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#43920 - 08 Feb 07 07:31 Serious Relationship vs Expatriat in Indonesia
here I am Offline
Member

Registered: 21 Dec 06
Posts: 15
Loc: Jakarta, Indonesia
One of my friends has a lot of expatriat as friends. And few of them become her closest friends. At one point, she make a choice to have a serious relationship with one of them. But what she got is he doesn't want that. He just want to have a girl that company him every moment in Jakarta that he can give his effection but he don't want to have a serious relationship with her. My question are do most of expatriat that worked in Jakarta don't want to have any serious relationship with Indonesian?

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#43924 - 08 Feb 07 07:35 Re: Serious Relationship vs Expatriat in Indonesia [Re: here I am]
Just Offline
Member+++

Registered: 09 Dec 06
Posts: 457
Loc: Obviously not your place!
Hia, I am speaking for myself here. It will be the same like asking: "Do most of girls here in Indonesia are ayams?"

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#44056 - 09 Feb 07 00:18 Re: Serious Relationship vs Expatriat in Indonesia [Re: here I am]
riccardo Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 12 Oct 05
Posts: 2195
Loc: Jakarta
Quoting: here I am
My question are do most of expatriat that worked in Jakarta don't want to have any serious relationship with Indonesian?


Perhaps we should ask the thousands of WNA men here who have married Indonesian women and have nice little families here. We could even the ask the dozen or so guys on JakChat who have entered into such serious relationships -- does marriage qualify as a "serious relationship"?

I think the answer is simple -- some do and some don't, and some may want to be serious in the future, but not now.
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Just here proffering my pearls to swine, my throat to wolves and my trousers to the flagpole.

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#44063 - 09 Feb 07 00:57 Re: Serious Relationship vs Expatriat in Indonesia [Re: riccardo]
chewwyUK Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 14 Sep 06
Posts: 2392
Loc: Jakarta
I agree -- it all depends on the guy and what they are looking for at the time. If you look at the guys on this site you see a lot of them are married, engaged or in a relationship.

My personal experience has been itís harder for a bule guy to find a girl to settle down with for a number of reasons:

1. 95% of the girls around the bule are players with the morals of an ally cat

2. Most Indonesian girls would hate to leave Indonesia

3. If you are an Indo girl you start off thinking "all bule sleep around" and if you are a bule guy you think, "is this just a money thing" .. Not a healthy start to any relationship

That may be why some people donít like to settle down. Of course the other reason could be when you come to Asia for the first time you get more attention from good-looking girls than you have ever experienced before. One day you are in a bar in Grimsby being turned down by some bird that looks like Jo Brand and the next you are in Block M with 21 years old girls telling you how handsome you are. It does mess with peopleís brains and I donít think there is a single guy who didnít go a little off the rails when first coming to Asia

My advice is if you want to have a serious relationship with a bule you need to go for somebody who has been in Asia for at least three years. It should be out of their system by then
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Edited by Piss Salon
Edit Reason: taste

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#44069 - 09 Feb 07 01:23 Re: Serious Relationship vs Expatriat in Indonesia [Re: chewwyUK]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Try 15 years, gets a lot easier after the first 10!
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Menace to Sobriety


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#44070 - 09 Feb 07 01:24 Re: Serious Relationship vs Expatriat in Indonesia [Re: Dilli]
jok Offline
Member**

Registered: 21 Mar 06
Posts: 1099
Loc: Jakarta
Dili..... smile
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Little Jungle Bunny

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#44072 - 09 Feb 07 01:28 Re: Serious Relationship vs Expatriat in Indonesia [Re: here I am]
TeDdYBeAr Offline
Member++

Registered: 20 Jan 07
Posts: 160
Loc: Indonesia
Quote:
My question are do most of expatriat that worked in Jakarta don't want to have any serious relationship with Indonesian?


I dont think so. Quite alot of expatriats who are serious in their relationship with Indon girl, even end up with marriage. But sometimes they feel scare too with what they heard about Indonesian Girls. And because of that reason they don't want to have a serious relationship. Another reason is maybe it is the visa problem which will always a big problem for both party. It is not easy to bring a wife to their country and to stay in Jakarta, well they might be like to work here, but I don't think most of them have a plan to stay forever in Jakarta, and make Indonesia as their homeland.
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#44074 - 09 Feb 07 01:31 Re: Serious Relationship vs Expatriat in Indonesia [Re: chewwyUK]
TeDdYBeAr Offline
Member++

Registered: 20 Jan 07
Posts: 160
Loc: Indonesia
Quote:
2. Most Indonesian girls would hate to leave Indonesia


I thought it is the other way round Chew ?
Most ( Not all ) of indonesian who has relationship with Bules will want to leave Indonesia if they have chance.
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Appriciate what you have before you lose it
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#44081 - 09 Feb 07 01:47 Re: Serious Relationship vs Expatriat in Indonesia [Re: TeDdYBeAr]
Shesca Offline
Member*

Registered: 12 Aug 06
Posts: 852
Loc: Jakarta
except for me smile
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#44086 - 09 Feb 07 01:56 Re: Serious Relationship vs Expatriat in Indonesia [Re: Shesca]
TeDdYBeAr Offline
Member++

Registered: 20 Jan 07
Posts: 160
Loc: Indonesia
Well Shesca, if you leave Indonesia, then I will feel so lonely wink hahaha, you are my frist love from JC *winks*
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--'--<@ TeDdYBeAr @>--'--
Appriciate what you have before you lose it
love love love love love love

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#44087 - 09 Feb 07 01:58 Re: Serious Relationship vs Expatriat in Indonesia [Re: Shesca]
chewwyUK Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 14 Sep 06
Posts: 2392
Loc: Jakarta
Let me paint you a picture TB .... Girl meets boy in Jakarta. Boy sweeps girl off her feet taking her to nice restaurants, bars, weekends in Lombok, trips to beauty salon, nice apartment with swimming pool, tennis court, gym. A maid to clean and a nice car with his very own driver.

Boy goes back home ... suddenly maid, car, driver, nice apartment, beauty salon and weekends away are replaced with working full time

Would you be keen to go?
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Edited by Piss Salon
Edit Reason: taste

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#44092 - 09 Feb 07 02:06 Re: Serious Relationship vs Expatriat in Indonesia [Re: chewwyUK]
Just Offline
Member+++

Registered: 09 Dec 06
Posts: 457
Loc: Obviously not your place!
I would!

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#44093 - 09 Feb 07 02:09 Re: Serious Relationship vs Expatriat in Indonesia [Re: Just]
jok Offline
Member**

Registered: 21 Mar 06
Posts: 1099
Loc: Jakarta
Quoting: Just MYOFB
I would!


smile
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Little Jungle Bunny

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#44097 - 09 Feb 07 02:32 Re: Serious Relationship vs Expatriat in Indonesia [Re: chewwyUK]
TeDdYBeAr Offline
Member++

Registered: 20 Jan 07
Posts: 160
Loc: Indonesia
Quoting: chewwyUK
Let me paint you a picture TB .... Girl meets boy in Jakarta. Boy sweeps girl off her feet taking her to nice restaurants, bars, weekends in Lombok, trips to beauty salon, nice apartment with swimming pool, tennis court, gym. A maid to clean and a nice car with his very own driver.

Boy goes back home ... suddenly maid, car, driver, nice apartment, beauty salon and weekends away are replaced with working full time

Would you be keen to go?


if my intention just wanna to live in luxury, then I don't think I want to go. But I never have that in my mind, as I know that I will go where ever my Husband ( Not BF ) go. Even if I have to work hard with him for my own family, I will do it.
Even though I have to admit, I might not keen to go smile
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--'--<@ TeDdYBeAr @>--'--
Appriciate what you have before you lose it
love love love love love love

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#44102 - 09 Feb 07 02:52 Re: Serious Relationship vs Expatriat in Indonesia [Re: here I am]
Jokie Jokie Girl Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 07 Nov 05
Posts: 2552
Loc: Central Jakarta
Quoting: here I am
My question are do most of expatriat that worked in Jakarta don't want to have any serious relationship with Indonesian?


not all! my ex wanna stay here forever becuase of me..but now not anymore grin he told me: "I'm gonna back to my country soon coz there's no reason anymore to stay here in Indo, I can do my job in every where that which I can forget you"...

huhhh..silly reason cry
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"I am the Island girl, born with the humble life, eat on the floor with the right hand"

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#44106 - 09 Feb 07 03:00 Re: Serious Relationship vs Expatriat in Indonesia [Re: TeDdYBeAr]
Jokie Jokie Girl Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 07 Nov 05
Posts: 2552
Loc: Central Jakarta
Quoting: TeDdYBeAr
Quote:
2. Most Indonesian girls would hate to leave Indonesia


I thought it is the other way round Chew ?
Most ( Not all ) of indonesian who has relationship with Bules will want to leave Indonesia if they have chance.


me? dont think so! masalah-nya siapa yang mau bawa saya grin
_________________________
"I am the Island girl, born with the humble life, eat on the floor with the right hand"

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#44109 - 09 Feb 07 03:01 Re: Serious Relationship vs Expatriat in Indonesia [Re: chewwyUK]
Diyu Offline
Member+++

Registered: 12 Nov 05
Posts: 324
Loc: new zealand
Quoting: chewwyUK
I agree -- it all depends on the guy and what they are looking for at the time. If you look at the guys on this site you see a lot of them are married, engaged or in a relationship.

My personal experience has been it’s harder for a bule guy to find a girl to settle down with for a number of reasons:

1. 95% of the girls around the bule are players with the morals of an ally cat

2. Most Indonesian girls would hate to leave Indonesia

3. If you are an Indo girl you start off thinking "all bule sleep around" and if you are a bule guy you think, "is this just a money thing" .. Not a healthy start to any relationship

That may be why some people don’t like to settle down. Of course the other reason could be when you come to Asia for the first time you get more attention from good-looking girls than you have ever experienced before. One day you are in a bar in Grimsby being turned down by some bird that looks like Jo Brand and the next you are in Block M with 21 years old girls telling you how handsome you are. It does mess with people’s brains and I don’t think there is a single guy who didn’t go a little off the rails when first coming to Asia

My advice is if you want to have a serious relationship with a bule you need to go for somebody who has been in Asia for at least three years. It should be out of their system by then




Or in some cases 7 years to get it out of your system
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Here pussy pussy

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#44119 - 09 Feb 07 03:16 Re: Serious Relationship vs Expatriat in Indonesia [Re: Diyu]
Diyu Offline
Member+++

Registered: 12 Nov 05
Posts: 324
Loc: new zealand
Depends on the woman,In our circle of freinds here in Australia. A group of up to a hundred couples ( mixed marriages ie Indonesia, Thailand. Nugini. Phillipines) and many more different nationalities i have not heard of the wife or husband for that matter ever saying they would return to their homeland. It is not for the money that they have married their partners but of a geniune love and acceptance of their partner. You girls, ladies or whatever here on JC should get out and have a look at the many happy couples out here in the world and not to compare all relationships between Indo girls and Bules to that of say Blok M etc. I sense a touch of the old green eyed monster in some of your statements, ( errrr that,s jealousy in western slang )
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Here pussy pussy

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#44138 - 09 Feb 07 04:00 Re: Serious Relationship vs Expatriat in Indonesia [Re: riccardo]
dolphin Offline
Member+++

Registered: 07 Jan 07
Posts: 337
Loc: auckland, nz
Lol Riccardo. Some do and some don't! So many different reasons each person smile
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simply and naturals

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#44154 - 09 Feb 07 04:35 Re: Serious Relationship vs Expatriat in Indonesia [Re: Jokie Jokie Girl]
here I am Offline
Member

Registered: 21 Dec 06
Posts: 15
Loc: Jakarta, Indonesia
Lha how about your recent BF?

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#44155 - 09 Feb 07 04:37 Re: Serious Relationship vs Expatriat in Indonesia [Re: Dilli]
here I am Offline
Member

Registered: 21 Dec 06
Posts: 15
Loc: Jakarta, Indonesia
Maybe U right, Dill.

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#44158 - 09 Feb 07 04:40 Re: Serious Relationship vs Expatriat in Indonesia [Re: Dilli]
here I am Offline
Member

Registered: 21 Dec 06
Posts: 15
Loc: Jakarta, Indonesia
Maybe U right, Dill.

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#44160 - 09 Feb 07 04:41 Re: Serious Relationship vs Expatriat in Indonesia [Re: Diyu]
jok Offline
Member**

Registered: 21 Mar 06
Posts: 1099
Loc: Jakarta
Quoting: Diyu
Depends on the woman,In our circle of freinds here in Australia. A group of up to a hundred couples ( mixed marriages ie Indonesia, Thailand. Nugini. Phillipines) and many more different nationalities i have not heard of the wife or husband for that matter ever saying they would return to their homeland. It is not for the money that they have married their partners but of a geniune love and acceptance of their partner. You girls, ladies or whatever here on JC should get out and have a look at the many happy couples out here in the world and not to compare all relationships between Indo girls and Bules to that of say Blok M etc. I sense a touch of the old green eyed monster in some of your statements, ( errrr that,s jealousy in western slang )



Diyu...., i like your posts.
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Little Jungle Bunny

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#44181 - 09 Feb 07 07:07 Re: Serious Relationship vs Expatriat in Indonesia [Re: Diyu]
Macan Tutul Offline
Pujangga Muda

Registered: 02 Dec 05
Posts: 1502
Loc: Jungle and cage ;)
Quoting: Diyu
Depends on the woman,In our circle of freinds here in Australia. A group of up to a hundred couples ( mixed marriages ie Indonesia, Thailand. Nugini. Phillipines) and many more different nationalities i have not heard of the wife or husband for that matter ever saying they would return to their homeland. It is not for the money that they have married their partners but of a geniune love and acceptance of their partner. You girls, ladies or whatever here on JC should get out and have a look at the many happy couples out here in the world and not to compare all relationships between Indo girls and Bules to that of say Blok M etc. I sense a touch of the old green eyed monster in some of your statements, ( errrr that,s jealousy in western slang )


Yes Diyu, very ring true, to the point smile


Edited by Macan Tutul (09 Feb 07 07:09)
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#44183 - 09 Feb 07 07:14 Re: Serious Relationship vs Expatriat in Indonesia [Re: Macan Tutul]
Capt. Mainwaring Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 16 Aug 06
Posts: 3225
Loc: here
I would also suggest that some of the cynical blokes also do the same thing -
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