You can hide but you can't run!!!!

Walking around or going about in Jakarta always makes me feel like I’m the retarded, physically impaired, uglier and evil brother of the elephant man. Why I feel like this?? Well I cannot help comparing myself to the slim, elegant, nubile and sexy Indonesians (males and females alike) always negotiating holes, potholes, rubbish
heaps, puddles with dirty water, etc with sheer ease and grace, while in the same time not getting a single dirty spot on their clothes, nor even developing the slightest sweat. Their clothes always look as if they have been freshly washed and ironed 2 minutes ago.
Compare this with me, I can’t walk 5 minutes before I’m sweating like a racehorse while my clothes look like I have been working for 5 days straight in a coal mine (without shower and change).
The drinking (not alcohol but I just mean the activity) habit of Indonesians doesn’t cease to amaze me. It seems they can get by for days on one single glass of air putih. (and they wouldn’t even finish that glass) Last week I had a meeting Musyawaraan in an office in the sweltering heat (AC had just died and gone to heaven) It must have been about 55 degrees in the office and the meeting lasted for about 4 hours. The meeting was held between me and 3 indonesian guys. I was so bloody thirsty I gulped down one glass of water after the other (I lost count after glass number 12) and I looked like I had just had a shower and forgotten to take my clothes off while showering. All during the
Meeting I kept watching the indo guys closely trying to find evidence of humanity in the shape of sweat drops developing on their brows.
Smetimes I thought I saw a drop of sweat on one guy’s brow but when looking closer it always turned out to be just a trick of the light. While I was drinking and sweating like an army these guys had one glass of aqua in front of them during the whole meeting. When the meeting was finished one of the Indonesians had finished his glass half, the other one had finished it about two thirds and the last guy had finished it about 80 percent.
There is a new restaurant in my area and last night I decided to check it out. It looks classy and upscale and I already checked the prices and menu. Prices are on the steep side and the menu looks mouthwatering.
So last evening I dressed up and set sail to my new eatery. Real VIP treatment I did receive there, Frontdoor was opened by a boy with a big grin and I was not only led but almost carried to a table where another boy held out a chair, best seat of the house (I was the only guest). I decided on a delicious Ikan bakar (Red Snapper my favourite) with kentang goring in special sauce and sajur. The boys (fresh from east Java) didn’t speak English but that is no problem since I speak fluent bahasa and I have fingers also to point out the food items I want. I was hungry and fish (especially red snapper being my favourite) I really looked forward to my meal.

It took about 20 minutes when he boy came to my table with the dishes: A red ried part of chicken (ayam dada) in his one hand and on top of that a nice rounded helping of nasi putih, and again on top of that a small tray of vegetables.
He put it all on my table with the biggest smile I ever saw. This is not what I ordered I told him, unless red snapper has developed wings and chicken bodies, and I didn’t know that kentang goring is the same as white rice. Sorry pak,the boy said but fish and kentang finish. Well couldn’t he tell this beforehand when I ordered I thought. I could have gotten this meal in any street stall of warung for 13.000 rp instead of 75.000 but what the heck, a meal is a meal and I decided not to complain more. I dunno how long this restaurant will last though.
Concerning my love life in Jkt (I had many questions about it) it is virtually non-existent (however my left hand and (when I’m in a naughty mood) my right hand would not agree with me) I’m suffering from a bad case of “older brother syndrome”
Believe me folks this is worse than having HIV and Lepra combined. Older brother syndrome means that every girl I ever met and ever will meet in Indonesia sees me as a shoulder to cry on, somebody to get advice from, somebody to look with for consolation. Believe me I’m being spotted in the Carrefour every week looking for napkins (if you don’t believe me ask the sales girls). Over time as i also get older like anybody i can see this older brother syndrome develop into a "favourite uncle" syndrome (not to be mistaken by sugar uncle) and when time progresses even further and i live to see it it will develop into an "granddaddy syndrome" which is 100% incurable.
These girls never see me as a potential sex partner, they would probably sooner get involved in kinky stuff with Yogi bear then with me. I’m not talking Bargirls here mind you, I’m talking about perfectly nice office girls. These girls root anything that walks on 2 legs and has blue eyes and blond hair (I see u getting red in the face Kareltjuh) and when their hearts have been broken again for the 2000th time they come to me to seek comfort and a napkin. If I would ask them to try the sex with me for a change they would either laugh their socks off, get a heart attack, look at me as if I’m speaking an alien language while suddenly turning into a green Doctor Spock, or they would slap my face never to return again.

More from my advenures to come, u can still run away and hide or construct a bomb to kill me off.

Just another diary in JakChat, again!

trust me, i'm thinking about it.

Hey Dutch, have you ever thought seriously about coming out of the closet? The writing is on the wall. It's relatively easy these days and that nice fella Tutti Frutti, who sometimes comes on here, could give you a pointer or two. Think about it..

good story again. , the restaurant part is quite hilareous (at least I think) or is that because im Dutch too :?

To riccardo (how do u make a bloody quote)

No mate the girls i refer to are all office girls in their early 20´s to early 30´s, and i never touched any of them (not that i didn´t want to) but i know they don´t like me for that.

About the boys in the restaurant or any Indonesian guy, i would rather fcuk a cane toad then an indo guy. Ever since i been in Indonesia i have been followed, stalked, grabbed in my crotch etc by numerous gay guys, sometimes i got so mad i could hardly stop myself from busting one, glad i never did.

About underage boys (that´s what u refer to) sorry mate, u might fancy them but the only thing i would like to sleep with are girls, preferably in their 20´s and if they still look ok even girls in their 30´s

Unfortunately in Indonesia i never managed to get one.

actually i dun give a fcuk what u think about me

Dutch, no offense intended, just a harmless thought that crossed my mind while reading your story.

And I do agree with Karel that the restaurant story, (the wrong food!) was totally hilarious. That's what makes indonesia so interesting -- in a funny, maddening way.

oh dutchy, I understood now why you PMed me like that

How entertaining! ...Can see myself in most situations you describe, the restaurant, the sweating, etc.. Very funny. And when you put aside the hookers and "easy" girls, it's hard to get a good girl interested in you... But I feel lucky I'm still "young" enough and I finally find one! Hang on, dude... you have to broke the spell by taking the risk to flirt with those crying donnas!!!

maybe you need me

Hi dutch_guy, I'm probably one of them who has a syndrome of older-brother-complex. Now, I know why one of my friends was really upset to me. But, he didn't have a heart to tell me the truth. Most of the time I'm feeling bad about this. Thanks anyway, I'll be more careful to whom I'd like to consider as a big brother.

Thx canada. Congrats that u r young and able to get the good girls.
For me i'm simply too old now at age 37 i will have to settle on a celebate life. Actually even the hookers and easy girls would not even have a go with me any more.

Am i sad and disappointed?? Mabye cos even a 37 yo guy still has "desires". But i can accept my destiny and take it as a man. There are more things in life than women, and i already proved to myself over the last 3 years that i can live without sex. I mean being without it hasn't killed me yet.

Dutch guy .... Does the sad lonely nobody is interested in me routine still work?

Hey Dutch! come on now.. 37 is not old at all.. you're going to make the young 40s & 50s out there feeling bad! lol

Chewwy: well yes probably .. :p

in that case choco I am sad and lonely. who will take pity and offer their body?

37? is great age!!!

Have you ever been with a cow before chewwy? *blinking flirtatiously*

i came very close one night in a remote town in Oklahoma but its not something I brag about

LOL! come on don't be shy, tell us all..

if i did it to get sympathy or to get in girls pants it didn't work. I think indo girls are too clever for that, don't worry chewy

Good point, wise enough I guess, and just like Ms.Chocolatea darling said....if you wise enough then you can move to the next stage of life

Hope you get what you want & your luck Dutch Guy.

You will be old if you feel old. One way not to feel that way: come to the next Jakchitchatter!!!

My friend Roy has been with a cow, but claims he was, "young and needed the money."

a wise man once said you are only as old as the woman you feel ..... probably J. Howard Marshall

*smooches MT*

Shesca lol! , so the youngest boy here is Kuku?