10 ways to be annoying when you meet somebody for the first time:

1- Shake his hand, then smell your own.

2- Introduce yourself then whatever his name is, call him Zachary

3- It's a woman, call her Tatiana

4- While he speak, focus your eyes 2 cm left to his eyes

5- Frown your eyebrows each time he say the word "you"

6- Keep saying "uhuh, uhuh" while he speak

7- As soon a he talk for more than one minute, brush off invisible flies around you

8- Slowly point at your nostrill and watch him dig his own for boogers

9- Offer the drinks, then when they arrives argue that you wanted what he ordered and vice versa

10- He's leaving? Scratch your butt before shaking his hand goodbye...
Spiderpig, spiderpig...