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#29902 - 29 Jan 06 07:34 AT/Whose English is it?
WebMaster Moderator Offline
Member

Registered: 12 Oct 05
Posts: 10
Loc: Jakarta
From Asia Times Online http://www.atimes.com/atimes/South_Asia/HA28Df01.html

BOOK REVIEW

Whose English is it?
Asian Englishes: Beyond the Canon

by Braj B Kachru Buy this book

Reviewed by Martin A Schell

So long as the English language is universal, it will always remain Indian.
- Raja Rao

Affirming that English belongs to everyone, Braj B Kachru ranges wide in subject matter and geography, challenging many assumptions that he attributes to residual aspects of colonialism. His approach is kaleidoscopic: instead of proving his assertions with a linear sequence of logic, he shows numerous facets that fit like the pieces of a puzzle.

A native of Kashmir, Kachru holds joint professorships in linguistics and comparative literature at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, where he has taught for the past four decades. That combination of specialties is the source of both the brilliance and the flaws of this jewel of a book.

The topic is timely, given the large number of countries using the global language, many of them now requiring English classes in elementary schools. Kachru's writing is always lively - and occasionally witty - as he moves gracefully back and forth from details about phonology and lexical sets to abstractions about culture and identity.

His main thesis can be framed by a pair of questions: Is the English language inevitably linked with Western culture? Or is it a tool or instrument that can be applied to local commerce and literature, like adapting the design of an automobile to fit life in Japan or using a violin to play an Indian raga?

After introducing key terms in Chapter 1, Kachru presents striking statistics and a set of concepts in Chapter 2 to support his answer of "yes" to the second question. He believes that anglophones in Asia have the right to determine the direction of their own varieties of a language that is no longer owned by the people for whom it was named.

Chief among the concepts is his model of three concentric circles that has become standard among linguists since he formulated it in 1985. The Inner Circle consists of Great Britain and the countries settled by it, whose people are called native speakers of English in the mainstream media and English-language teaching (ELT) industry. The Outer Circle surrounding it consists of countries that have institutionalized the English language to one degree or another in the aftermath of being colonized by the British (or by the Americans in the case of the Philippines). Finally, the Expanding Circle consists of all other countries (eg, Japan, China, South Korea, Indonesia) that are promoting the study of English as a foreign language (EFL) by their populations.

Kachru claims majority rights for Asian anglophones on the basis of a startling statistic: a total of 533 million people in China and India "use" English. As he explains in Chapter 11, the component figure of 200 million English "users" in China is a 1995 estimate by Zhao Yong and Keith Campbell, who tallied the number of students in China during 1982-91 and extrapolated for 1992-94. They assumed that everyone who graduated junior high school after passing an English exam "uses" English. The figure of 333 million for India is Kachru's update of "almost one in every three Indians" reported in a 1997 survey commissioned by the magazine India Today.

The total of 533 million may draw gasps from readers who are familiar with articles that followed in the wake of David Graddol's "The Future of English?" report in 1997. For example, Stefan Lovgren's "English in decline as a first language, study says" in National Geographic News (February 26, 2004) noted that the Inner Circle's percentage of the world's population is shrinking. However, Graddol himself pointed out that many English speakers in India and Nigeria are "migrating" toward first-language status. Kachru mentions such a shift in regard to Singapore (p 2) and takes the point a step further, explaining that "functional nativeness" should replace the concept of native speaker because the boundary between native and non-native has become blurry.

The first edition of Graddol's report coincided with Hong Kong's return to China, which precipitated a shift in the former colony from Cantonese to Mandarin. As a result, media coverage often combined the "decline of English" theme with the "rise of Mandarin", citing billion-sized figures for the number of native speakers of Mandarin. However, the National Language Commission of the People's Republic of China (PRC) threw cold water on these estimates last May by announcing that only 53% of China could speak Mandarin, and many of those people prefer to speak a more familiar Chinese language ("Half of all Chinese people can't speak Mandarin: Report", Taipei Times, May 23, 2005).

In Chapter 3, Kachru presents a convincing case for a regional variety called South Asian English (SAE). Readers who enjoy etymology will revel in this long and fascinating chapter. In addition to mentioning words that English borrowed from India's languages (bungalow, coolie, jungle, etc), he gives an account of the landmark 1835 decision to institute English as the language of colonial education in India, and also discusses the political fortunes of English after independence in 1947. The sample letters in Babu English may remind readers of the style seen in Nigerian scam e-mails.

Chapter 4 focuses on Japan. Although Mori Arinori and several other 19th-century scholars recommended shifting the national language to English, English has no institutionalized status there. So, despite its heavy emphasis on English in education and business, Japan is part of the Expanding Circle. Indeed, this chapter is almost devoid of examples of so-called "Japanese English" - all of the loan words cited are evidence of English embedded in the Japanese language. For example, when I lived in Tokyo, I heard the Japanese say "white shirt" when speaking English but waishatsu when speaking their native language. By analogy, if Americans sprinkle their English discourse with such phrases as karate sensei or aikido dojo, no one would claim to be speaking a new variety of Japanese called "American Nihongo".

The remaining chapters are devoted to: a broad look at convergence and hybridization of English with local languages; an attack on the "myths" of the English for specific purposes (ESP) industry; a thorough look at the implications of modern writers using Indian English as their medium for literature; a balanced discussion about whether English "kills" endangered languages; a critique of English pedagogy in Asia; and an overview that includes a few pages about colloquial Singaporean English ("Singlish").

The subtitle Beyond the Canon refers to Kachru's challenge to the Inner Circle's monopoly on canons of correctness and creativity. In his praise of Raja Rao and others who write literature in SAE, Kachru transcends the dichotomy of imitation versus rejection that polarized local attitudes toward English on the subcontinent for much of the 20th century. He enthusiastically insists that Asians can use English to express their own cultural heritage.

Kachru praises the "linguistic hybridity" of The Chessmaster and His Moves in which Rao uses three European and five Indian languages. This multilingualism may well be a pinnacle of creativity, but Kachru seems to have a chip on his shoulder when he writes, "The burden of linguistic and cultural intelligibility and interpretation is on the reader" (p 144). Why should the burden be on the reader? Communication involves two parties, who share responsibility for comprehension. Kachru's attitude comes from the legacy of colonialism, which was so thoroughly imbued with oppression that the colonizer usually did insist that the burden of understanding was on the colonized.

The persistent demand for redress seems to be his motivation for conflating actual varieties of English in the Outer Circle (eg, SAE, Singlish, Malaysian, Hong Kong) with potential varieties in the Expanding Circle (eg, Japanese, Chinese) under the rubric Asian Englishes. Does it make sense to combine 333 million Indians whose English heritage goes back nearly two centuries with 200 million Chinese who began studying English two decades ago? I suppose it does if one is trying to rally disparate forces under a single banner in an assault on the authority of the Inner Circle.

How many of those 333 million foot soldiers are able to make sense of the multilingual novels written by their literary generals? This is where Kachru's literary expertise becomes a liability, because it reinforces "privileging writing above speech", an ivory-tower tendency noted by David Crystal. In living languages, spoken words generally outnumber written ones, and expository documents outnumber literary works.

The heart of the matter is speech, not writing. The former is rooted in subconscious collective knowledge or tacit consensus, which is why the Academie Francaise and the government of Singapore repeatedly fail in their attempts to proscribe usage. It is conversation, not literature, that generates a new variety of English. Bilingual novels that express the maturity of Indian English promote that variety's identity, but they did not create it. Innovative "Japanese English" advertising slogans are not evidence of a new variety because people read those phrases far more often than they speak them.

More to the point, Japanese anglophones differ greatly from Singaporeans because they rarely use English among themselves unless a foreigner is present. Without a critical mass of speakers to generate norms, how can a hybridization like "Japanese English" be called an independent variety? Indeed, Kachru himself separates norm-providing and norm-dependent countries (p 19), which appear to fall on opposite sides of the answer to the question, "Do compatriots often speak English with each other?"

Although I agree that the Inner Circle needs to become more flexible in both ear and ideology, I think it is presumptuous to discount native-speaker expertise as nothing more than a vestige of imperialism. The flip side of Kachru's praise of the "invisible functions" of English in Japan is that the Japanese themselves are deeply appreciative of the invisible skill of an expatriate editor performing a "native check". In contrast, lack of general knowledge about Western culture leads local translators in such places as Indonesia to make bizarre mistakes, such as rendering the name of the US tabloid National Enquirer as "National Cloud" in a movie subtitle.

Kachru's repeated invocation of the term "linguistic ecology" can also be turned against his cause: if one considers time to be as valid a dimension as space, then the rejection of established canons of English in the name of modern diversity is like cutting down first-growth forest to plant a vegetable garden. The specious analogy with biological niches implies that only certain combinations of languages can succeed in a given environment, a notion that we New Yorkers would find laughable.

Given that the number of Englishes is likely to increase, what is the future of mutual intelligibility? Kachru touches on this question in his criticism of ESP but he avoids discussing international standards, perhaps because he assumes that the right to establish new canons means forging a global consensus will be impossible. Yet as the pro- and anti-Singlish battle has shown, it is likely that the formal registers of Asian Englishes (especially in the written mode) will diverge more slowly than the new vernaculars.

It is true that elite Asian anglophones have a vested interest in the linguistic status quo. I taught with several at universities in Thailand and saw how they looked askance at expatriate teachers who accepted the type of local linguistic innovation that Kachru promotes so fervently. But such conservatives are right to ask, "Shouldn't the variety of English we teach our compatriots be as universally recognizable as possible?"

Finally, I feel compelled to comment on the production of this book by the Hong Kong University Press. Although Kachru's volume has clean printing on lovely white pages, its non-physical substance is deficient. The editors should have checked that Manx was spoken on the Isle of Man (not the "Isle of Manx") and the adjective relating to Vishnu is Vaishnava (not "Yaishnava"). Tables 2.1 and 11.2 have errors, and Prince Charles deserves to have his given name capitalized just as much as commoners do.

Other errors that suggest a blind reliance on spell-checker software include "various label", "now its is", and the typo "Whiteworth" inside a paragraph that twice spelled the man's name correctly as Whitworth. Even the author's name is misspelled as "Karchu" (p 253) and "Karchru" (p 288). Proper editing - in any canon - requires the attention of a human being who understands the text.

It was in a spirit of brotherhood that the Bengali Nobelist Rabindranath Tagore, upon arriving at the port of Jakarta in 1927, remarked, "I see India everywhere, but I do not recognize it." In this light, an Inner Circle anglophone in Asia who says "I see English everywhere, but I do not recognize it" should not be presumed arrogant.

Martin Schell is the founder of American Services In Asia, a consulting firm based in his wife's hometown of Klaten, Central Java. He is an Adjunct Professor of Communications at NYU's Stern School of Business and the author of Developing a Global Perspective for Knowledge Management.

Asian Englishes: Beyond the Canon by Braj B Kachru. Oxford University Press 2005. ISBN: 019567833-8. Hardcover price US$42.50, 333 pages.

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#29903 - 29 Jan 06 07:45 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
Polar Bear Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 23 Nov 05
Posts: 6177
Its a pity that the English language is called English. If it were called Earthspeak or something maybe a lot of people would be more comfortable speaking it.

form my persepctive (born and bred in England, and damn proud of it) English language belongs to everyone. The language intself contains a wide mix of other languages. Latin features strongly, a lot of French words have been adopted, a lot of indian and Chinese.

Feel free to improve it!

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#29904 - 30 Jan 06 14:41 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
dee Offline
Member+

Registered: 10 Nov 05
Posts: 59
Loc: Jakarta
I guess english language is universal language that everyone are ought to understand especially nowadays where Globalism is around the corner.. Although an awkwardness often occured in tracing the origin of english language, I think for me that is a common things..

The movie Memoirs of Geisha, most of the cast are comes from China and they used English as a tools for communicate, while in fact the movie was based on Japanese Literature and it should be used Japanese language as its communicating tools wink

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#29905 - 30 Jan 06 16:04 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
Polar Bear Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 23 Nov 05
Posts: 6177
The problem comes when people confuse using English to communicate, with understanding the beauty of English literature.

In my experience non English speakers do not fully understand the construction of the English language. I include Americans and Australians here.....

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#29906 - 30 Jan 06 22:41 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
cherry Offline
Member**

Registered: 08 Nov 05
Posts: 1055
Loc: Indonesia
yeah..english language is very importent for at this time..

I'd tried to improve my english by taking conversation with many people...
but I still felt that my english is fuck off!
there's no develop, even uglier..and sometimes I was shocked shocked shocked with my self especially to the people who i was asking to take conversation...
but what should I do? I live in Indo with bahasa everyday evertime and any where...
whereas my job demand me to expert in english...
I also tried to take conversation with my all freinds in office, but we always forget and back to bahasa..yeah we really love bahasa!
I just say to my self that "Cherry whatever you do to improve your english you'll sty stupid!"
ohhhh...dammnnnn my english is very..very fuck off! is there any one here want to help Cherry?

but..but..I'm confused , why i speak english fluently when I date with bule on the bed?

my imagination was filled with Blue movie messta and also the western movie messta! so that's why maybe i speak english fluetly on the bed...
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#29907 - 31 Jan 06 00:21 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
juminten Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 08 Dec 05
Posts: 3870
Loc: disana-disini
Cherry, there are many-many Indo people speak english fluently, excellent both in grammar and conversations without leaving the country. Most my friends who live and work in Jakarta are speaking in English, and are better than my english. They learn from school, taking English class and read! My little niece she is only 14, and she speaks fluent English by learning from school, books,TV (CNN, ABN, etc), CDs and books I sent her.
I live here in the US, still my english is belepotan , you wont believe there are many Americans still don't know how to write in English properly, yes..its true!
So, don't feel bad just keep learning and practice! practise here with PB, with bule in bed..why not! talk dirty in English, moan in English wink
I do :p
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I need more money and power and less shit from you people!

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#29908 - 31 Jan 06 05:51 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
Polar Bear Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 23 Nov 05
Posts: 6177
Yes, Hi Cherry, you can practice with me!

Your English is better than you think!

Some people can master new languages very easy, for others it is more difficult. But anyone can learn.

Try listening to English radio programs. The BBC World News is deliberately read slowly and correctly, to allow people to understand.

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#29909 - 31 Jan 06 06:02 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
Polar Bear Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 23 Nov 05
Posts: 6177
One afteroon i was having coffee at Darling Harbour. The cafe ws very crowded, and i was sitting alone at a table for four. A Chinese couple approached my table, obviously in need of somewhere to sit.

in the most amazing engish aristocratic accent the man asked:

"Excuse me old boy, do you mind awfully if we join you at your table".

The accent was just perfect. I said "wow, you speak Engish very well". The man told me his father was a Judge in Hong Kong, and has sent his son all the way to England to Public (private) school. The man had read law at Oxfoed, before going back to Kong Kong where he was now a lawyer.

I was so jealous of this perfect Englsh accent - it was even better than mine!

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#29910 - 31 Jan 06 07:55 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
juminten Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 08 Dec 05
Posts: 3870
Loc: disana-disini
Quote:
Originally posted by dee:
I guess english language is universal language that everyone are ought to understand especially nowadays where Globalism is around the corner.. Although an awkwardness often occured in tracing the origin of english language, I think for me that is a common things..

The movie Memoirs of Geisha, most of the cast are comes from China and they used English as a tools for communicate, while in fact the movie was based on Japanese Literature and it should be used Japanese language as its communicating tools wink
Did you see MUNICH? why didn't they use hebrew? why they starring Australian and English?
Or EVITA? why they chose Madonna for Eva Peron? why didn't they use "espanol" but english??
If you want to go international, then you have no choice, you have to use english as a tool to sell your products.

BTW, Memoirs of Geisha is a terrible movie I heard..not worth to sit inside the theater for 2 hrs.
_________________________
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#29911 - 31 Jan 06 09:01 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
Polar Bear Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 23 Nov 05
Posts: 6177
"i was not born to be Ayam......"

Memoirs of an Ayam, coming to a movie theatre near you now, stariing

Inggrit "Big Doobs" Brown

Dee "double D cup size" Dee

Jakgirl the gym bunny

Jokgirl as herself

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#29912 - 31 Jan 06 21:07 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
cherry Offline
Member**

Registered: 08 Nov 05
Posts: 1055
Loc: Indonesia
Quote:
Originally posted by JakGirl:
Cherry, there are many-many Indo people speak english fluently, excellent both in grammar and conversations without leaving the country. Most my friends who live and work in Jakarta are speaking in English, and are better than my english. They learn from school, taking English class and read! My little niece she is only 14, and she speaks fluent English by learning from school, books,TV (CNN, ABN, etc), CDs and books I sent her.
I live here in the US, still my english is belepotan , you wont believe there are many Americans still don't know how to write in English properly, yes..its true!
So, don't feel bad just keep learning and practise! practise here with PB, with bule in bed..why not! talk dirty in English, moan in English wink
I do :p
yeps I did everything how to improve my english, and i knew that there're many indonesian people speak english fluently...
you know I Never stop to learning more and more..
and a reason why I moved from my last office to my new office now because of that! and I'm trying always to improving my english..!
and also why I joint JakChat because I want to practice my english with the expart people here!

moaning in english? how come?

commonly I was moaning just like..ohhhhhhhhhhhhgg or aghhhhhhhhhhh or sometimes called the name of my partner on bed, for an example PBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB...noooooo...PBBBBBBBBBBBB yessssss!
is it mean moaning in English JG? wink
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#29913 - 31 Jan 06 21:22 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
cherry Offline
Member**

Registered: 08 Nov 05
Posts: 1055
Loc: Indonesia
Quote:
Originally posted by Polar Bear:
Yes, Hi Cherry, you can practice with me!

Your English is better than you think!

Some people can master new languages very easy, for others it is more difficult. But anyone can learn.

Try listening to English radio programs. The BBC World News is deliberately read slowly and correctly, to allow people to understand.
thank you PB,
there's a few of people said that my english good enough..but I can't believe that..i felt my english still fuck off!

could you be my teacher in home PB? wink or you marry me before.. wink
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#29914 - 01 Feb 06 05:16 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
Polar Bear Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 23 Nov 05
Posts: 6177
When can we start Darling....

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#29915 - 25 Feb 06 08:29 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
g00f13 Offline
Member*

Registered: 12 Nov 05
Posts: 739
Loc: earth
"One's English is good enough" or "one's English is still shit".

Which of the above statement is preferable? Myself? I'd pick the second one. That way I will push myself to improve my English not just contend with 'close enough is good enough'. Y'know I came to Oz when I was 18, being from Bali naturally I know a bit of Banglish and feeling proud. How surprise I was with the stuff thrown at me. Within the first 2 years I decided to improve my situation. Don't ask me why it took that long. Suffice to say that without the helps of several bule GFs and a lot of horizontal dancing and bending overs (I was the one bending over though...he heh he). I finally am able to hold and understand and laugh at the conversation eventhough I still feel the need to improve. Y'know the one thing the spurred me was not the chance of meeting hot chicks, it was actually the feeling of embarrasment if and when I go back to Bali and my Engligh was still Banglish.

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#29916 - 25 Feb 06 12:31 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
Polar Bear Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 23 Nov 05
Posts: 6177
no one speaks perfect English, because its an international language, and because (like bahasa) it is an evolving language.

If people understand what you mean, the purpose of thelanguage is achieved.

Goof Dude - your language is far from shit!!!

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#29917 - 25 Feb 06 16:25 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
Ena Offline
Member*

Registered: 26 Nov 05
Posts: 765
Loc: Sydney
Well I think everyones english on here is fine. I am embarrased about my BI-I am even married 8 years to an indo and still speak like a simpleton in Indonesian.Thats embarrasing. Meanwhile my husband speaks fluently in english and indo
( jakarta style) and some wierd arse chinese dialect that probably only exist in Jakarta-if he went to china they would think he was speaking korean or something. LOL.
But he said that when he was in Jakarta at Xmas, he couldnt understand some of the new slang his little sister and her friends using, he cant get it because its all local jokes and stuff he doesnt have any clue what does it refer to.
Could be worse, we could all be made to learn Esparanta LOL.
I really like how indonesianus ethe language for humour.
Can anyone remember any of those jokes from the period of krismon when all the banks closed? The acronyms were used to make fun, also something about that timor tommy car thingy.I just forget, but I rememeber it was hilarious.
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#29918 - 25 Feb 06 17:03 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
Polar Bear Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 23 Nov 05
Posts: 6177
One of the best things about Indonesian people (apart from the girls smiles) is the sense of humour and fun.

It is very simliar to English humour, especially Liverpool(liverpool is a big port city in England). Just like Liverpudlians, Indonesians seem to see the funny side or any situation. It makes working with them seem fun.

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#29919 - 25 Feb 06 18:28 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
Polar Bear Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 23 Nov 05
Posts: 6177
mind you:

INDONESIAN HOTEL ROOM SERVICE:

Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees."

Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

RS: "Rye.Roon sirbees.morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen?"

G: "Uh.yes.I'd like some bacon and eggs."

RS: "Ow July den?"

G: "What?"

RS: "Ow July den?.pryed, boyud, poochd?"

G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them?

Sorry, scrambled please."

RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"

G: "Crisp will be fine."

RS : "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"

G: "What?"

RS:"An toes. July Sahn toes?"

G: "I don't think so."

RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes?"

G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."

RS: "Toes! toes!.Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"

G: "English muffin! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

RS: "We bodder?"

G: "No.just put the bodder on the side."

RS: "Wad?"

G: "I mean butter.just put it on the side."

RS: "Copy?"

G: "Excuse me?"

RS: "Copy.tea.meel?"

G: "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all."

RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy.rye?"

G: "Whatever you say."

RS: "Tenjewberrymuds."

G : "You're very welcome."

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#29920 - 25 Feb 06 19:04 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
Jokie Jokie Girl Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 07 Nov 05
Posts: 2552
Loc: Central Jakarta
Quote:
Originally posted by Polar Bear:
no one speaks perfect English, because its an international language, and because (like bahasa) it is an evolving language.

If people understand what you mean, the purpose of thelanguage is achieved.

Goof Dude - your language is far from shit!!!
you're right PB, sometimes I was taking conversation with many people without grammar and sometimes I dont care, but the most importent how to improve my eglish and how to make my partner in talikng to be understanding with what I'm talking about... smile
see, my english is not very well...
buuuttt..gue pd-pd aja tuh.. wink
_________________________
"I am the Island girl, born with the humble life, eat on the floor with the right hand"

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#29921 - 25 Feb 06 19:30 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
kumar Offline
Member+

Registered: 08 Feb 06
Posts: 122
Loc: Jakarta
Funny English Notices Around the World!

Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world.
In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: Drop your trousers here for best results.

Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.

In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

A sign posted in Germany's Black forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

In a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.

In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: - English well talking. - Here speeching American
_________________________
Take care, not too much, be good, not too much, keep lubricated, never enough!

It was simply excellent, it was simply sensual, it was simply sublime.

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#29922 - 25 Feb 06 19:51 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
Polar Bear Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 23 Nov 05
Posts: 6177
LOL LOL LOL LOL smile smile smile

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#29923 - 26 Feb 06 17:45 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
cool Offline
Member

Registered: 27 Feb 06
Posts: 2
Loc: India
HI

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#29924 - 26 Feb 06 17:46 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
cool Offline
Member

Registered: 27 Feb 06
Posts: 2
Loc: India
HELLO

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#29925 - 26 Feb 06 17:58 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
Polar Bear Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 23 Nov 05
Posts: 6177
Well hello Cool, i see you are a man of few words...

Where in India are you?

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#29926 - 27 Feb 06 11:48 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
Jokie Jokie Girl Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 07 Nov 05
Posts: 2552
Loc: Central Jakarta
Quote:
Originally posted by cool:
HI
hiiiii....welcome to JakChat..nice to meet you

keep join ok
_________________________
"I am the Island girl, born with the humble life, eat on the floor with the right hand"

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