kenyeung accidently deleted a post, so i have thoughtfully reposted it for him (see below):

kenyeung: If you've ever found yourself chuckling over The Sunday Post's Metro Mad column, you'll know it's not only entertaining but also the most informative read in the Indonesian media. If you can't get enough of that witty prose, simply fill in the blanks from the corresponding lists and you'll have your very own:

Do-It-Yourself Metro Mad Column

Hello readers, this week's Metro Mad tackles the controversial perennial taboo stultifying spiritual rarely discussed immoral gay fearsome depressing titillating irrelevant subject of Islamic law floods prostitution corruption the busway my penis Jusuf Kalla writer's block JakChat supermarkets duty-free alcohol Carry On movies .

Recently, one of my chums co-workers maids students ojek drivers prostitute girlfriends illegitimate children socks pet turtles duty free shops bags of marijuana clap clinic receptionists invited me to Jalan Jaksa Monas a drive-in mosque a church the Bintang brewery the Gedung DPR the shooting of a porn film a JakChat gathering a gay brothel Wiranto's birthday party a mass circumcision Suharto's funeral .

Upon arrival, we saw FPI members drunk English teachers American soldiers the Lapindo mudflow victims Papuan mercenaries rented goats KuKu's ex-wives a group of ladyboys Hilary Clinton and Barak Obama the cast of Carry On Up the Khyber the Suharto children Hall and Oates shouting anti-Western slogans "satu lagi mas!" "aku dan kau suka Dancow!" "wes ewes ewes bablas angine!" "Merdeka!" "hello mister!" "fuck Suharto!" "want massage? take room now?" "free West Papua!" "transport miss!" "ban the Jakarta Post!" "Dear Slim, I wrote but you still ain't callin" and equipped with large bottles of Bintang Russian weapons US fighter planes durian-flavored ganja explodable dildos sachets of McDonald's sambal angry orangutans a bronze statue of Inul a box of condoms desiccated jellyfish bags of 100,000 rupiah notes pirated copies of Cum Swappers #6 .

Their action, which follows raids on bars the banning of online masturbation Idul Adha the cloning of Sutiyoso my positive test for gonorrhea the bombing of Ya Udah Bistro my motorbike accident a TVRI documentary on giant ants the closure of Adam Air a surge in illegal logging the release of halal pork the opening of more Busway corrdiors , could threaten wipe out partition legalize badminton in ban dwarfs from tarnish the reputation of freeze the assets of bring back Rano Kano to remove squatters from introduce British cooking to cause illegal logging in Islamicize Aceh province a Surabaya Burger King Papuan caravan parks the David Jardine Memorial Brothel the 2008 Olympics hamster colonies the Dutch Empire Kupang's 5-star hotels Carthage Romance Bar Hero supermarkets my underpants and affect national unity foreign investment the crude oil price the English Premier League my Dutch housemate's future Riccardo's Jakchat comeback the rising cost of sand the outcome of the Crusades Nokia ringtones Megawati's nightclub career the duration of my KITAS my sex life .

Regular readers of Metro Mad Indonesian Playboy The Point the al-Qu'ran The Cat in the Hat McDonald's Ramadhan menu Suharto's autobiography catfish entrails The Brothers Karamazov condom instructions my bank statements Indomie recipes will know the folly of mixing politics and beer fuck-all the cost of a Blok M whore my home address I idolize Richard Dawkins a few big words the Busway sucks I smoke weed the meaning of love the lyrics of Indonesia Payah how to drink Baygon the route of MetroMini 79 .

Well, that's all for now folks, I'm off to England present a quiz at Eastern Promise Jalan Palatehan get killed on a bicycle argue in gay chatrooms shag some bule bird at the Jakarta Post solve global warming the Sixth Floor invent a cure for Dutch arrogance Tommy Suharto's bar mitzvah the FA Cup final buy porn .

Pissed myself laughing

That's me out of a job then.

...you rotten bleeders

sorry about that long ungainly unformatted crap at the top of this thread - I had just done a test post and then deleted it, but Kuku pulled it out of the bin and put it back. Anyway, that's Metro Mad covered for the year, no?

Could you make one of these Metro Mad Columns based on porn input sort of like a do it yourself penthouse stories kind of thing?

you can play with the one above to make erotic stories.

I've already stolen it and added it to me blog (Credit was given to the perpetrators of course)

Flattered to have been deemed worthy of satire

not so much satire, as derision

Ken's just jealous. Wishes he was back in the hot seat (in Pappas), got Oz fatigue. Stick with Julia S and her column's wet arse dry pussy capers if Metro's proving too intellectual to get ya head round. Work your way up to the Mad slowly via some lesser columnists. You won't regret it.

thanks

.

RH, you gotta learn to eat : popcorn :

Got it. Cheers. Only taken me 18 months to work that out. Amazing.

this is brilliant! i wanted to post it in my blog as well, as soon as i saw it, unfortunately dilli's beaten me to it. love it!