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#29927 - 28 Feb 06 01:05 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
feline Offline
Member

Registered: 06 Feb 06
Posts: 13
Loc: jakarta
Hey Kumar,

Thanks, it's real funny laugh laugh laugh

How did you get it?
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#29928 - 28 Feb 06 11:53 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
Mlle Offline
Member

Registered: 08 Nov 05
Posts: 6
Loc: Jakarta
Hahhaha ..

This is a good one wink

Cheers !

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#29929 - 28 Feb 06 14:16 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
kumar Offline
Member+

Registered: 08 Feb 06
Posts: 122
Loc: Jakarta
JRD Tata (Indian Businessman) was asked in a seminar as to "What did he think were the golden words in English Language?"

Following was his reply:

If we allocate numbers to each of the English Alphabet (as shown below),then the following are the 3 MOST POWERFUL WORDS in English Language which add upto 100%.

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26


D I S C I P L I N E
4 9 19 3 9 16 12 9 14 5 = 100%

A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%

R E E N G I N E E R (changing yourself)
18 5 5 14 7 9 14 5 5 18 = 100 %


And here comes the next ones.....

C O M P E T E N C E
3 15 13 16 5 20 5 14 3 5 = 99 %

H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98 %

K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96 %

In addition to Knowledge, Hardwork & Competence, the important things that a person needs to be successful is to have DISCIPLINE, (RIGHT) ATTITUDE & the will to REENGINEER himself/herself in case of calamities/ hardships.

By the way... FORTUNE counts to 99
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#29930 - 28 Feb 06 14:38 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
Ena Offline
Member*

Registered: 26 Nov 05
Posts: 765
Loc: Sydney
wow thats clever. I like that kumar!
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#29931 - 28 Feb 06 15:44 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
cherry Offline
Member**

Registered: 08 Nov 05
Posts: 1055
Loc: Indonesia
Quote:
Originally posted by Ena:
wow thats clever. I like that kumar!
Cherry is kumar's teacher...so that's why he's very clever
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#29932 - 28 Feb 06 16:27 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
kumar Offline
Member+

Registered: 08 Feb 06
Posts: 122
Loc: Jakarta
Odd Signs from England!


1. IN A LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

3. IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs

4. IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.

5. IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

6. OUTSIDE A FARM: Horse manure -50 pence per pre-packed bag; 20 pence do-it-yourself.

7. ON A CHURCH DOOR:: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter yeall by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance)

8. ENGLISH SIGN IN A GERMAN CAFE: Mothers, Please Wash Your Hans Before Eating.

9. OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.

10. OUTSIDE A NEW TOWN HALL WHICH WAS TO BE OPENED BY THE PRINCE OF WALES: The Town Hall is closed until opening. It will remain closed after being opened. Open tomorrow.

11. OUTSIDE A PHOTOGRAPHER'S STUDIO: Out to lunch. If not back by five, out for dinner also.

12. SEEN AT THE SIDE OF A SUSSEX ROAD: Slow cattle crossing. No overtaking for the next 100 yrs.

13. OUTSIDE A DISCO: Smarts is the most exclusive disco in town. Everyone welcome.

14. QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.

15. NOTICE SENT TO RESIDENTS OF A WILTSHIRE PARISH: Due to increasing problems with litter louts and vandals we must ask anyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep them in order.

16. NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

17. ON A MOTORWAY GARAGE: Please do not smoke near our petrol pumps. Your life may not be worth much but our petrol is.

18. IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: Closed due to illness.

19. SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car

20. SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor.

21. NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.

22. MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.

23. ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)

24. SIGN AT A NORFOLK FARM GATE: Beware! I shoot every tenth trespasser and the ninth one has just left!

25. SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICE BLOCK: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.
_________________________
Take care, not too much, be good, not too much, keep lubricated, never enough!

It was simply excellent, it was simply sensual, it was simply sublime.

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#29933 - 28 Feb 06 16:31 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
g00f13 Offline
Member*

Registered: 12 Nov 05
Posts: 739
Loc: earth
And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

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#29934 - 28 Feb 06 16:35 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
g00f13 Offline
Member*

Registered: 12 Nov 05
Posts: 739
Loc: earth
This is a job applicant writing to apply for secretarial job.

------------------------------
Deer Sir,

I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me well.

Im lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited.

I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,

I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.

hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.


Sinseerly,

Peggy May Starlings


Employer's response:......


Dear Peggy May,

It's OK honey, we've got spell check

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#29935 - 28 Feb 06 20:54 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
Dilli Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 26 Feb 06
Posts: 8044
Loc: Nearest Bar
Did she have Susu Besar? In my experience it is always the girl with the biggest mammalian protuberances who wins.........Except in my comapany, our receptionit is 32AA, but who's complaining.........More than a mouthfull etc etc
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#29936 - 28 Feb 06 21:07 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
KuKuKaChu Moderator Offline
Pooh Bah

Registered: 09 Oct 05
Posts: 10790
Loc: Centre of the Universe
32AA?? peliiiittttttt.....
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#29937 - 28 Feb 06 22:46 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
cherry Offline
Member**

Registered: 08 Nov 05
Posts: 1055
Loc: Indonesia
Quote:
Originally posted by Dilligaf:
Did she have Susu Besar? In my experience it is always the girl with the biggest mammalian protuberances who wins.........Except in my comapany, our receptionit is 32AA, but who's complaining.........More than a mouthfull etc etc
Did the big boops is the main condition to get a job?
oh May..how poor of me..because I have the little one, 32a not 32A wink
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#29938 - 01 Mar 06 07:12 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
Polar Bear Offline
Pujangga Besar

Registered: 23 Nov 05
Posts: 6177
I think girls with small boops try harder.....

Cherry - you big or small boops???

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#29939 - 01 Mar 06 08:28 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
g00f13 Offline
Member*

Registered: 12 Nov 05
Posts: 739
Loc: earth
I love those petite 32a...

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#29940 - 01 Mar 06 08:36 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
KuKuKaChu Moderator Offline
Pooh Bah

Registered: 09 Oct 05
Posts: 10790
Loc: Centre of the Universe
i don't. they leave dents in your chest.
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#29941 - 01 Mar 06 08:48 Re: AT/Whose English is it?
g00f13 Offline
Member*

Registered: 12 Nov 05
Posts: 739
Loc: earth
Show me, let me feel it...let me be the judge of them.

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