Forums and Chat for Indonesia's English-speaking community
Topic Options
Rate This Topic
#45238 - 15 Feb 07 03:51 hope, it's not too late, guys
Jokie Jokie Girl Offline

Registered: 07 Nov 05
Posts: 2552
Loc: Central Jakarta
While food is an important part of any dinner date, there's still the whole date part to consider. With Valentine's Day quickly approaching, I asked relationship experts - and davidburke & donatella regulars - Kristina Grish Scott, Mebus and JOKIE wink grin to offer some advice on dating etiquette. The recently engaged pair compiled a he said/she said list for each gender that will impress a first date or long-time flame.

1. Don't ever order the most expensive thing on the menu. It may seem like the perfect time to see how lobster and steak taste together, but guys don't like to think they're being taken advantage of.
2. Please have a glass of wine or cocktail at dinner (or two, if you're saucy), but try to avoid the Maui Sunrise with the jumbo straw and glass the size of your head. A mildly tipsy woman is fun; a roaring drunk woman is one car ride away from being dropped off on her front lawn.
3. Please order a dessert, either to share or for yourself. Guys care a lot less about your whole calorie regimen than you think we do, plus we also like more time to talk, which a nice leisurely dessert pleasantly provides.
4. Don't mention ex-boyfriends. Not even if he was the lead singer of Pavement. We just don't want to know.

5. Feel free to ask to sample your date's dinner, just let him parcel out the portion. No guy likes to watch his steak disappear before his very eyes while he can do nothing about it.

6. Don't go overboard on your make-up, even if you have a blemish. A small, hardly noticeable spot on your chin is infinitely preferable to the kabuki mask you slather on in your efforts to hide that you are in fact a human being.

7. A great date involves balance in the conversation: don't talk too much or too little about yourself. Going overboard in either direction can paint you as too self-involved or too self-protective.

8. If he dressed nice (and here's hoping he did), let him know. Guys like a little ego boost now and again too.

9. Don't be afraid to laugh like an idiot. Decorum is for lunch with clients, not dinner with the boy you like.

10. Even if you asked him out, give him a chance to pick up the tab (even if you end up treating or splitting). I know we live in a world of equality and all, but some things make a guy feel good and picking up dinner is often one of them.

1. If you're choosing the restaurant, run it past three platonic girlfriends. You might love the local trattoria for its friendly waiters and free Limoncello, but it's the ladies who remember bad lighting, dingy bathrooms and day-old fruit garnishes.

2. Pick a date up for dinner, even if she lives next door; and if you're having drinks after work, swing by the office. Meeting at the restaurant simply reads as half-hearted. Women appreciate men who put their needs first, if just for the night.

3. For the love of button downs, don't you dare tuck in your shirt! Unless you're dining at the country club or a jacket-required establishment, you'll risk looking like your father en route to the 18th hole (and there's nothing hot about that).

4. Pay your date a very specific compliment that shows you're paying attention. Nice eyes? She's heard it. Cute dimples? Much better.

5. When looking over the menu, ask if she's a sharer. If she loves variety, suggest small dishes to split-or swap plates halfway through the meal if you feel at ease.

6. Save the "Notice me!" soliloquy for Mom and Dad-that is, until your date asks about you. Because she will, if you let her steer the chit-chat. One man's self-involved boast is another's self-aware banter. It just depends who's inquiring.

7. Slide one sensitive topic about yourself into conversation and ask your date's opinion about it. This moment will be more memorable than the pricey dim sum or your canned jokes, since it's laced with trust, sincerity and vulnerability.

8. Keep PDA on the DL. A hand on the leg is too forward for a first date, but snuggling close in the corner banquet, with a kiss on the forehead, is just right.

9. Suggest a decadent dessert, even if she hesitates or says she's full. Every woman wants to secretly sample the chocolate mousse torte, though society prefers she order sherbet. Lift the burden, and try not to stare when she eats more than half.

10. Pay the bill, already. She'll do the faux wallet-reach, but that doesn't mean she actually wants to reach inside. If this one's a keeper, she'll pick-up the nightcap.

special from Jokie: keep me in your mind if you're in happy grin

"I am the Island girl, born with the humble life, eat on the floor with the right hand"

#45242 - 15 Feb 07 05:53 Re: hope, it's not too late, guys [Re: Jokie Jokie Girl]
No Eye Dear Offline

Registered: 09 Mar 06
Posts: 57
Loc: Mars
I cannot believe the number of 1st dates I've had in Indonesia whereby the female (girl) has lost her dinner over herself or in the bathroom. This was due to excessive drinking.... I remember in the early days of BATS having to send someone into the girls toilet to retrieve my date from the toilet floor.

The last time was at a ball and she just threw up all over her nice ball gown.........

But you know what the funny thing is, these girls were actually "nice girls".....respectable, innocent. They really had no experience with drinking but they did (spur of the moment and all that)......I dated the BATS one for over 1 1/2 years after that incident.
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

#45246 - 15 Feb 07 06:36 Re: hope, it's not too late, guys [Re: No Eye Dear]
Polisi Tidur Offline

Registered: 26 Jan 07
Posts: 47
Loc: Bikini Bottom
Hmmm, let's see, you date girl, girl pukes and/or hides out in the bathroom. Maybe you should change your brand of deodorant / mouthwash / dinner conversation?


Moderator:  NetCop