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#31190 - 06 Jul 06 17:26 Freak sex?
Piss Salon Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 27 Jun 06
Posts: 4039
Loc: Jakpus
The freak accident that left my son obsessed with sex
By BECKY SHEAVES, Daily Mail 09:03am 4th July 2006
Reader comments (9)

A skiing accident left Alexander Laing with severe damage to the frontal lobes of his brain. He has become reckless in his sexual behaviour, losing his inhibitions. His stepmother Deryth, 72, tells BECKY SHEAVES how his family has coped:
An army skiing accident left Alexander Laing, 31, with severe damage to the frontal lobes of his brain. This area controls social and moral judgment, and Alexander, of High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire, has become reckless in his sexual behaviour, losing his inhibitions. Here, his stepmother Deryth, 72, tells BECKY SHEAVES how his worried family has coped.
When I saw Alexander after the accident, I was aghast. He was in intensive care, unconscious and covered in tubes. It was awful. But the Army doctor reassured my husband, Tony, and me that when he woke up he'd be the same as he'd always been.
If only that had been true. Instead, six years later, we have learned what brain injury can do to a fit, confident young man who had his whole life ahead of him.
No inhibitions
Alexander made a fantastic physical recovery, but the damage to his brain has had an extraordinary effect on his sexual behaviour — he has completely lost his inhibitions.
Back in his early 20s, his future was looking so bright. He'd been a difficult teenager, probably because he'd lost his mother to cancer when he was just ten. She was a close friend of mine and I supported Tony, her husband, and his children, Alexander and Joanna, by cooking them a meal every night.
Tony and I grew close and we've now been married for 20 years. Alexander calls me Mum and I think of him as my son. I'd do anything for him, just as I would for my other children.
As a teenager, Alexander went to the military boarding school where his grandfather, a brigadier, had been a commandant.
But he hated it and, at 16, he dropped out and spent a year at home, arguing with us. He refused to study and brought home strange girls to stay the night. He drove us to despair.
A family friend who was a colonel in the Army Air Corps then persuaded him to sign up.
Alexander went for basic training when he was 18 and his life turned round. He got fit and had plenty to keep him busy. He played hockey for the Army and went on exercises in Australia and Germany. The Army was good for him.
In 2000, he decided he wanted to make the Air Corps skiing team. It seemed a long shot as he'd only been on a couple of school skiing trips, but he got a chance go to Lillehammer in Norway to train.
It wasn't as though he was off to a war zone, so I wasn't at all concerned about the trip. But at 11pm on December 4, 2000, there was a knock on the door. It was an Army major, telling us Alexander had been in a serious accident.
He had been skiing behind two other soldiers when he'd hit a bump, fallen backwards and tumbled down the mountain, hitting the front of his head several times.
Tony and I rushed to be with him. We were sick with fear. An MRI scan revealed that the front of his brain had become corrugated by the repeated impacts, but we were told he would recover fully.
It wasn't until Alexander returned to the UK, to an Army hospital in Gosport, Hampshire, that we had an inkling of the problems he faced. He was doing all sorts of bizarre things: kicking off his bed covers, refusing to wear clothes and even sleeping on the floor.
A nurse on the ward had been caring for brain-injured patients for 21 years. She said his behaviour was a textbook case of frontal lobe damage. 'He'll improve for the first two years,' she said. 'But that will be as good as he gets. After that he'll stay the same.' She was right.
At that stage, Alexander could hardly speak and was almost completely paralysed down his left side. I did everything I could think of to stimulate his brain. I took in family photographs and would spend hours showing them to him.
Irreversible damage
One day, a neurologist came to examine him and found that the damage to his frontal lobes was irreversible. We were devastated.
We were told that the brain's frontal lobes play a key role in personality. This was discovered about 160 years ago when a railway worker, Phineas Gage, accidentally drove a metre-long metal pole through the frontal lobes of his brain.
Gage astonished doctors by making a full physical recovery. But his character had changed: he became quick-tempered and foul-natured — very different from his former self.
We were warned that even though Alexander's intelligence could remain intact, his social behaviour could alter radically. But we didn't realise that it would free up his sexual desires.
Alexander went into a rehabilitation centre and things seemed to be going well. But as he grew stronger, the change in his behaviour became more apparent.
He persuaded the centre to discharge him after just six months to a hostel in Kent, where he had heard there were a lot of other young people recovering from accidents. He believed he would have fun there. We soon realised he was far from ready to be living independently.
Obsessed with sex
Alexander was obsessed with sex, but in no position to have a real relationship. He was still physically infirm, mentally vulnerable, impulsive and easily upset.
He got himself a computer, but soon ran up a £600 bill looking at internet pornography. Then he attacked one of the other patients — a recovering stroke victim — who had, he said, been rude to him.
The police were called and Alexander was thrown out of the hostel and put up in a hotel. As he now confesses, he was like 'a dog on heat' and went on a rampage through the hotel completely naked, looking for sex. Again the police were called. This time, he spent the night in a cell.
Alexander then lived with us, but we couldn't cope. He would walk through the house naked and aroused.
But it was his violence I found even more worrying. He picked a lot of fights with his father and I was scared he would do something drastic. Once, he threatened to grab a kitchen knife and attack him. We realised he would have to return to rehab.
Back in the clinic, Alexander spent another three months having intensive cognitive therapy, helping him to read people's body language and understand when he was receiving the brush-off. Slowly, he realised other people have feelings and points of view, too.
A big improvement came when Alexander was prescribed a beta-blocker, which calmed him and took the edge off his violence and sexual risk-taking.
But he's still very 'over-sexed'. It's like a hidden agenda which is always on his mind. Sadly, this is unlikely to change. He is, though, a lot better than he was.
He has learned to treat women as more than objects. Once, when he was in rehab, he took a bus and saw a girl he liked the look of. He moved from the front to the back so that he could spend the journey staring at her breasts. I hope, and believe, he now realises this sort of behaviour is inappropriate.
Aleaxander tends to have relationships with foreign girls. He says it's because he prefers them and he likes their accents. I think there's more to it. British girls can spot quickly that he still speaks with a slight slur and isn't quite 'right'.
Foreign girls don't pick up the signals and so tend to be more receptive to him. After all, he's a good-looking, very fit young man with a kind heart.
Compensation
Tony and I tried to get some financial compensation from the Ministry of Defence, as Alexander wasn't wearing a crash helmet when he had the accident. But the case collapsed and we ended up owing the MoD more than £20,000 in costs.
I'm sure the closeness of our family has helped Alexander to rebuild his life. My son Michael and his wife and two children live near Alexander and often pop in to check on him. He also has a care team and sees his psychiatrist every three to four months.
Alexander has done brilliantly integrating into society. He has moved from sheltered accommodation to his own flat in Milton Keynes, although he comes home to us most weekends. He also goes to salsa classes and is religious, which he had little interest in before. He often goes to church.
He's a good person and I'm proud of the way he is so positive about his life, even though I sometimes find it hard to share his optimism for his future.
The damage to Alexander's frontal lobes seems to have exaggerated his character, although experts aren't sure if this is the case. I think the impulses were always there, but the lack of inhibition means he cannot control himself.
Perhaps one day he will meet a girl with whom he can settle down, and who will love him the way he is, just like we do.
A Channel 4 documentary, Mindshock: Sex On The Brain featuring Alexander Laing and his family, will be shown next Monday at 10pm.
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My son's story is very similar to yours. My heart goes out to you.

He suffered a traumatic brain injury, with injury to his frontal lobes, in a motor vehicle accident 12 years ago at the age of 17.

I have seen improvement in him every year since the accident. There are 2 important events that helped my son. First, he found a good doctor who treated him with the right medications. Second, he saw another doctor in my area that is remarkable in his ability to help people heal of old, severe injuries. After seeing him, my son's speach has cleared, his behaviour is less impulsive and he can walk normally.

- Joseph Testa, Dalton
Pretty unbelievable story. It sounds to me like the family is using the accident as an excuse for the guy's anti-social behavior.

- Jim Carr, Charlotte, NC, USA
This is very tragic indeed. To those of us that enjoy downhill skiing, please, please, please wear a helmet.

- Nick Benson, Norman, Oklahoma, USA

I thought most Englishmen were wankers anyway.
- Piss Salon, Jakpus
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#31191 - 07 Jul 06 10:10 Re: Freak sex?
Ena Offline
Member*

Registered: 26 Nov 05
Posts: 765
Loc: Sydney
ABI ( acquired brain injury) is so sad.
Through my work we see some of these clients, but have to refer them on. Can you imagine just not being able to control or comprehend what it is you have just done-so many times we see families just facing these horrible circumstances.
How about in Indo? In my husbands family there a couple of relatives( like distant family) who have quite severe disabilities, one is from a fever when a child-this guy just basically lives on the floor cant talk,move,control body functions, and one has schizophrenia( brought on by being a dickhead drug dealer/user when studying overseas...) and did a stint in jail in jakarta because he , anyway, because he did something very wrong while psychotic.If these people did not have their family to look after them they would just be dead. What sort of social programs do you have there now? From memory I wasnt aware of any, I dont know if this was because chinese family keep it all inside the family or if there were just none available?
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#31192 - 07 Jul 06 12:16 Re: Freak sex?
Polar Bear Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 23 Nov 05
Posts: 6177
Many of the homeless, mentally ill people on the streets of Sydney (and London, New York, Paris etc) can trace their illness directly back to drugs. I could cheerfully smash the heads in on any drug dealer, or any idiot who says “drugs don’t do any harm”

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#31193 - 07 Jul 06 12:21 Re: Freak sex?
Polar Bear Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 23 Nov 05
Posts: 6177
With regard to schizophrenia we all have a degree of it within our head, and in some ways it is healthy. It allows us many of the functions we take for granted. Imagination, lateral thinking, creativity, fear, are all subsets of it.

In most cases we have sufficient understanding and “grip” to recognise it and control it. The problems occur when an incident prevents us form doing so. Drugs, head injury, shock, trauma, or even an abnormal childhood can prevent us from distinguishing it from reality.

If indeed reality does exist.

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#31194 - 07 Jul 06 12:55 Re: Freak sex?
Macan Tutul Offline
Pujangga Muda

Registered: 02 Dec 05
Posts: 1502
Loc: Jungle and cage ;)
Quote:
Originally posted by The One and Only Polar Bear:
I could cheerfully smash the heads in on any drug dealer, or any idiot who says “drugs don’t do any harm”
Absolutely, how many young people or family or everyone who hurt and suffer because of drugs, how many sacrifice and grave.....
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#31195 - 07 Jul 06 19:07 Re: Freak sex?
Piss Salon Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 27 Jun 06
Posts: 4039
Loc: Jakpus
Here I was thinking drugs just made you wonderfully high.

And anyway, doesn’t Alexander just seem like a normal young ‘adult’ after a few ales?

Here are the edited highlights of the story that I thought most interesting.

An army skiing accident left Alexander Laing, 31, with severe damage to the frontal lobes of his brain. This area controls social and moral judgment, and Alexander, of High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire, has become reckless in his sexual behaviour, losing his inhibitions.

Alexander made a fantastic physical recovery, but the damage to his brain has had an extraordinary effect on his sexual behaviour — he has completely lost his inhibitions.

It wasn't until Alexander returned to the UK, to an Army hospital in Gosport, Hampshire, that we had an inkling of the problems he faced. He was doing all sorts of bizarre things: kicking off his bed covers, refusing to wear clothes and even sleeping on the floor.

We were warned that even though Alexander's intelligence could remain intact, his social behaviour could alter radically. But we didn't realise that it would free up his sexual desires.

Alexander was obsessed with sex, but in no position to have a real relationship. He was still physically infirm, mentally vulnerable, impulsive and easily upset. He got himself a computer, but soon ran up a £600 bill looking at internet pornography.

The police were called and Alexander was thrown out of the hostel and put up in a hotel. As he now confesses, he was like 'a dog on heat' and went on a rampage through the hotel completely naked, looking for sex.

But he's still very 'over-sexed'. It's like a hidden agenda which is always on his mind.

He has learned to treat women as more than objects. Once, when he was in rehab, he took a bus and saw a girl he liked the look of. He moved from the front to the back so that he could spend the journey staring at her breasts.

Aleaxander tends to have relationships with foreign girls. He says it's because he prefers them and he likes their accents. I think there's more to it. British girls can spot quickly that he still speaks with a slight slur and isn't quite 'right'. Foreign girls don't pick up the signals and so tend to be more receptive to him. After all, he's a good-looking, very fit young man with a kind heart.
_________________________
place within us love that truly gives, tenderness that truly unites, self-offering that tells the truth and does not deceive, forgiveness that truly receives, loving physical union that welcomes

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