Talking to the president.............
A couple of Days ago Susillo, the president of Indonesia send the message that everybody who has troubles can call him directly on his mobile phone. As soon as I read this message I didn’t hesitate for a second and called immediately because I had a real problem myself at that moment. The president was as good as his word and the following conversation between us ensued:
Susillo: (after answering) Iahhhhhhhhhhhh…bicara sama siapa?????
Me: Assalam aleikum.. Harry here, is this his Excellence Susillo??
Susillo: Yes…what can I do for you mister Harry??
Me: I have a problem mister president
Susillo: Tell me about your problem I’m here to help
Me: I just had food at Wahrung Fitri in Kemang and the price was 19.600 rupia. I only had a 20.000 rupia bill and a 5000 bill but when I gave the 20.000 bill, she didn’t give me my change of 400 rupia. I asked why she didn’t wanna give me my 400 rupia back but the lady laughed at me and said she didn’t 400 rupia. I said I need this 400 rupia, because my Sampurna is finished and I need exactly 5.400 rupia because that is the price of one pack of Sampurna mild at Pak Yahuni’s vendor stall at Jalan pancak Raya in Kemang.
Susillo: I start to understand it. Because she didn’t give the 400 rupia u cannot buy sigarettes true??
Me: yes mister president you are very clever
Susullo (smiling) Yes, Harry that is why I’m the President. What country are you from Harry??
Me: From Holland Mister President
Susillo: Oooooooooooooh Belanda, what do you think of Van Basten, is he doing a good job???
Me: Never mind Van Basten Mister President, so I was still at the warung and started to cry and shout that I wanted my 400 rupia now, but the lady just laughed at me and told me to fcuk off!!!!!
Susillo: No Harry, I think you misunderstood, Indonesians are always very friendly, they would never say such a thing;
Me: I really heard it mister president, I even have witnesses, because there were two old guys there too who were having dinner.
Susillo: Are you still there Harry??
Me: No I’m at the street in front of Warung Fitri now, actually standing there and asking passers by if they have some money for me.
Susillo: So you are begging now Harry??
Me: Yes mister president, I don’t know another way to get the money, but nobody gave me any money, they only laugh at me when I ask them for some money.
Susillo: Ok Harry do as follows, give your phone to the next person that passes by and I will speak to that person.
So I did, I gave my phone to the next guy that passed me on the street and told him to answer it.
The guy looked scared but put the phone to his ear for about 20 seconds then got completely pale and almost dropped the phone, then he reached in his pocket gave me a 10.000 rupia bill and ran away as fast as he could.
Susillo: Are you still there Harry and did u get money???
Me: yes mister president, he actually gave me too much, 10.000 rupia but I couldn’t say anything cos he left immediately.
Susillo: yes I can understand it, I told the guy that you were a dangerous bule lunatic and that he should give you some money else you would keep talking and complaining to him until his ears dropped of or until he was ready for an insane asylum. Now don’t ever call me again………….If I ever hear from you or hear so much as one complaint about you, you will be deported from the country immediately and believe me I will personally take care of that so be warned…you pathetic bule misfit (he was shouting now)
Me: but…………Mis….i mean Pres……..i mean Mister President…………..but the line had gone dead.
Scheisse.......... i thought i had a whole list of other problems and complaints i wanted to discuss with him: The fact that i cannot get an Indo gf, my washing machine that cannot use hot water, the shortage of parking spots, that Ugly old banci that stalks me every day, the fact that it seems to get hotter every day and that the rains don't come, the price of aqua bottles in the supermarket at Rasuna (40 rupia more expensive then at other places) etc etc...The list is endless.
Edited by dutch_guy (11 Oct 06 11:49)