go as quickly as I possibly can. If any of you meet a man out there named Drew Starr, look out, hes a charismatic, jerky pothead a**, and I unfortunately wish him all the best.

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#46396 - 02 Mar 07 09:36 Re: Need Advice [Re: travel2happiness]
bonita Offline
Member+++

Registered: 15 Sep 06
Posts: 364
Loc: at my desk
Hi travel,

Good to hear from you.

Be still your soul and you're not alone wink

_________________________
wo lamhe wo bateein koi na jaane...

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#46406 - 02 Mar 07 10:55 Re: Need Advice [Re: bonita]
emmajkt Offline
Member*

Registered: 02 Mar 07
Posts: 698
Loc: here, there and everywhere
i wanna answer it. But its too long main thread.. i'm too lazy too read that much without any separate paragraphs.. anyway.. i'm sleepy zzzzzz...


Edited by emmajkt (02 Mar 07 10:56)
_________________________
bla bla bla






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#46425 - 02 Mar 07 11:52 Re: Need Advice [Re: emmajkt]
dolphin Offline
Member+++

Registered: 07 Jan 07
Posts: 337
Loc: auckland, nz
Lol Em :P
_________________________
simply and naturals

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#46426 - 02 Mar 07 11:52 Re: Need Advice [Re: emmajkt]
KuKuKaChu Moderator Offline
Pooh Bah

Registered: 09 Oct 05
Posts: 10790
Loc: Centre of the Universe
travel2happiness, if all the above advice doesn't work for you, try this:



_________________________
KuKuKaChu: dangerously too sophisticated

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