The Polar Bear diaries (or how life can really fuck up):
Last night I went to a whiskey tasting evening with friends. I had a HUGE argument with Yolanda in the afternoon, so I was totally pissed off to find her there. She came and sat next to me for the night, which really was unfair.
I ignored her. She started being rude to me, saying I was childish etc. I promptly drank as much of the free whiskey that I could.
Staggering outside, I discovered that a group of us had decided to go for dinner – Thai. I said I was off to a bar, however Yolanda dragged me with her. She probably wanted someone to pay.
After dinner (eaten in a cold silence) I physically pushed her into a cab, gave the driver 20 dollars and told him to take her home. I then hit a noisy bar. Yolanda then phoned me – ostensibly to say goodnight, but in reality to tell me not to drink any more, not to pick up any girls, and tell me I was childish again. I hung up.
At the bar I found a fat girl with the lowest top I have seen for months. Her tits were just hanging right out, and when I looked closer she had a large cherry tattooed on the inside of each breast…
Her name was Lilis, and she is from Jakarta. I got her drunk (at great cost) and took her home for a damn good sausaging. She looks for all the world like Rizki Pritasari. But fatter (and Rizki isn’t thin…!). http://indonesian-celebrities.blogspot.com/2006/07/rizki-pritasari-she-can-pinch-more.html
About 2am Yolanda phones again ‘to see if I am drunk. Lilis starts complaining, so I get up, put HER in a cab and give ANOTHER driver 20 dollars to get her home.
I go back upstairs, grab another beer, and put on a face mask to moisturise my skin (I use 3 a week). But lying in bed with the mask on I fell asleep. I woke up at 4am unable to breath because the wet mask has slipped over my nose and mouth.
I don’t know why I bother anymore. There has to be a better life than this.
Even worse, Pat is singing on Sudnay afternoon, and Yolanda tells me she is going.
I have found half a box of ammunition under the bed…..