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#37477 - 30 Nov 06 20:33 When Insults Had Class
Choc_Cow Offline
Member**

Registered: 25 May 06
Posts: 1200
Loc: Di Puncak
Lady Astor once told Winston: "If you were my husband I'd put poison in
your tea!" to which Winston replied: "If you were my wife, I'd drink it!"

At a dinner at which Churchill had drank a bit much, the lady seated next
to him said, "You, sir, are drunk!"
Sir Winston replied, "Yes, madam, and you are ugly, but I shall be sober
in the morning."

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
-- Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
-- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure."
-- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary."
-- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
-- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading

it."
-- Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I
know."
-- Abraham Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
-- Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved
of it."
-- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
-- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a
friend... if you have one."
-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second...if there is
one."
-- Winston Churchill, in response

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
-- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
-- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
-- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
-- Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
-- Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy."
-- Walter Kerr

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
-- Jack E. Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
-- Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human
knowledge."
-- Thomas Brackett Reed

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by
diligent hard work, he overcame them."
-- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
-- Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
-- Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on
it?"
-- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
-- Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts.. .for support rather

than illumination. "
-- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
-- Billy Wilder

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#37478 - 30 Nov 06 20:57 Re: When Insults Had Class [Re: Choc_Cow]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
"Best part of him ran down the inside of my leg at the point of conception!"

My mother, in the company of my workmates, 1990!
_________________________
Menace to Sobriety


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#37482 - 30 Nov 06 21:25 Re: When Insults Had Class [Re: Dilli]
Polar Bear Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 23 Nov 05
Posts: 6177
Cunt!

Dili, 2006

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#37483 - 30 Nov 06 21:52 Re: When Insults Had Class [Re: Polar Bear]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
I try my best!
_________________________
Menace to Sobriety


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#37484 - 30 Nov 06 21:56 Re: When Insults Had Class [Re: Dilli]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Centuries ago a certain Edmund Blackadder had a fine line of put downs.

Here are a few!

"Baldrick, your brain is like the four headed, man-eating haddock fish beast of Aberdeen"
"In what way? "
"It doesn't exist "


"They do say, Mrs M., that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain. They are of course wrong, as you will soon discover...when I stick this toasting fork in your head."

Next One is for Lulu...

"Have you ever been to Wales, Baldrick?"
"No, but I've often thought I'd like to."
"Well don't, it's a ghastly place. Huge gangs of tough sinewy men roam the valleys terrifying people with their close harmony singing. You need half a pint of phlegm in your throat just to pronounce the placenames. Never ask for directions in Wales Baldrick, you'll be washing spit out of your hair for a fortnight."


Baldrick, you wouldn't recognize a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on a harpsicord singing 'subtle plans are here again'.


I fear the words "I have a cunning plan" are rapidly marching towards this conversation with ill-deserved confidence.


"Tell me, Brother Baldrick, what exactly did God do to the Sodomites?"
"I dunno, but I can't imagine it was worse than what they used to do to each other."


I can't see the point in the theatre. All that sex and violence. I get enough of that at home. Apart from the sex, of course.


"I want my mother."
"Ah, yes Baldrick. A maternally crazed gorilla would come in handy at this very moment."


"Ah, Blackadder. Started talking to yourself, I see."
"Yes...it's the only way I can be assured of intelligent conversation."


"I don't take kindly to insults"
"Funny, with a face like yours, I'd have thought you'd be used to it by now."


As a reward, Baldrick, take a short holiday...did you enjoy it?

_________________________
Menace to Sobriety


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#37489 - 30 Nov 06 22:51 Re: When Insults Had Class [Re: Dilli]
Polar Bear Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 23 Nov 05
Posts: 6177
I have to say Dili that Blackadder was one of the funniest shows ever. I have them all on video and still crack up over them....

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#37490 - 30 Nov 06 23:02 Re: When Insults Had Class [Re: Polar Bear]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
My favourite although not a great Rowan Atkinson fan
_________________________
Menace to Sobriety


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#37492 - 01 Dec 06 00:09 Re: When Insults Had Class [Re: Dilli]
Choc_Cow Offline
Member**

Registered: 25 May 06
Posts: 1200
Loc: Di Puncak
Quoting: Dilli
"Best part of him ran down the inside of my leg at the point of conception!"

My mother, in the company of my workmates, 1990!


lol!!!!!!!! She's one cool mom!

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