Some may have heard this, but I like it!!!
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Snow White, Tom Thumb and Quasimodo were talking one day about trying to get in the Guinness Book of Records.

Snow White says, "I know I am the most beautiful person in the world, I will get in easily"
Tom Thumb says, "I am the smallest person in the world, I will get in easily too."
Quasimodo says, "I am the ugliest person in the world so dead easy for me to get in the book."

So off they go, down to the office of the Guiness Book of Records.

Snow White goes in first and comes back out beaming, "It's official, I AM the most beautiful person."
Tom Thumb is next to go in and come out happy, "Yup, I'm officially the smallest person in the world."
Quasimodo says, "My turn, this is easy". After a few seconds he comes out all upset and says, "Who the fuck is Camila Parker-Bowles?"
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Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes