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#40372 - 11 Jan 07 07:06 'Grayish whoppers' eat village: report
Piss Salon Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 27 Jun 06
Posts: 4039
Loc: Jakpus
A herd of wild elephants coming in tens of them, have been obtruding Balairaja subdistrict in Riau since weekend, and the number increased to more than forty as of Monday.

The elephants' rush caused local residents to remain nervous and uneasy for those wild animals, honking their trunks while intruding into the village, have damaged four resident houses, eaten plants at the community gardens and undoubtedly scared of the people around.

“I saw them with my naked eyes, at least there were forty of these mammals with long prehensile trunks really vandalizing our civilization,” a Balairaja residents muttered.

Local authorities were reported to not have taken any necessary actions regarding this elephants flee and rather leaving it up to the villagers.

At least seven families were forced to move out of the region due this perturbation, including those whose house crunched by that stampede of large tife-toed animals of the Elephantidae family.

“We feel terrorized by these grayish whoppers, particularly during the night. As people sleep these big ivory monsters wake us up,”said Freddy Simbolon, a Balairaja resident as reported by Antara.

Simbolon has moved his wife and children leaving the villlage.

He and some other adult male inhabitants remained, gearing up for lest the unexpected comeback of the elephants, at anytime.

Another villager whose house was completely smashed by a mass invasion of these four-legged jumbos with tusks claimed that his family were already evacuated.

“Look at my house! It's gone. These animals have eaten anything including my house,” he angered.

“Awhile ago, two big elephants collapsed my house, and they just disappeared behind the bush and came back to gluttonously eat the major of rice fields in the subdistrict,” Simbolon raised his voice raggedly.
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#40379 - 11 Jan 07 09:18 Re: 'Grayish whoppers' eat village: report [Re: Piss Salon]
KuKuKaChu Moderator Offline
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Registered: 09 Oct 05
Posts: 10790
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ah. indonesian "journalists". you have to love them ...

how long did it take for you to clean that one up, piss?
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#40380 - 11 Jan 07 09:41 Re: 'Grayish whoppers' eat village: report [Re: KuKuKaChu]
Dilli Offline
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Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
I'm going there tomorrow! I'll keep my eyes open for the whoppers who eat houses
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#40381 - 11 Jan 07 09:49 Re: 'Grayish whoppers' eat village: report [Re: Dilli]
Piss Salon Offline
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Registered: 27 Jun 06
Posts: 4039
Loc: Jakpus
Isn't it brilliant. You couldn't have been written better by a comedian.

You going to Riau Mr Pickle? What for? I though the whole area was deluged.
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#40382 - 11 Jan 07 09:53 Re: 'Grayish whoppers' eat village: report [Re: Piss Salon]
Dilli Offline
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Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
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I've got a meeting in Duri tomorrow, its dry here at the moment but the threat of it pissing down is imminent. Balairaja Village is very close to Duri, I'll report back on any encounters.

Read the article myself in the JP and giggled a bit.
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#40384 - 11 Jan 07 09:59 Re: 'Grayish whoppers' eat village: report [Re: Dilli]
riccardo Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 12 Oct 05
Posts: 2195
Loc: Jakarta
I'm siding with the Whoppers on this one. They don't have an ounce of malice in them. It's these vile humans, as usual, encroaching upon the animals' ancient habitat.

And indeed, Piss, a comic of the highest order would've been hard-pressed to write something as hilarious. He'll probably be getting an award from the forestry ministry soon.
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#40385 - 11 Jan 07 10:03 Re: 'Grayish whoppers' eat village: report [Re: riccardo]
Dilli Offline
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Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
The bit I ilked was

“I saw them with my naked eyes, at least there were forty of these mammals with long prehensile trunks really vandalizing our civilization,” a Balairaja residents muttered.

Prehensile?

A Balairja residents (Was there more than one)

Muttered?

A cracking read
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#40386 - 11 Jan 07 10:11 Re: 'Grayish whoppers' eat village: report [Re: Dilli]
riccardo Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 12 Oct 05
Posts: 2195
Loc: Jakarta
"Prehensile trunks" is perfectly accurate, but what about "civilization"??? Now that's reaching.
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#40387 - 11 Jan 07 10:12 Re: 'Grayish whoppers' eat village: report [Re: Dilli]
Piss Salon Offline
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Registered: 27 Jun 06
Posts: 4039
Loc: Jakpus
It's great.

Hey, I have found Indonesia's first contribution on the UN security council. Whoops. Read the American comments about par three.


Indonesia circulates draft text on Mideast, US opposes it

POL-UNSC--INDONESIA-ME
Indonesia circulates draft text on Mideast, US opposes it

UNITED NATIONS, Jan 10 (KUNA) -- Indonesia late Tuesday circulated among Security Council members for approval a draft text that would criticize Israel for its military incursion in the West Bank last week and welcoming the separate meetings Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert had with Presidents Hosni Mubarak of Egypt and Mahmoud Abbas of Palestine.

Indonesia's envoy Rezlan Jenie told reporters following the council's private meeting that his delegation's aim is "to try to build up a positive momentum towards the future" in the context of those meetings.

Indonesia joined the council on January 1st for a two-year term.

Acting US envoy Alejandro Wolff told reporters the draft blames only Israel, therefore it is "one-sided" and "unbalanced." "Our view is that it's an unbalanced snapshot of the situation, gives a misleading picture of what's going on. We have Israelis retaliating to terrorist attacks. We've got a security vacuum as a result of the military conflict between Hamas and Fatah in the Palestinian territories as a result of that." "This sort of one-sided statement does not contribute to the effort to promote peace and security and stability in the region. On the contrary, it makes people think that the United Nations can't view this issue objectively," he added.

Diplomats said the council will meet again some other time to discuss the draft but were not optimistic it would be approved.

On a related front, Palestinian envoy Ryadh Mansour told the Secretary General and the council President, Russia, in separate letters issued Tuesday, that "the inability of the international community to act to bring a halt to these serious violations ... has undoubtedly had serious ramifications ... for it has allowed Israel to continue to act with impunity and with flagrant disrespect for the law."(end) sj.

wsa
KUNA 100915 Jan 07NNNN




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#40388 - 11 Jan 07 10:13 Re: 'Grayish whoppers' eat village: report [Re: riccardo]
Dilli Offline
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Registered: 26 Feb 06
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It may be accurate Ricci, but never muttered by Balairaja residents.
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#40390 - 11 Jan 07 10:21 Re: 'Grayish whoppers' eat village: report [Re: Dilli]
riccardo Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 12 Oct 05
Posts: 2195
Loc: Jakarta
Quoting: Dilli
It may be accurate Ricci, but never muttered by Balairaja residents.


Touche!!


And Piss, on the UN deal: OMG that's funny and embarrassing for NKRI, but the rest of the security council had better get used to this sort of NKRI/pro-RoP "logic" for the next 2 years at least.
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#40392 - 11 Jan 07 10:38 Re: 'Grayish whoppers' eat village: report [Re: riccardo]
Piss Salon Offline
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Registered: 27 Jun 06
Posts: 4039
Loc: Jakpus
Exactly Dilli. The journo's interviewing his ... his ... google.
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#40394 - 11 Jan 07 10:56 Re: 'Grayish whoppers' eat village: report [Re: Piss Salon]
KuKuKaChu Moderator Offline
Pooh Bah

Registered: 09 Oct 05
Posts: 10790
Loc: Centre of the Universe
indonesians should be licensed before being allowed to open a thesaurus.
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#40396 - 11 Jan 07 11:03 Re: 'Grayish whoppers' eat village: report [Re: Piss Salon]
Piss Salon Offline
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Registered: 27 Jun 06
Posts: 4039
Loc: Jakpus
Duri eh Dilli? Prickly fellows in them thar parts I hear. Best keep your wits about ya.
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#40398 - 11 Jan 07 11:15 Re: 'Grayish whoppers' eat village: report [Re: Piss Salon]
Dilli Offline
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Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Duri is a one buffalo town, however, Indonesia's largest oil producer is based there and they like me, so occasionally I have to visit them!

Very much a have and have not town, one side is buttfuck no-where Sumatra, the other side is the upmarket Chevron township which is very much dripping with "have"

Incidentally, the road from Pekanbaru to Duri is pretty well accepted as possibly the most dangerous road in Indonesia.

Cover me, I'm going in!
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#40401 - 11 Jan 07 11:17 Re: 'Grayish whoppers' eat village: report [Re: Dilli]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
And there are no bars, no nightclubs, in fact, a whole bunch off fuck all!

On the positive side, there is no MacDonalds or KFC so it cannot be all bad!
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#40409 - 11 Jan 07 11:28 Re: 'Grayish whoppers' eat village: report [Re: Dilli]
KuKuKaChu Moderator Offline
Pooh Bah

Registered: 09 Oct 05
Posts: 10790
Loc: Centre of the Universe
FYI dilli, "duri" means prick. or thorn, if you wanna be technical. thus piss's lame attempt at a joke ...

a duri-an is so called because of its many ... pricks.


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#40659 - 14 Jan 07 08:42 Re: 'Grayish whoppers' eat village: report [Re: KuKuKaChu]
Piss Salon Offline
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Registered: 27 Jun 06
Posts: 4039
Loc: Jakpus
It was lame. Sorry bout that. I try. But thanks for spelling it for dilli in simple English.

And yes KKKC, thesaurus should be banned from all newsrooms.
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#40660 - 14 Jan 07 08:44 Re: 'Grayish whoppers' eat village: report [Re: Piss Salon]
Piss Salon Offline
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Registered: 27 Jun 06
Posts: 4039
Loc: Jakpus
An email from a friend who I sent the grayish whoppers story to.

"Good grief. Looks like it's been through one of those internet translation sites.

Reminds me of a classic headline I saw in the Times of India last year:

"Attempt to defuse land mine with hammer proves fatal.""

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place within us love that truly gives, tenderness that truly unites, self-offering that tells the truth and does not deceive, forgiveness that truly receives, loving physical union that welcomes

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#40661 - 14 Jan 07 08:49 Re: 'Grayish whoppers' eat village: report [Re: Piss Salon]
Piss Salon Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 27 Jun 06
Posts: 4039
Loc: Jakpus
My father's favorite headline was from a story about an Italian balancing precariously atop a bridge in England.

"High tiddly Eyti"
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#42209 - 27 Jan 07 21:43 Re: 'Grayish whoppers' eat village: report [Re: Piss Salon]
Dilli Offline
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Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
They finally caught a whopper and what did they do with it?

Made a slide out of it off course!


Attachments
612-elephant_20slide_small.jpg


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#42210 - 27 Jan 07 21:46 Re: 'Grayish whoppers' eat village: report [Re: Dilli]
Dilli Offline
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Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
While the Indonesian Military had other ideas!


Attachments
613-elephant-missile.gif


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