My younger brother visited me last year, during the course of his visit he spelt once with a girl (who was a sister of someone I knew). They contacted last year to say that she was pregnant to him, demanding that I make him marry her, I scoffed and said prove that you really are pregnant and the date of conception. At which point I heard nothing more about it.

Until last sunday, she turned up on my doorstep, with baby and some friends for moral support. They say they want a marriage to get the baby a birth certificate, not to empty his wallet (their words!)

What the hell do I do??

he should get a paternity test, at a clinic that he himself chooses.

of course, she can get a birth certificate without marriage. in fact, dual citizenship could be arranged without the requirement of marriage.

I'll bet she is trying it on!

Tell her to get a paternity test and watch her have a big nervous breakdown with the "negative" result.

Then, with a sympathetic tear in your eye ask her "How the fuck many guys did you have that month, you bitch?"



Works a treat every time!

We were thinking to tell her to prove? but not make it easier for them, if we get a paternity test, isnt that sugegsting that we might be considering helping them??

This lady is in her 30s is obviously not just a naive young girl, and it is very suspicious that she never approached us until late in the pregnancy when abortion was no longer an option. It is also interesting that she has waited till now to approach us again, we only have her word on the date of birth and it could easily have been a month either way and we would not have anyway of knowing. It seems she has done a very good job of setting my brother up. Whether she was looking to trap herself a western male for marriage or just money only time will tell.

I think the birth certificate issue is a convenient way too start negotiations with me, but once there is any acknowledgement of fatherhood then the demands will start. I am certain that even if my brother were the father there is no way of getting an Australian birth certificate for this child and it is quite ridiculous to suggest marriage with someone that he has known for one night a year ago.

She has sat on this for 12 months so I don't think I have to feel obliged to treat this with great urgency now. I'm just concerned about what they may do next ? DO they have any legal standing? They could certainly cause promblems for me in the neighbourhood.

Pity this never took place in Australia as he could file for a section 107 declaration - then he would not have to pay anything until she proves it's his.

Mind you, the best advice I have ever given my younger brother was "keep it in yer pants son, it will end in tears"

He didn't listen anyway......

yes. you can. all that needs to be proved is that your brother is the father, by way of statutary declarations if need be.

SO she can sign a stat dec to say it is his??

it's not a question of legal standing, but rather how much trouble she can cause you with police reports, stirring up neighours, and so forth. law is very much in the distance. basically, when it comes down to it, she has to prove beyond doubt that your brother is the father. if she cannot do that, then it's not his problem.

and, by the way, don't put anything on paper.

she can do that, for what it is worth.

for the purposes of registering the child as an australian citizen, in the absence of marriage certificate, a stat dec can be used, among other things. this presumes, of course, that the child is proven to be your brothers.

Cheers, sounds good (sort of) to me!

At the end of the day the paternity test is the way to go. If it's negative that is the end of the matter. If it turns out your brother is the father then he has to man up and take some responsibility. He doesn’t have to marry her for a birth certificate to be produced, however if he doesn’t marry her then there will be no fathers name on the birth certificate.

Doesn’t matter if you trust this girl or not. She didn’t want an abortion and she has every right to do what she thinks is best. Not having the father appear on the birth certificate can be a problem as family perception is that it brings shame etc. This is also why she wants to be married because Indonesian culture is not very accepting to unmarried mothers with bastard children.

If the child is your brothers then he should talk to the girl and negotiate with her and her family. Maybe saying that while your brother cannot marry her he is willing to process a citizenship by decent form which will give the baby an Australian passport. He should also look at paying the girl a few million per month to ensure the child has food on the table.

Bye the way Willy, is your brother a reporter or a teacher.

Only asking as this seems to be the kind of thing these guys do best!

neither! but fair comment !

...and for future reference your brother may wish to try one of these, I find them to be very effective.

indeed, RH; a one night stand without a condom? in indonesia? really bad idea.

yeah right, so many acquaintances of mine have got into trouble of varying degrees and paid a price for their 'domless ways. Just wear a blob will you lads? It doesn't feel that much different from the bare back ride.

either that or pot the brown

For reasons I don't want to get into. I myself had to get a DNA test for my indo kid. I got it at a clinic/lab down the street from jaksa across from Gondangdia station, on the corner, white building. 800$ US. ouch. good luck.

we'd love you to go into the reasons.

i sugest to your brother to test DNA, even spend some dollars and times, to prove that child his or not. better than wasting time and money for not sure yet whats going on next sound this woman redicilous, only one night?! if she knew pregnant without married or relationship, why she keep the baby until born, why not abortion. i feel so sad to the baby born without status, or father in indonesia its really bad for women and the baby. atlease she wanna something, yes like money or she really wanna marry your brother. oh well, good luck then. if the baby really his, please responsibility. if not just ignore her, so she can learn whats her done its bad. poor the baby

There you go kingwilly .. dolphin has given you an insight in to what the girl (or her family and friends are thinking and why she wants that name on the birth certificate. While its not an issue in Australia it is a real issue in Indonesia.

Quite, although some floozies won't let you near the bonus tunnel