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#54475 - 23 Jun 07 20:06 Re: Lipstick, stilettos, cheap makeup and condoms [Re: riccardo]
Magpie Offline
Member**

Registered: 29 Mar 06
Posts: 1306
Loc: The Toon
ANother Astute Lynching, Captain.
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"People say funny things......."

Peter Kay

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#54476 - 23 Jun 07 20:39 Re: Lipstick, stilettos, cheap makeup and condoms [Re: riccardo]
KuKuKaChu Moderator Offline
Pooh Bah

Registered: 09 Oct 05
Posts: 10790
Loc: Centre of the Universe
Quoting: riccardo
The story I referred to was published in a national newspaper, with a global online readership. ... People pay good money to receive it or put ads in it, so such a publication will always be held to a higher standard than jakchatters rambling on for fun.

now just cut that out, riccardo. you're starting to make sense. you'll get a reputation if you keep this up.
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KuKuKaChu: dangerously too sophisticated

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#54482 - 23 Jun 07 23:09 Re: Lipstick, stilettos, cheap makeup and condoms [Re: riccardo]
Capt. Mainwaring Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 16 Aug 06
Posts: 3225
Loc: here
Quoting: riccardo
Quoting: Capt. Mainwaring
[quote=riccardo]

Having reveiwed [sic] a lot of what you have written here

Why don't you go on a crusade through JC - let's face it , the standard of some of the written english here is pretty hopeless , and I'm not talking about english from some of the Indonesian guests , but from some of the expats - but I don't reckon that "U have the balls too Say very much about there language " - get my drift ?


Why in the heck would I go on a crusade to fix everybody's English on JC? This is a place meant for people to relax and chat and hang out, just like a pub. It's not meant to be perfect, never was and never will be, not for me or anyone else. The story I referred to was published in a national newspaper, with a global online readership. I found it to be a GREAT read, but was annoyed by the grotesque typos in it -- which BTW, are not the fault of the author entirely. People pay good money to receive it or put ads in it, so such a publication will always be held to a higher standard than jakchatters rambling on for fun. Not a difficult concept, I can't believe I actually had to explain that to you....


This is a place meant for people to relax and chat and hang out, just like a pub.
If that is the case , I can only assume that you have had a few good slappings in the pub of your choice -

They aren't "typos" , they are plain and simple mistakes by the author , unless you are of course saying that the publisher made those errors ? In any case, the content remains unchanged and perfectly understandable , and I find the errors a lot less annoying than the comments about them .
_________________________
I also made a vegetarian version,with tempe and tofu chunks for myself and others.Get over it.
Kosong.Wolo.Setunggal.Setunggal.Setunggal.Kosong.Pitu.Setunggal.Kosong.Wolo=Tempik

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#54483 - 23 Jun 07 23:20 Re: JP/Lipstick, stilettos, cheap makeup and condoms [Re: Dilli]
kenyeung Moderator Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 16 Apr 07
Posts: 2374
Loc: Indonesia
Quoting: Meidyatama Suryodiningrat, The Jakarta Post, Jakarta
Jakarta: A city we learn to love but never to like

If Jakarta were a person, she'd be a whore.


What a load of silly tosh.

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#54484 - 23 Jun 07 23:24 Re: Lipstick, stilettos, cheap makeup and condoms [Re: flingwing]
Capt. Mainwaring Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 16 Aug 06
Posts: 3225
Loc: here
Quoting: flingwing
Lord, but that you would make all in my life this easy (grin).

Quoting: Capt. Mainwaring
" . . . let's face it , [sic] the standard of some of the written english [sic] here is pretty hopeless , [sic]and I'm not talking about english [sic] from some of the Indonesian guests , [sic] but from some of the expats . . . "

Tsk, tsk, tsk, Corporal Mainbearing, I thought we ripped the rank off your sleeves yesterday with that spelling/vocabulary blunder of yours concerning the "Celts of ancient Gaul". However, everyone and his sister can see now that your "english" [spelled by native speakers with an initial capital letter since about 1215 A.D.] needs more than just a tune-up. We think you need a make-over{grin}.

From this day, henceforth, you have been so advised that, except for dashes (-), other internal, English sentence punctuation do not have spaces before them. Therefore, don't use a space before commas (,), semicolons (;) and colons (:). Similarly, do not use a space before sentence end punctuation: e.g., question marks (?), exclamation marks (!), and periods (.).

Quoting: Capt. Mainwaring
" . . . - but I don't reckon that "U have the balls too Say very much about there language " - get my drift ? [sic]

Corporal, if it hadn't been for all your previous vocabulary and "grammer" {heh, heh, - just little "in joke" between us, eh, Corporal?} mistakes, I would have believed you were trying to take the mick out of someone by purposely using "U", "too", and "there" in that sentence. In other words, I might have wanted to "get your "drift".

However, with all your egregious mistakes, we cannot take chances. Even had those incorrect words (and a code letter, perish the thought!) been used by you on purpose, you have been setting such a poor example of proper written English for our non-native English readers here that we must, forthwith, correct this sentence.

NOTE - to our non-native English-speaking guests here: the incorrect part of the Corporal's sentence, above, should properly be written: "that 'you have the balls [he means courage] to say very much about their language'".

NOTE - and to ALL our readers here, be the first to report the Corporal (then Captain) using the last refuge of English language scoundrels, " . . . we invented the language ,[sic] [so] we are best qualified to comment on custom and usage .[sic]" as an excuse and WIN!

If you are the first to catch the miscreant Corporal, you will win a large beer at the bar of your choice. The Corporal (then Captain) has agreed to pay this fine to sharp-eyed readers who will help him get back on the (12-step) path to proper English.

That is all and have a good day.


Ah flingwing, you have managed to remove you lips from riccardo's bottom . "We" ? Is that you and riccardo or have you made another friend ? Tell me, are you a failed hack scratching about in search of the money for the next visa extension, or do you have a proper job ?

Fortunately , I didn't need to be made aware of the rules of punctuation , I do it to be rebelious and to annoy runny-nosed little people .

I'm sure your offer is very kind , though I suspect that you can't afford it , an in any case , do you think that there are many people who would accept a drink from you ?

I think that it may take more than you and your buddy to rip my stripes off .

_________________________
I also made a vegetarian version,with tempe and tofu chunks for myself and others.Get over it.
Kosong.Wolo.Setunggal.Setunggal.Setunggal.Kosong.Pitu.Setunggal.Kosong.Wolo=Tempik

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#54485 - 23 Jun 07 23:26 Re: Lipstick, stilettos, cheap makeup and condoms [Re: Magpie]
Capt. Mainwaring Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 16 Aug 06
Posts: 3225
Loc: here
Quoting: Magpie
ANother Astute Lynching, Captain.


Would you care to clarify that Magpie ?
_________________________
I also made a vegetarian version,with tempe and tofu chunks for myself and others.Get over it.
Kosong.Wolo.Setunggal.Setunggal.Setunggal.Kosong.Pitu.Setunggal.Kosong.Wolo=Tempik

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#54486 - 23 Jun 07 23:43 Re: Lipstick, stilettos, cheap makeup and condoms [Re: riccardo]
Capt. Mainwaring Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 16 Aug 06
Posts: 3225
Loc: here

Quote:

Why in the heck would I go on a crusade to fix everybody's English on JC?

People pay good money to receive it or put ads in it, so such a publication will always be held to a higher standard than jakchatters rambling on for fun. Not a difficult concept, I can't believe I actually had to explain that to you....


Actually, you did, as the JP has (according to you) a vicarious responsibilty to correct the item - if it isn't the JP's fault , then don't bother crapping on about it , if it is the JP's fault, also don't bother crapping on about it and take the matter up with your mate.

I think that to use the words "higher standards " and "The Jakarta Post" in then same sentence is foolish to say the least .

Do you remember the signature that you used to use that had a spelling mistake in it - agreed from the original author , but none the less , you still used it ? So the JP (quality publication that it is) took old Meidyatama's comments and published them verbatim , at least what the old boy had to say was half way near interesting enough to get read to the end - the vast majority of your old tosh whilst correct in grammar, spelling and punctuation , is so boring as to bring tears to a glass eye .
_________________________
I also made a vegetarian version,with tempe and tofu chunks for myself and others.Get over it.
Kosong.Wolo.Setunggal.Setunggal.Setunggal.Kosong.Pitu.Setunggal.Kosong.Wolo=Tempik

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#54490 - 24 Jun 07 00:44 Re: Lipstick, stilettos, cheap makeup and condoms [Re: Capt. Mainwaring]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
All that aside, I rather enjoyed the original article.
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Menace to Sobriety


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#54491 - 24 Jun 07 00:45 Re: Lipstick, stilettos, cheap makeup and condoms [Re: Capt. Mainwaring]
flingwing Offline
Member++

Registered: 28 May 07
Posts: 188
Loc: Jakarta
Quoting: Capt. Mainwaring
Would you care to clarify that Magpie ?

MAGPIE - in these situations, never apologize and never explain smile

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#54495 - 24 Jun 07 02:14 Re: Lipstick, stilettos, cheap makeup and condoms [Re: Dilli]
riccardo Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 12 Oct 05
Posts: 2195
Loc: Jakarta
Quoting: Dilli
All that aside, I rather enjoyed the original article.


I agree 10000% and it's the first thing I said in my initial comment about the article. BUT goodness gracious sakes, how utterly sad this is that Captain Whingemeister has to be such a miserable kook and just mindlessly attack other people. He probably never even read the article, but just had like some Pavlovian response and began to hurl abuse at all and sundry.

Really Capt., get some help, you sound so miserable and frustrated. And frankly, it's really, really ugly. Sorry I could not be more subtle, but just thought you might need to hear it.
_________________________
Just here proffering my pearls to swine, my throat to wolves and my trousers to the flagpole.

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#54508 - 24 Jun 07 09:44 Re: Lipstick, stilettos, cheap makeup and condoms [Re: riccardo]
chewwyUK Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 14 Sep 06
Posts: 2392
Loc: Jakarta
As this topic seems to have diverted some what I would like to point out that my oiginal response to ricks posting was not a personal attack .... Just saying how frustrating it must be to read something and have these mistakes jump out at you. I would imagine there are mistakes in a lot of things written these days.

Anyway ric ... does it get tedious or what?
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Edited by Piss Salon
Edit Reason: taste

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#54509 - 24 Jun 07 10:22 Re: Lipstick, stilettos, cheap makeup and condoms [Re: chewwyUK]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Not true!

You were spoiling for a fight! I know what you are like!
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Menace to Sobriety


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#54511 - 24 Jun 07 10:38 Re: Lipstick, stilettos, cheap makeup and condoms [Re: Dilli]
kenyeung Moderator Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 16 Apr 07
Posts: 2374
Loc: Indonesia
Goats, apparently.

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#54512 - 24 Jun 07 10:40 Re: Lipstick, stilettos, cheap makeup and condoms [Re: kenyeung]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
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Menace to Sobriety


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#54513 - 24 Jun 07 11:20 Re: Lipstick, stilettos, cheap makeup and condoms [Re: Dilli]
kenyeung Moderator Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 16 Apr 07
Posts: 2374
Loc: Indonesia
Most of the cyber-pap concerning goats is cruel slander, such as this load of old cobblers:

Murdered for failing to diaper goats
On August 7, NPR journalist John Hendren reported that “Shepherds in the rural western Baghdad neighborhood of Gazalia have recently been murdered for failing to diaper their goats. Apparently, the sexual tension is so high in regions where sheiks take a draconian view of Sharia law that they feel the sight of naked goats poses an unacceptable temptation.” But it’s not only goats moving their uncovered behinds in a sensual way that irks fervent believers. Produce, too, has gotten a bad reputation. In East Baghdad, said Hendren, “[a] grocer and three others were shot to death and the store was firebombed, because he suggestively arranged his vegetables. An Iraqi colleague explained matter-of-factly that Shiite clerics have recently distributed a flyer directing grocers how to display their food. Standing up a celery stock near a couple of tomatoes in a way that might—to the profoundly repressed—suggest an aroused male is now a capital offense.”

Whereas this story from 2002 was true:

Goat rapist arrested
Police in the West Java city of Cirebon have arrested a 36-year-old unemployed man for "raping" five young goats to death.

Sakadi was arrested a few days ago after he was attacked by locals who were informed of his assaults on the goats by their owner. “The suspect has been charged with an article on abuses in the Criminal Code," said Sunyoto of the North Cirebon Police Detective Unit.

Police had initially been uncertain what to charge Sakadi with, as sexually assaulting animals is not covered in the Criminal Code. They eventually opted to charge him under the article on abuses, following testimonies from the owner and locals who felt concerned by the bestiality.

Sakadi, whose wife reportedly died two years ago, said he had raped goats every night since early September because he could not afford to pay prostitutes. "Seeking goats is easier and they don't protest like women. And I didn't need to pay," he said.

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#54514 - 24 Jun 07 11:41 Re: Lipstick, stilettos, cheap makeup and condoms [Re: kenyeung]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar

Did you see the story about the Sudanese man who was caught having sex with a goat? The council of elders forced him to marry the goat as his punishment. Apparently, man and goat are living happily ever after, except for the goat, who is still getting cornholed by a crazy Sudanese guy, but now he has to wash dishes with his hooves.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/nol/ukfs_news/hi/newsid_4740000/newsid_4748200/4748292.stm


Having a goat wife might come in handy. You could carry a little Cup with you, and any time you got thirsty, you could just reach over and yank a nice warm cup of goat milk.

That might not sound delicious to you, but in Sudan, warm goat milk is a delicacy, second only to humping the goat. Unless it's a boy goat, in which case it's considered a close third.

I think I would have claimed I was performing an experiment in churning goat butter without using a churn.

Anyway, this story raises many interesting issues about property rights. The owner obviously felt wronged when he saw his neighbor going all funky on his goat. Why?

Evidently it wasn't a bestiality issue, since the council of elders forced the perpetrator to marry the goat. And it wasn't concern for the goat's wellbeing, since marrying a goat-humper isn't a step in the right direction. So what was the problem?

Was the owner planning to butcher the goat, and didn't want his goatburgers to have any special sauce?

Was the owner mad because he was saving the goat for himself?

There was no damage to the goat, unless you count some stretching. Having sex with your neighbor's goat is a lot like violating a copyright. It's totally victimless, right?

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Menace to Sobriety


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#54515 - 24 Jun 07 11:54 Re: Lipstick, stilettos, cheap makeup and condoms [Re: Dilli]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
And then there is Goatse!

What has that got to do with goats?

(Try Google Image Search, have sick bucket close by!)

http://www.firstgoatse.com/shock.htm




Attachments
2034-goatse.jpg


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Menace to Sobriety


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#54518 - 24 Jun 07 12:17 Re: Lipstick, stilettos, cheap makeup and condoms [Re: Dilli]
kenyeung Moderator Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 16 Apr 07
Posts: 2374
Loc: Indonesia
As Peter Gontha used to say: "The Internet is a powerful tool but it must be used responsibly."

Of course, he then went on to make the Indonesian version of The Apprentice and it sucked ass, much like the original version with Donald Trump.

Speaking of Gontha, the Chinese Jews joke remains the highlight of his excellent website:
http://gontha.com/view.php?nid=26

While his performance as presenter of The Apprentice Indonesia is nicely reviewed here:
http://permagnus.com/2005/10/11/the-apprentice-indonesia/

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#54520 - 24 Jun 07 14:24 Re: Lipstick, stilettos, cheap makeup and condoms [Re: kenyeung]
Piss Salon Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 27 Jun 06
Posts: 4039
Loc: Jakpus
I thought the article was fucking good. Especially for Suryo. I am using it to teach English because talking about whores with students makes me horny.

And Ricc, you are spot on.
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place within us love that truly gives, tenderness that truly unites, self-offering that tells the truth and does not deceive, forgiveness that truly receives, loving physical union that welcomes

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#54521 - 24 Jun 07 14:34 Re: Lipstick, stilettos, cheap makeup and condoms [Re: Piss Salon]
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Talking about whores with yourself makes you horny
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Menace to Sobriety


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#54522 - 24 Jun 07 15:29 Re: Lipstick, stilettos, cheap makeup and condoms [Re: riccardo]
Capt. Mainwaring Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 16 Aug 06
Posts: 3225
Loc: here
Quoting: riccardo
Quoting: Dilli
All that aside, I rather enjoyed the original article.


I agree 10000% and it's the first thing I said in my initial comment about the article. BUT goodness gracious sakes, how utterly sad this is that Captain Whingemeister has to be such a miserable kook and just mindlessly attack other people. He probably never even read the article, but just had like some Pavlovian response and began to hurl abuse at all and sundry.

Really Capt., get some help, you sound so miserable and frustrated. And frankly, it's really, really ugly. Sorry I could not be more subtle, but just thought you might need to hear it.


A rather "Chuckyesque" reply as usual .

You would be the last person on earth to give advice about tact and diplomacy Riccardo - do you not see just how ignorrant/arrogant you are/appear to be ? Just read the pissing article and let that be the end of it .
Frankly I am surprised that you didn't inject a bit of anti-islam sentiment in it too - you generally don't miss the chance .

Me get help ? take a look at your little wallow hole GRSB - full of love and enlightenment ? and typically american , you delete what you don't like (better than dropping a bomb though I agree).

You got your panty-hose in a twist regarding alledgedly personal comments - yet you dish the same shite out continuously , perhaps I should ignore you , but on the other hand , why the fuck should I ?

"Pavlovian response" ? I don't like Pavlova , and I don't have a dog , so I can't see that it can be so .
_________________________
I also made a vegetarian version,with tempe and tofu chunks for myself and others.Get over it.
Kosong.Wolo.Setunggal.Setunggal.Setunggal.Kosong.Pitu.Setunggal.Kosong.Wolo=Tempik

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#54525 - 24 Jun 07 15:55 Re: Lipstick, stilettos, cheap makeup and condoms [Re: Dilli]
chewwyUK Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 14 Sep 06
Posts: 2392
Loc: Jakarta
Quoting: Dilli
Not true!

You were spoiling for a fight! I know what you are like!


Okay .. you got me. It's true I am a shit stirrrer. I can't help it, it's in my nature.

_________________________
Edited by Piss Salon
Edit Reason: taste

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#54526 - 24 Jun 07 16:29 Re: Lipstick, stilettos, cheap makeup and condoms [Re: chewwyUK]
Capt. Mainwaring Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 16 Aug 06
Posts: 3225
Loc: here
See, you started it, I actually thought that Riccardo's comments were atypically relevant and restrained. I'm easily led .
_________________________
I also made a vegetarian version,with tempe and tofu chunks for myself and others.Get over it.
Kosong.Wolo.Setunggal.Setunggal.Setunggal.Kosong.Pitu.Setunggal.Kosong.Wolo=Tempik

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#54527 - 24 Jun 07 16:34 Re: Lipstick, stilettos, cheap makeup and condoms [Re: chewwyUK]
kenyeung Moderator Offline
Pujangga

Registered: 16 Apr 07
Posts: 2374
Loc: Indonesia
Quoting: Hutomo Mandala Putra
Saya punya prinsip, saya mau monogami, seperti bapak saya dan ibu saya. Jadi saya harus mengikuti bapak dan ibu. Saya harus menikah.. satu, sama yang perawan, yang bibit, bobot, bebet.


What rubbish. Garbage. Unmitigated tarradiddle. The story about the Cirebon goat rapist is TRUE:

Media Indonesia
Kamis, 19 September 2002

Duda Ditangkap akibat Perkosa Kambing

CIREBON (Media): Seorang duda, Sakadi, 36, warga Desa Jatimerta, Kabupaten Cirebon, menyetubuhi lima ekor kambing hingga mati. Akibat perbuatannya itu, Sakadi ditahan di Polsek Cirebon Utara.
Kambing yang disetubuhinya berkelamin betina dan masih muda, kemudian dicongkel matanya sehingga mati. Massa yang mengetahui perbuatan Sakadi merasa tersinggung, terutama pemilik kambing, Sakrim, 55. Massa sempat mengeroyoknya, namun diselamatkan petugas polsek setempat. Polisi mendapat laporan dari saksi korban pemilik kambing dan masyarakat.
Untuk itu Sakadi segera diselamatkan dan dikirim ke sebuah tempat yang dirahasiakan supaya aman. Kapolsek Cirebon Utara Iptu Bambang Suryanata membenarkan kejadian unik yang dilakukan oleh seorang pengangguran yang ditinggal mati istrinya dua tahun lalu itu.
"Tersangka dibidik dengan pelanggaran perusakan dan penganiayaan (Pasal 406 jo 302 KUH Pidana)," kata Kapolsek Cirebon Utara melalui penyidik Bripka Sunyoto kepada Media kemarin.
Menurutnya, Sakadi sering melakukan perbuatan aneh tersebut pada malam hari sekitar pukul 23.00 WIB. Seperti kasus terakhir yang kemudian digerebek massa yang sudah mengintainya sejak lama.
Perbuatan Sakadi dilakukan saat kambing sedang tidur. Dengan hanya mengenakan celana pendek, Sakadi mendatangi kandang kambing milik Sakrim yang jaraknya sekitar 300 meter dari rumahnya.
Dengan leluasa Sakadi melampiaskan hasrat seksnya yang selama ini terpendam. Ia tidak bisa melakukannya kepada manusia, karena mengaku tidak punya uang. ]"Cari kambing kan lebih gampang, dan rasanya lebih dari 'barang' perempuan, karena lebih hangat dan tidak protes seperti manusia. Lagian tidak harus bayar," kata Sakadi seperti dikutip Kapolsek.
Tadinya polisi tidak berani memberi keterangan kepada pers karena khawatir Sakadi dikejar massa, dan takut kantor polsek diserang. Peristiwa itu terjadi awal September 2002. Namun, karena kini tersangka sudah dinyatakan aman, polisi pun berani membuka kasus tersebut.
Kasus itu merupakan perkara baru yang terjadi di Cirebon. Awalnya petugas kebingungan mencari pasal pelanggaran yang pas, karena jika membidik tersangka dengan pasal pencabulan kepada binatang, tidak ada dalam KUHP. Polisi akhirnya membidik tersangka dengan kasus perusakan (406 KUHP) dengan kasus penganiayaan (203 KUHP).
"Dua pasal itu akhirnya bisa masuk, tapi dikuatkan dengan laporan pemilik kambing dan masyarakat yang merasa diganggu ketenteramannya," ungkap Kapolsek.



Edited by kenyeung (24 Jun 07 16:36)
Edit Reason: goats, apparently

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#54528 - 24 Jun 07 16:42 Re: Lipstick, stilettos, cheap makeup and condoms [Re: kenyeung]
Capt. Mainwaring Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 16 Aug 06
Posts: 3225
Loc: here
"Cari kambing kan lebih gampang, dan rasanya lebih dari 'barang' perempuan, karena lebih hangat dan tidak protes seperti manusia. Lagian tidak harus bayar,"

Well he is right - and in this case the term "rasanya" is 100% spot on - if it doesn't shag well then he can always eat it, or I suppose he can shag it then eat it- with stuffing so to speak.

I'm a bit concerned about his assertion that "it is warmer" than a human - I reckon the bugger is cooking it while he is humping it .

I reckon that the very least he should do is give it a couple of carrots and a bit of left over rice though .
_________________________
I also made a vegetarian version,with tempe and tofu chunks for myself and others.Get over it.
Kosong.Wolo.Setunggal.Setunggal.Setunggal.Kosong.Pitu.Setunggal.Kosong.Wolo=Tempik

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